Sibling Rivalry
by xGreatEscapex
Summary: What if Bella was embraced by the Denali coven before the Cullens? After Bella finds happiness and sisterhood that she never had, how have would her relationship with Edward panned out then?
1. Chapter 1

The blizzard that pounded Denali the day before our arrival left everything covered in a thick blanket of cold snow. For as far as I could see, everything was pure white. It was as if the world had become a blank void. I was comforted by the sight. It correlated with the way I had been feeling for the past two months. Blank and void.

I stepped closer to the window of the small log cabin Phil had rented for us and pressed my fingers against the cold glass. I relished the slightly stinging sensation on my skin and smiled when I realized that nothing here would remind me of my mother. Alaska was almost the polar opposite of Phoenix and that was the reason I'd chosen this place for a vacation. Phil had not been so pleased with my choice but went along with it regardless.

"When I suggested a vacation, I thought you would pick some where reasonable like Fiji, The Bahamas, or even California! But Alaska? I don't know who's crazier, you for suggesting to come here or me for agreeing to come here!" Phil ranted as he plopped on the couch and proceeded to take off his socks that were now wet thanks to the snow that had fallen down inside his boots.

I smiled apologetically and went to sit beside him. "I'm sorry Phil. I didn't know there was going to be a blizzard but you have to admit that it's absolutely beautiful here," I said.

He sighed and nodded his head. "That it is," he agreed.

"Plus there is so much to do here. Mountain climbing, hiking, white water rafting!" I exclaimed clasping his forearm in both my hands hoping to transfer my excitement to him. He was hurting just as much as I was and I wanted this trip to be fun for both of us. We both enjoyed all things adventurous and that was another reason for my choosing to come here.

"Do you think the climbing will be better here than in Phoenix?" he asked.

"Well we'll sure find out tomorrow," I replied, earning a smile from my step-dad and making me feel a lot better. I loved him fiercely and now he was the only person I had left. He had married my mother, Renee, when I was thirteen and adopted me soon after. I had no real memory of my biological father Charlie. Renee had left him only weeks after I was born and he died a month later in a car accident.

Renee was the type of person who was never satisfied. We had moved all around Arizona because she could never find a place that she really liked. She changed jobs more frequently than she changed her underwear and boyfriends more often than that. When we settled in Phoenix and she married Phil I was overjoyed. I thought that we would finally be able to just live a normal life, and we did for a very long time.

Renee had seemed so happy that it never occurred to me that she was getting bored again. It became clear though one morning when Phil and I awoke to a huge breakfast waiting for us in the kitchen and a note on the table that read:

_I'm sorry. I just had to._

Renee had just up and left. She had taken nothing with her but the entire contents of her and Phil's savings account. Her departure left me sad, angry, disappointed, confused and most of all hurt. Why hadn't she taken me with her? After a lot of thought it occurred to me that maybe all the times we moved and the constant changes she made in her life were not to get away from those boring locations and dead end jobs but maybe all this time she wanted to get away from me.

Phil assured me that this was not true but deep down I knew that it was. I tried to pretend that I didn't care, that her abandonment meant as little to me as I did to her but it was not always easy to pull off. Especially in Arizona where everything reminded me of her and all the good times we'd had. However now that we were in Alaska I was ready to really move on and put Renee behind me.

I stepped eagerly inside the restaurant ready to be out of the cold. I was so unaccustomed to it and I was terrified that I would be riddled with frostbite and have to get all my extremities amputated. I glanced at Phil to see if the cold had been affecting him like it was me but I found him to be in some sort of trance.

His jaw was hanging open dumbly and his eyes were fixed on something across the room. I couldn't help but laugh at his expression. I had never seen him completely transfixed like that before. I followed his gaze and gasped at what I saw.

She was quite possibly the most beautiful woman in the world. Her skin was so smooth and flawless with a complexion as pale as the snow outside. She had long silky blonde hair and impossibly long legs. Her eyes were the strangest yet most stunning golden color and fixed on Phil and I. She smiled the most dazzling and monstrously seductive smile and I blushed wildly in response. I didn't even want to see how Phil responded. I got the feeling I would get a glimpse of something below that border that no stepdaughter should take notice of on her stepfather.

The smile was bad enough but then she began to walk over to us...


	2. Chapter 2

_**SM owns.**_

**_Thank you Mommakat! You are the bestest in the westest! (Yea, I said it!)_**

* * *

_**KPOV**_

They were beautiful. I'd been leaning casually against the wall for only a few minutes before they walked through the door. I'd quickly grown tired of my last human conquest. He was a nice man and very sweet but that wasn't enough to hold my interest, so out of boredom I'd found myself at another restaurant in hopes of finding another tourist to excite me for a while. I was more than pleased when I'd spotted them. I knew nothing about them but my gut told me they were what I was looking for.

I openly stared at them. The man was tall and handsome. He had chestnut hair that was cropped short and a chiseled jaw. I figured he was in his mid to late thirties. His lips were on the thinner side but I didn't mind that at all. He had broad shoulders and big hands. The latter pleased me very much. Hands were so important. When his blue eyes met mine, a small yet seductive smile spread across my face of it's own volition.

I turned my attention to the girl he was with. She was much younger than him, not a day over eighteen I'd guess. She was very petite with a porcelain angel's face, so open and innocent with big brown doe eyes. Her hair was long, thick, and a rich lustrous mahogany color. I'd been interested in women before and though this girl was very pretty, I didn't want her. Her blood though, it was so fragrant. Venom rushed to my mouth but it was easily overlooked. I'd mastered my bloodlust centuries ago. I just wanted to be closer to her so that the smell was more potent. Of course I would resist the blood itself, but the scent I would not.

I wasn't sure whether it was astonishment or boldness that allowed them to stare back unabashedly but either way, I decided to go over to them. I walked slowly but deliberately. The porcelain angel's face flushed the loveliest pink I'd ever seen before she averted her eyes from me. She was shy. I internally giggled with delight. Shyness was a quality I didn't possess on my own but I adored it in others

The man's eyes widened in surprise as he realized my destination. I smiled just a bit wider, inserting a bit more warmth into it. When I was in front of them, I extended my hand to him.

"Hi, I'm Kate," I said sweetly. His reaction was delayed only fleetingly. He grasped my hand and shook it before introducing himself as Phil. His hand was gloved and he didn't recognize the difference in our body temperatures luckily. "Nice to meet you," I replied before turning to the girl. "And you are?"

"Bella," she replied, staring me directly in the eye. Her expression was slightly bemused. She didn't say anything further though so neither did I. I turned my attention back to Phil and cocked my head a little.

"If this will totally ruin your evening then don't hesitate to say no, but my friend has stood me up. I was going to just go ahead and eat alone but maybe I could join you guys instead?" I asked, composing my face in a helpless but hopeful expression.

Phil raised a questioning brow to Bella who winked at him in response. He rolled his eyes at her before turning back to me. "Sure," he smiled brightly.

I hadn't been sure of their relationship at first. He was far older than her and while that didn't necessarily rule out an intimate relationship, they just didn't seem to be a couple. They also bore no resemblance to indicate a familial relationship. I still wasn't quite sure what they were to each other but I was sure whatever it was, it was platonic. The restaurant was slow tonight so we got a table right away. We opened our menus and perused them over some introductory chit chat.

"So are you from around here or are you just visiting like us?" Phil asked.

"Oh, I live here with my two sisters, Tanya and Irina. We live just outside of town not too far from here," I replied. "Where are you guys from?"

"Arizona. Phoenix to be exact. We just got here yesterday," he answered.

"Arizona?" I repeated. "You left all that sun to come to this ice box?" While this was a perfect place for me, I thought that humans preferred to be somewhere sunny and hot.

Phil snorted and shook his head. "Believe me, it wasn't my idea, but Bells was determined so I couldn't say no," he said throwing an affectionate smile her way. She didn't get to see it since she didn't look up from her menu but smiled shyly into it. She had been so quiet and I wanted to draw her out a little bit. I didn't want her to feel excluded from the conversation.

"What made you decide to come here for vacation?"

She stiffened in her seat and her hand gripped the menu just a little tighter. Her jaw clenched as anger mingled with sadness flashed in her eyes. I hadn't expected that response but I tried not to show my shock. She recovered quickly with another smile. "The activities. Mountain climbing, hiking, and white water rafting," she answered.

I could tell there was more to the story. I was intrigued as to what it was but I didn't say anything. We'd just met and I highly doubted she would go spewing information she'd already decided to withhold from me if I probed.

"Oh well there's definitely a lot of fun in that. Is it just you two, then?" I asked. Bella went rigid again and Phil jumped in to answer.

"Yup, just us. Have you eaten here before?"

I didn't miss the sudden change of subject but overlooked that as well, despite my growing interest. Bella remained quiet throughout dinner, only speaking when she was spoken to. Phil more than compensated for that though. He was talkative and funny. I found out through the course of our conversation that he was Bella's step-dad and they would be here for two weeks. He was single which made me wonder where Bella's mother was. He had flirted shamelessly with me and I was sure that didn't go unnoticed by her.

Was she pissed at him for being so forward with me in front of her while her mother was not around? Why were they traveling without her anyway? I didn't want to cause any more tension, so I left my questions unasked for the time being.

After they'd eaten and I'd pushed my food around on my plate, we all left the restaurant together. The street was lined with tiny little shops and bars that Bella wanted to explore. Once we got outside Bella turned one way and Phil turned the other. He didn't notice but I did. Though she had been quiet all night, I'd found myself paying her most of my attention. I had no idea why I was fascinated with her but I was. I wanted to get to know her, befriend her even.

"Bella," I called making her and Phil stop walking in their opposite directions. "Where you going, honey?"

She smiled an impish smile that went past me to Phil. "Oh, I figured maybe you two would rather go and get a drink or something. I was just going to check out the shops so you know, you guys could be...alone," she said.

My eyes widened in surprise. Well apparently she wasn't pissed at Phil at all. She was encouraging him! I'd held off on my own plans to seduce him in fear of upsetting her more than she already seemed to be. More questions about her mother arose in light of this turn of events but now that I had some sort of unspoken go ahead from her I put my head back in the game. I glanced back at Phil who was smirking at Bella.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Bella rolled her eyes and turned away from us. "Have fun," she sang over her shoulder. "I'll find my own way back to the cabin later."

I frowned at her retreating form as a feeling something close to panic suddenly coiled in my belly. Denali was usually a pretty safe place for humans but she was a small and attractive young girl. She didn't know her way around and who's to say she wouldn't get lost and stumble upon some creep who wanted to take advantage of that? I wasn't sure letting her roam around on her own so that I could sleep with Phil was such a great idea.

I turned back to Phil to see if he was at all uneasy about the situation but he wasn't. He stepped closer to me and grabbed my hand. The worry I felt must have shown on my face because he was quick to assure me.

"She'll be fine. She's small but she's scrappy. She can take care of herself," he smiled and chuckled lightly. He seemed to care a lot about her and hopefully wouldn't disregard her safety for a night with me. I smiled and stepped closer to him. I followed him to a bar at the end of the block. I glanced behind me to see where Bella was headed but she was already out of sight. When Phil and I got to the bar, I stole away to the ladies' room. I was still worried about Bella and decided to call my sister to keep an eye on her.

_**BPOV**_

I chuckled to myself remembering the look on Phil's face. All throughout dinner he had been slobbering over Kate. I couldn't blame him though. She was alarmingly beautiful. I also felt a little sick satisfaction in the fact that she had made him forgot about Renee. I knew that it was weird that I was really hoping for them to sleep together to spite someone who probably didn't even care but I couldn't help it. Renee had abandoned us and I wanted nothing more than to disregard her the way she had us.

On the way to the restaurant, I'd spotted a bookstore cafe that seemed like my kind of place, low key, cozy, and quiet. I'd planned to come back one day before we left but since I'd found myself alone, I figured I'd just go now. I walked in and the delightful aroma of rich brewing coffee filled my nose. I walked right over to the counter and ordered myself a mocha with two extra shots of espresso. I didn't know exactly how long I would give Phil before heading back to the cabin but I figured it would be some hours.

After paying for my coffee, I began a slow stroll through the shelves before eventually ending up in the kids' section. Whenever I went to a bookstore, I always browsed the children's books. Yes, I know I'm technically an adult since I turned eighteen but I still found comfort in the books that had helped me fall asleep as a child. I still loved to see the pictures and read the simple words that held messages and morals I still carry to this day.

I looked over the titles and pulled some of my favorites before settling on a colorful rug in the corner that was scattered with huge pillows and cuddly teddy bears. The first book I picked up was _Love You Forever._ I sipped my coffee and read through the book slowly. The further I got into it, the angrier I got. Mothers _were_ supposed to love their children forever. No matter how old we got or how badly we behaved we were supposed to be loved by our mothers, if no one else, forever. Was Renee unaware of this fact?

No matter how many times I tried to convince myself I didn't care, deep down inside I knew I did. Renee had hurt me bad. No matter how many times she had made us pack up and completely restart our lives, I stayed with her, supported her, and loved her. Now she had left without me but I still found myself having to restart my life and it wasn't as easy as all the times I'd done it with her. I still had Phil but everything still felt different. Renee had always been my constant and now that I didn't have her anymore, everything seemed more foreign than any of the new places I'd had to adapt to before.

When I felt the lump forming in my throat, I took a long sip of my coffee, trying to swallow it down with the warm beverage. I pushed what used to be one of my childhood favorites away and opened another one. I was halfway through when a somehow familiar yet unfamiliar voice made me look up.

"I thought I was the only one who still read children's books."

I looked up to see a girl who couldn't be too much older than me standing a few feet away. She smiled when my eyes met hers. She came over and moving with all the grace in the world sat beside me before hugging her long legs to her chest. Her skin was pale beyond belief and she had bright molten gold eyes. Her long strawberry blonde hair fell down her back in cascading waves. She was outrageously beautiful and I realized her voice was familiar because it had the same musical lilt as Kate's. The girl had yet to introduce herself, but I would have bet my life she was one of Kate's sisters.

"I read them all the time. They're like security blankets," I said earning a smile from her.

"I know just what you mean," she replied. She held out her hand to me. "I'm Tanya. Kate's sister," she said.

"Bella," I shook her hand and gasped at how cold it was and she smiled apologetically in response.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't wearing any gloves," she said wrapping her arms back around her legs. "Kate told me you were alone so I came to find you and keep you company," she told me.

I smiled. If I wasn't sure I liked Kate before, I was sure now. I had thought I'd be fine alone but now that Tanya was here I realized I really did prefer to have someone with me. I'd been alone enough already.

"Thanks, but you know you don't have to stay here. I'm sure you have something better to do on a Saturday night," I said

She looked at me as if I'd started speaking Martian or something. "Better than sit here with my new friend and read children's books? Bella, please," she replied shaking her head as if I was being utterly absurd. I smiled and shrugged.

Tanya looked through the stack of books I'd brought over to the rug and selected a _Fancy Nancy _book. It was a series I liked more so for the crazy vibrant pictures and judging by the way Tanya ran her long elegant fingers over the illustration on the cover, I assumed this was true for her too.

"I love all the glitter," she murmured before opening the book. I picked up _Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day. _Tanya and I sat and read book after book. We didn't speak much but I really enjoyed her company. I was glad that Kate had called her and that Tanya agreed to come and stay with me. When we finally read through all the books, we gathered them up and put them back on the shelves.

I glanced at the clock on my cell phone and saw that we had been in the bookstore for a long time.

"It's been two hours, I wonder if Phil is done groping and mauling your sister," I said glancing over at Tanya as she chuckled and shook her head.

"No, the real question is whether _Kate_ is done groping and mauling your step-dad," she replied. "Actually you might want to call him soon and make sure he's alright," she laughed. The sound was like a chorus of bells and I was in awe of it. She stood up and offered her hand to help me stand as well. I took her hand and was surprised to find that it was just as cold as the first time I'd touched her. I didn't gasp this time and she didn't apologize.

"Let's give them another hour, before we call though. Do you want to browse around the shops some more? There's a really great little vintage clothing store on the next block," she suggested. I nodded my head excitedly. I was a huge fan of all things vintage. I followed her out of the bookstore and we started walking down the block together.

"So are you older or younger than Kate?" I asked already guessing she was younger but wanting to make conversation.

"Younger. I'm the youngest actually. Kate's the oldest which leaves my other sister Irina to be the middle child," she answered.

"I've always wanted sisters. I'm an only child and I used to have imaginary siblings instead of friends when I was a kid," I told her.

"I love my sisters. I can't imagine ever being without them," Tanya said and I could see the love she professed for her sisters on her face. I tried to remember a time when Renee had ever worn that expression when talking about me and came up with nothing. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. She clearly imagined being without me.


	3. Chapter 3

_**SM owns.**_

**_Thanks Mommakat!_**

* * *

_**TPOV**_

"Thanks for staying with me tonight. I had a really good time," Bella said as I helped her get her bags from the trunk of my silver Mercedes. After shopping around, I'd driven her back to the cabin she was staying at. It was a little after 2:00am and if Phil and Kate weren't done by now, tough luck. I could tell that Bella was tired and I knew that sleep was vitally important to humans.

"No problem, honey. I had a good time too. If you ever want to hang out just give me a call. I know a lot of great places around here," I told her. She smiled and nodded her head.

We'd exchanged numbers earlier in the evening and I found myself actually wanting to see her again before she left for Arizona. I'd been confused as to why Kate had called me to keep watch over some random human at first but I'd done it without question. After seeing Bella for myself, I understood Kate's request and fulfilled it happily.

As Bella walked up to the door, I watched her to make sure she got in alright but also took in my surroundings. I could hear Phil breathing slow and evenly inside. He was sleeping. I exhaled in relief that Bella would not have to endure wild moaning as she tried to rest tonight. I could also hear breathing from somewhere behind the house. A quick sniff at the air revealed the source.

"Kate?" I called in tones lower than Bella or any other human could hear.

"Yea, it's me. After Bella's in the house drive until you're out of sight and then wait for me. I'll ride home with you," my sister responded, also in low tones that only our ears could hear.

Bella stepped inside the cabin and turned back, giving me a wave and a smile before closing and locking the door behind her. I listened to her move around a while longer. When I heard a shower being turned on, I got in my car and did as Kate told me to. I stopped the car about a half a mile away and barely had to wait a second before Kate slid into the passenger seat.

Her eyes were alight and her smile giddy. Her typical "I was just fucked good" look. I snorted and shook my head at her. I thought about asking her how her night was but I already knew so I opted against it.

"Thanks for watching Bella for me. I just didn't feel right leaving her all alone," Kate said as I sped off toward home.

"I didn't mind. I have to admit I was confused at first but when I saw her in that bookstore...," I trailed off as I recalled how she looked sitting in the corner pouring over that book. I felt my still heart clench with emotion stronger than I'd ever felt for a human before.

"I know!" Kate exclaimed. We've been together so long that we rarely needed to actually complete a thought for the other to understand. "She's different and her blood! The scent rivals that only of my singer so many years ago. She barely said a word all night but I was so focused on her."

I nodded my head. "Exactly but it's so much more than that though," I said. "She's so sad, Kate. When I found her, she was in a bookstore fighting back tears. I could see that she was alone but I could also feel her _loneliness_. She's hurting," I murmured more to myself than to Kate who was listening and nodding beside me.

"At dinner she was quiet and shy. She kept tensing up though when I asked certain questions. Phil is her step-dad and I have no idea where her mother is," Kate told me.

I pulled up outside our house and cut the engine, wondering why they would travel without Bella's mother. I'd been around humans enough to know that was not normal.

Kate and I got out to together and made our way inside. We could hear music wafting from the living room where Irina lounged stretched out on her back on the couch. We were never big fans of television but always of music. It played almost constantly in our house. I smiled at tonight's selection. The Bird and the Bee, a cute little indie band that we'd recently discovered.

"Did you have fun babysitting?" Irina asked as she propped herself up on her elbows smirking at me.

"I did, actually," I said taking a seat on the floor facing the couch as Kate went upstairs to go shower. I quickly filled Irina in about Bella as Kate added in details about dinner. Though she was on the second floor and in the shower we could all still hear each other clearly.

Irina crossed her arms petulantly like the child she often behaved as. "I want to meet her!" she whined. I rolled my eyes in response.

"Then you should have come with me!" I retorted remembering how she had completely ignored me when I'd asked her to after getting Kate's call.

"Well how was supposed to know that babysitting the girl would be such a moving experience!" she huffed.

"Don't fret, my dear," Kate said as she reentered the living room and took a seat in an armchair. "Phil invited all three of us out to dinner tomorrow night. You'll meet her then and maybe we can find out about her mother."

"Really?" I asked more excited than I should have been. Irina quirked a brow at me but I just stuck my tongue out at her.

"Okay enough about Bella," Irina said before turning to Kate. "Tell me about _Phil," _she purred. Kate giggled girlishly and slumped back into her seat with a dreamy smile on her face.

"He seemed to be human but with stamina like that, I'm not so sure," she gushed. Irina squealed with delight ready for all the juicy details. I half listened as Kate regaled us but my mind was still mostly on Bella. Kate's story stretched on way past dawn as she rated Phil's performance and compared him to other men she'd been with. She had _definitely _enjoyed her time with him.

After Kate's story, we decided to go hunt. Irina hadn't fed in two weeks and Kate and I just went along for the sport. We left the cabin full speed into the forest behind our house. We started off all running together for about forty-five minutes but as the scent of a wolf caught our noses Kate and I fell back allowing Irina the first kill since she was the one that really needed to feed.

The wolf was gnawing on the bone of his own kill and was too preoccupied to notice us. Irina had crouched and pounced on him and he met his end with no knowledge of how it came. As Irina sank her teeth into it's neck I realized that the wolf was alone.

"How odd," I murmured.

Wolves rarely roamed alone. I sniffed at the air to see if his pack was not too far away and hoping they could be my meal. As I breathed in the air I was not only met by the scent of other wolves but also the smell of human blood. Kate caught the scent just as I did. Our eyes met and her eyes mirrored the terror that I felt, as a blood curdling scream sliced through the air.

"Oh my God!" I turned on my heel and took off in the direction of the sound with Kate right behind me.

_**BPOV**_

"What are you chicken" Phil goaded as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"No but I am smart!" I shot back. "Look at how dark it is in there. We won't be able to see anything anyway!"

Phil and I had gotten an early start. We'd had breakfast at another restaurant and then decided to go hiking on one of the easier trails. Much to my very sick satisfaction Phil woke up tired after his night with Kate but still wanted to get out in the air. We'd decided to choose one of the easier trails since Phil was a little worn out. As we started the hike though it turned out to be a little too easy.

Both Phil and I got bored with it quickly and decided to venture off the trail and into the surrounding wilderness. We'd brought along supplies in our back packs including compasses so we didn't worry about getting lost. About five miles away from the trail we stumbled across a cave that Phil wanted to explore.

It was pitch black inside and just gave me the creeps. My gut told me that going inside was a bad idea and I told Phil as much. He however had no qualms about it. After his attempts at begging had failed, he'd turned to teasing me to go in with him.

"That's why we have these handy little things called flashlights, sweetie pie," he replied with a goofy smile, waving his own in front of me.

"Phil if you want to go in there and live out some horrible bear attack scene from Animal Planet then be my guest but I...," my words were cut short as a deer came racing out of the cave straight into Phil. He screamed in pain as the deer's antlers cut into his face. He fell back in the snow as a pack of about five wolves came flying out after the deer.

I stood frozen with too many emotions to do anything. Shock had stunned me initially as I saw the deer. Horror gripped me as I instantly saw how the antlers mangled Phil's face and his agonized yell pierced through me. Fear consumed me as I realized that only one of the wolves kept after the deer. The other four stayed behind after setting their eyes on bigger prey.

I stood in utter disbelief and panic as I watched two wolves attack Phil. The sight of their teeth tearing into his flesh and the sound of his screams paralyzed me. I wanted to look away, help him, and scream all at the same time but my brain had shut down. I didn't even notice the other two remaining wolves until they were on me. Something sharp slashed into my side as something else tore into my shoulder. The pain jogged my brain and a scream ripped out of my throat.

_**TPOV**_

The scene before me was one of the most gruesome I'd ever witnessed but I took it in and assessed swiftly. Phil was gone. His body was completely mangled and ravaged. Bella on the other hand could be helped. We would have to move faster than we ever had but letting her die was not an option.

Kate lunged at the two wolves currently biting into her torso. The wolves let out a strangled yelp as she used her gift to electrocute them. I rushed to Bella pushing the scent of her sweet, sweet blood to the back of my mind. I scooped her into my arms and dashed through the trees trying to get her to a hospital.

Behind me I could here Irina reaching Kate and the other wolves. As I ran I assessed Bella's injuries. She was in worse shape than I'd originally thought and she'd lost so much blood. She was already growing cold in my arms.

I wasn't moving fast enough.

"Tanya she's not going to make it! She's hurt too badly!" Kate yelled from somewhere behind me. I knew that she was right but I just _had_ to try. Bella groaned in my arms and her big brown eyes locked with mine as tears trailed down her cheeks. An unexpected sob burst out of me, at the sight. Her eyes held some sort of silent plea that shook me to my core. What did she want?

Her weak hand clutched my shirt with what had to be all the strength she had left. "Please," she begged, her breath labored and her voice low.

I had no idea what she really wanted but that one word stopped me dead in my tracks and with no thought process at all I cradled her to my chest and sank my teeth into her neck.


	4. Chapter 4

_**SM owns.**_

**_Thanks Mommakat!_**

* * *

_**TPOV**_

Yet another tearless sob escaped me. I couldn't stop crying. I felt like a complete idiot. Why did I bite her? She was undoubtedly in more pain now than she had been before. I couldn't take my eyes away from her as she lay on the bed in our guest room. She was thrashing and screaming in pain, a pain that I still clearly remembered being in over four hundred years ago. I don't know why I thought this would help her. I had only stacked more pain on top of what she was already feeling.

I had been kneeling beside her bed for 62 hours with Irina beside me rubbing circles on my back trying to comfort me. Her attempts were futile though. I was so scared that Bella would hate me when her change was complete. The life we lived was not something that one should be forced into. She should have been given a choice and time to really think through her decision. I had given her none of that. I had been impulsive and foolish. She could have been pleading for any number of things but I was sure becoming a vampire was not one of them.

Kate had held her close the entire time. She'd bathed Bella after the venom had sealed all her wounds and put her in one of Irina's dresses since they were closest in size. I'd left Kate to take care of her because I was sure that I was the last person Bella wanted to be near.

"It'll be over soon, dearest," Kate cooed to her. "And when it is you'll never feel pain again. You will be changed and made better. Your mind and body will be stronger, indestructible. You'll be faster and all your senses will be enhanced. You will so beautiful, even more than you were before. You'll be like us, Bella. You'll be a vampire."

Kate had been repeating that every time Bella's screams quieted, trying to prepare her for what she would awaken to. We had no way of knowing if Bella heard her or not but if she could she wouldn't be so overwhelmed later.

_**BPOV**_

Burning.

I was burning and the pain was more than words could ever describe. I could feel it every where inside me, my bones, muscles, veins, tendons and even in my very blood. It coursed and blazed through me with a fierce searing vengeance.

I just wanted it to stop and knew that it would soon. Kate promised me that it would. I tried to focus on her soothing words, hoping that it would distract me from the pain. It didn't. I still hoped that her words were true though. Would I really never feel pain again? Would I be beautiful in the way she and Tanya were?

But would I also be a vampire?

When the pain finally began to subside, it did so at a glacial pace, torturing me with anticipation of it's complete departure. When the pain left my limbs, torso and head, it all seemed to concentrate in my chest. I could feel my heart pounding faster and harder than it ever had as it incinerated. And then all of a sudden it stopped.

I remained still as I reveled in the absence of the pain. It was the greatest feeling I'd ever experienced. I seemed to be able to feel everything in light of the pain being gone. I could feel every silken fiber I was sheathed in and the dust in the air as it grazed my body. I could feel my hair, just as silky as what I was wearing, on my face, arms and shoulders. Everything felt absolutely fantastic.

I could hear so much. All sounds were clear and distinct without being loud or overwhelming. I could hear the snow falling, breathing from three different bodies, ticking of clocks and the movement of birds and tiny animals outside.

The smells, while not all good, were still captivating. The air around me was floral, sweet, stale, woody, grassy, pungent, chemical, and musky. It was wonderful. Everything was so intense and I was taking in everything so quickly. I felt sort of exhilarated and so..._alive_!

"Bella?"

The sound of my name while musical and beautiful, scared me. My eyes snapped open and my body somehow launched itself into a corner. Everything was bright and clearer than it had ever been. I scanned the room I was in. I recognized Tanya and Kate instantly. There was another woman present and even though I had never met her, my mind labeled her as Irina all on it's own.

As I looked into their apprehensive faces, everything came crashing back to me. Renee. Alaska. Restaurant. Kate. Bookstore. Tanya. Shopping. Hike. Deer. Phil. Blood. Wolves. Phil. Blood. Wolves. Me. Tanya. Kate. Vampire?

A strange breathless groan came from my mouth. I slid down the corner my back was against and fisted my hands in my hair. Dim, bloody images swirled around in my head like a tornado. Phil had been killed right in front of me by rabid animals. Renee was gone and now I had no one.

Loneliness gripped me as an agonized shriek filled the room.

"Bella!"

Kate was kneeling in front of me in the next instant. Her arms wrapped around me as her hand stroked the back of my head.

"Please say something, sweetie. Tell me what's wrong," Kate begged. It was then that I realized that horrible shriek had come from me.

"I'm alone," I breathed the sound of my voice was foreign to me. The cadence was different, more fluid, smooth and musical. It confused me.

"No! You have us and we'll be here forever if you want us to be. You don't have to be alone ever again," she replied earnestly pulling away from me only slightly so that she could look into my eyes.

"But my mom. And Phil...,"

"I'm so sorry Bella. We wanted to save him but we just got there too late. I'm so sorry."

She pulled me into her chest again and held me tight. I couldn't help but feel how hard yet soft her skin was. It was like a satin sheet over a marble table. She smelled so good, like peaches, orchids, and fresh air. Then her words from before came to me.

"Vampire?"

I felt Kate stiffen and move away from me. She stood slowly and I did as well. I looked past her to Tanya whose face was a mask of sorrow and remorse. The girl I figured to be Irina, wore an expression full of worry and compassion. Behind both of them I could see a small pale angel faced girl. She looked just like me but infinitely more beautiful. I cocked my head in bewilderment just as the girl did the very same. We both took steps forward at the same time as well. Was she mimicking me? I hated when people did that. I started to get a little irritated with her as she frowned at me when I frowned at her.

Tanya and Irina moved aside and I gasped in shock. The other girl was me! I was looking into a mirror! I wanted to get a closer look and was at the mirror before I even realized I had moved. I placed my hand on the smooth glass of the mirror and gazed at my reflection. My skin matched that of the other women in the room. My body was still slender but just slightly more filled out, hips more rounded, breasts just a little perkier. I looked strong and toned. My hair was thicker, glossier and more rich in color. My lips fuller and redder...but not as red as my eyes!

"Oh God!" I gasped.

"Your eyes change Bella. After you've drank..." Kate began before I cut her off.

"What?" I roared whirling around to face her. "Blood? I will not hurt people! I will not kill anyone! I won't!"

"Bella we don't..." Kate began but I cut her off again.

"I'm a monster!"

"Only if you allow yourself to be!" Irina interjected loudly. Her sharp voice shocked me. It was so different from the soft way Kate spoke. Irina stepped to me and placed her hands on my shoulders. Her touch was more gentle than her tone.

"We don't kill humans. Some vampires do but not us. We can survive off the blood of animals. It's hard but it's possible. We do it and so can you. We are not monsters. Real vampires are not what you see on TV and in movies. If you make an effort to maintain your humanity then you can live a life not entirely different than you did before. Only your body has changed Bella. You're still you," Irina said, her voice more tender than it had been before.

I didn't know how true her words were but they soothed me. I looked into her gold eyes trying to find some sign of deception but found none. She smiled warmly and pulled me into her arms. I automatically hugged her back, just needing to be comforted.

"We can guide you. Help you and show you all the wonders this life has to offer," Kate said now standing beside me and Irina. "I'm sorry that your family isn't here and I know they can never be replaced but we can help dull the ache of your losses. Family is not just something you're born into. You can choose your family and if you choose to let us be your sisters we'll stay at your side for eternity. Will you give us a chance to do that, Bella?"

I was scared, confused, sad, and most of all alone. I'd just met these women but instantly I'd felt a connection to them. They seemed to care about me and in the short time I'd known them they had offered me more comfort than anyone else ever had. I was clinging to Irina for dear life and I felt safe and oddly enough...loved.

I was a vampire now just like them and I had no one else in the world. They were offering me things that I'd never had when I was human. This could be a new and happy start for me, all I had to do was accept it.

I wanted to give a verbal response, but my throat was constricted with too much emotion so I simply nodded my head.

The tension in the room quickly dissipated and I finally stepped away from Irina. She and Kate were smiling at me and I couldn't help but smile back. I looked over at Tanya and saw that she was still frowning.

"Tanya?"

She looked up at me and choked out a sob. She rushed to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm so sorry for doing this to you Bella. But Kate and Irina are right. It's not as bad as you must imagine. This life has so many perks and wonderful benefits. Please don't hate me, Bella. I promise I'll show you how great this can be!"

I hugged her back and tried to calm her the way Irina had calmed me. She was so sad and she didn't need to be. I had made my decision and I planned on making the best of it. My life before had been sad enough. This was my new start.

"I don't hate you Tanya. I'm just scared and confused. Please don't worry. If you promise me that everything will be fine then I'll believe you," I said.

Tanya nodded her head frantically. "I do promise."

"Then I believe you."

A smile filled with relief and joy covered her face. She took my hand and led me to the door.

"First thing's first then. You need to hunt."


	5. Chapter 5

_**BPOV**_

"Wait!" I squealed making Tanya halt. "You have to tell me how to do it! I've never done this before."

She smiled at me and shook her head. "It doesn't need to be taught. Trust me. It's all in the instincts. As soon as you smell the blood you'll know what to do. Kate and Irina are going to run ahead of us and find a spot where there are no humans. We'll follow their scent out and your instincts will do the rest," she told me.

Irina and Kate left the room moving faster than I ever thought a person could move. They were literally gone in the blink of an eye. I turned to Tanya in slack jawed awe.

"Will I be able to move that fast?" I asked.

"Faster. Since you're what we call a newborn and you're still running on your own human blood, you'll be faster, stronger and a little moodier," she explained.

I sighed and tried to wrap my head around what she was saying. I knew that I was a vampire because I could tell the difference from how I used to be but I was still in disbelief. Vampires just didn't exist. I wondered what else was out there but before I could ask Tanya wrapped her arm around my shoulders.

"Come on, let's go. After you've hunted we'll give you a crash course in Vampire 101," she said. I nodded my head and followed her. As we left the bedroom I took in the rest of the house. It was huge. I don't know what I expected but it surely wasn't this.

The upstairs hall was overlooking what I guessed was the living room. The house was fit for Royalty. The walls were all in shades of white, beige and yellow. There was gold gilding everywhere without being gaudy. Marble floors were covered with what had to be priceless rugs, beautiful paintings and grand flower arrangements were scattered throughout. There was so much light thanks to all the windows with their fancy drapery. This was not a house one would expect to find in the middle of Alaska. It was elegant and pristine.

"Do you think it's too much," Tanya asked nervously as she watched me take in the beauty around me. "We decorated it like the palaces back home in Russia."

"No, it's not too much. It's breathtaking. I've never been in a place this luxurious," I whispered.

"This is your home now," Tanya replied. "I hope that you can be comfortable here."

"Trust me, I will be," I said. It definitely looked like a palace and knowing that I would be living here made me feel regal. I stood a little straighter and held my head a little higher. Tanya giggled at the posture adjustment and led me out of the palace-house.

"You'll love running. It's so exhilarating!" she gushed as we walked to the edge of the forest behind the house. "Now, can you smell Kate and Irina?" she asked.

I inhaled the air and found that I did smell them along with everything else outside. Tanya urged me forward with a hand on my lower back. "Run. Follow it."

I nodded my head and took off after the scent. I gasped in shock at how fast I was moving. I could feel the wind on my skin and blowing back my hair as I went. I was surprised that I could still see my surroundings just as clearly as if I was standing still and nothing escaped my eyes. I could see every bug, animal, leaf, twig, and flower. I was more agile and graceful than I had ever been. I was moving at this blinding speed, not crashing into anything, seeing everything, and still following Kate and Irina's scent with no problem. I giggled at the thrill of it all.

When the scent led me to Kate and Irina themselves, I stopped and threw my arms around Kate who was closest to me. "That was amazing!" I screeched. She laughed but hugged me back.

"I'm glad you liked it," she said amused at my enthusiasm. I kept giggling because I just felt so alive and free. I felt like I could do anything! Tanya appeared behind me with a stunned expression.

"Bella I've never seen anyone move so fast in all my years!" she breathed. "And that was more than just you being a newborn. That was just crazy!" she exclaimed.

I felt my smile widen with pride. This being a vampire stuff was better than I could have imagined. If everything else was...

Fire exploded in my throat and a feral sound resembling a lion's roar ripped out of me in response. I could smell something in the air. Something sweet yet tangy and I wanted it. The smell was getting closer and now I could hear it. It was throbbing in my ears and it was wet and intensified the burn in my throat. I hated the smell for causing me pain but I wanted it! I had to find it and taste the source.

I forgot all about the others and took off after the smell moving as fast as I could. I stopped when I spotted a bear lapping up water from a stream. We were facing each other but he didn't see me. I scaled the nearest tree and moved quickly across a branch until I was right over the bear. I made sure not to make a sound as to alert him to my presence. I inhaled deeply taking in the aroma again. I _needed_ it!

I dropped down out of the tree and into the stream right before the bear. I was drenched but I couldn't have cared less. Before it could react I pushed it back so that it was on it's back. It let out a loud growl as it hit the ground and I pounced on top of him. I could feel his paws clawing at my back but it didn't hurt me. I could barely even feel it at all. I did feel it's heart beating through it's chest into mine though. It was a lovely feeling. I opened my mouth wide and bit into it's neck. My teeth sliced through as easily as hand through water.

Blood gushed into my mouth and the taste consumed me. I moaned in a way that would have embarrassed me if I was not so wrapped up in the pleasure of the taste. I pressed my face further into it's neck. If I let one drop go to waste it would be the biggest mistake of my life. I had to have _all_ of it. It relieved the scorching heat from my throat and I couldn't drink fast enough.

Eventually the bear ran dry and the burn returned. I pushed off the bear enraged that the burn was back. I needed more. I took off into the woods again in in search of something else to drink. After a moose and a small herd of deer, I felt sloshy and the fire in my throat was all but gone. I didn't know how far I'd traveled away from Tanya, Kate, and Irina but I found my way back to them easily.

I found them lounging in the snow lying on their bellies side by side and looking through some magazine. They all smiled up at me as they heard my approach.

"How'd it go?" Irina asked. "We stayed behind because we usually get territorial on hunts. You would have attacked us if we didn't give you your space."

I didn't doubt her words. I had been inexplicably angry while I was hunting. I probably would have attacked them. "I got a bear, a moose, and four deer."

"Feeling sloshy?" Kate asked.

I rubbed my stomach and nodded before dropping down to lie on the other side of Tanya.

"You didn't even get dirty," Kate smiled proudly. "On my first hunt I got blood everywhere! I'm not even sure I even actually drank anything!"

We all laughed and I rolled onto my back. I was lying in snow and found it to be comfortable. It was the same temperature as me and it smelled wonderful. It was smooth and maybe even a little fluffy on my skin.

"So tell me everything about being a vampire. What else can I do?" I asked glancing over at them.

"The most important thing is what you can't do. You can never let the humans find out about us. There's a governing coven of vampires in Italy that will execute you if you do," Tanya said.

"They'll tear your body apart and burn the pieces. That's the only way we can be killed and if no one kills you, you don't die," Irina interjected. "We don't get older, we don't get sick, and we don't change at all physically other than our eyes. Animal blood will make your eyes gold like ours. Human blood makes them red but yours will change soon enough if you stick to feeding off animals so don't worry. And they turn black when we are either thirsty, furious, or very _aroused,_" she said the last part waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

I giggled and Kate nudged Irina playfully with her elbow. Not letting the humans know about us seemed like a given. Of course I wouldn't tell anyone! They filled me in about the Volturi and I listened with rapt attention. They sounded pretty badass.

"So wait, what about these special powers? How come we don't all have one!" I asked feeling a little disgruntled.

"Because some vampires are just destined to be boring," Kate sighed looking between Tanya and Irina with mock remorse. Irina smacked her lips and pushed Kate's shoulder as Tanya rolled her eyes.

"Kate here has a little special power of her own. She can make you feel as if you've been electrocuted," Tanya explained.

I shot up sitting in an upright position. "Really?"

Kate nodded her head with a smug smirk on her face. "Want to feel it? I promise I'll use a very low voltage," she said sitting up as well.

"Kate no! No matter how low a voltage you claim to use, the shit hurts!" Tanya snapped.

I loved Tanya for trying to protect me but I kind of wanted to feel it. I couldn't believe any of this was possible and I just wanted to experience all that I could.

"How long will it hurt?" I asked.

Tanya and Irina looked at me as if I was crazy but I ignored them and focused on Kate.

"Just for a second. It only lasts while I'm touching you and I'll just tap your hand really quickly," she replied.

I took a deep breath and extended my hand to her. She tapped my finger and while I felt something I didn't really feel a shock.

"Do it again," I said. "I didn't really feel it."

Kate knitted her brows and tapped me again letting her fingers linger a little longer. Again I felt something, but it wasn't a shock.

"Are you sure this is supposed to hurt?" I asked.

Kate glanced quickly at Tanya and Irina before grasping my hand in hers and looking me directly in my eye. It still didn't hurt. What I did feel was something like a thin warm bubble wrap tightly around my entire body. It wasn't painful and in fact it felt good, like a hug or something.

"You don't feel anything at all?" Tanya asked looking between me and Kate.

I shook my head and told her what I did feel. Kate let go of my hand and grinned excitedly at me.

"You must have a gift of your own. Some kind of shield, maybe. I've never met anyone who didn't feel me before besides Renata from the Volturi and she's a shield too!" Kate gushed.

"A shield? You mean I might be special?" I asked feeling the beginnings of a smile on my lips.

Kate shook her head still grinning wildly, "Might? No. You are _definitely_ special. I wonder if you can project..."


	6. Chapter 6

_**BPOV**_

I smiled at my reflection. Gold. My eyes had changed, slowly going from burgundy, to poppy red, to flaming orange, and now _finally_ gold. I had waited three months and I was practically bouncing with joy. Tanya came up behind me and rested her chin on my shoulder.

"Beautiful," she murmured.

I smiled and continued to gaze at our golden orbs. Given, this was not a very normal eye color but it would go over well with the humans, better than the red at least. I was excited because tonight I would be venturing further than the yard and forest surrounding our house. Tonight we were going out.

After three months on what seemed like house arrest, I had learned a lot thanks to Tanya, Kate, and Irina. They'd taught me new things daily, about singers, immortal children, more about the Volturi, their maker Sasha, and how to project my shield. It had been hard at first but now I could shield without even thinking, stretching it in a seventy foot radius around my body. I learned to maintain a human pace and to control my strength so that when I got out in public again I wouldn't draw more attention to myself than I already would given my not entirely natural appearance.

The first time I saw myself in the sun had been shocking yet amazing. I had danced in the sun shamelessly admiring myself. I was a glittering, shimmering beautiful supernatural being. I couldn't help but be a little vain in the moment. The girls had joined in my sun dancing and for about an hour we were nothing but a bunch of silly kids prancing around like fools.

Things got better every day seemed like. They praised me for how quick I learned, how controlled I was, and how focused I was. Apparently this was not normal for a vampire so young but I wasn't so sure how controlled I really was. I had not been around humans this entire time and I had no idea how I would behave when I finally got a whiff of blood that was supposedly a gazillion times better than animal's blood. Irina had assured me that they were grooming me to abstain the exact way Sasha had taught them how and that it would be easy as pie.

Today the house was a flurry of excitement. The girls were excited about my "debut" as they called it. Luckily the attack of Phil and I had been hushed up by the media. They did not want to scare off all the tourists by making a big deal about it. They'd found Phil's body while I was still in the changing process and I was presumed dead since my blood was found on the scene. I wasn't quite sure how I felt about absence of media coverage. Admittedly Phil and I had wandered further into the woods than we should have, but what if someone else decided to do the same? Didn't people deserve a warning?

On the other hand, if our pictures had been splashed across every newspaper in town I wouldn't be able to go out tonight because I would definitely be recognized and it would be very hard to explain how I got attacked by wolves but was now unscathed and alive without any medical attention.

"Have you decided what you're going to wear?" Tanya asked, pulling away from me and plopping down on my bed. I sighed and turned away from the mirror.

"No, not yet," I said stepping inside my huge closet. Irina and Tanya had acted fast in stocking up on clothes and accessories for me. I'd gone out hunting one day by myself leaving behind an empty closet and returned to an overflowing one. I suspected that Irina got tired of me ruining all her dresses on my hunting trips. I wasn't messy but sometimes the animals didn't go down without a fight. While I was unharmed by their attempts, the clothes often were.

"I say that grey backless dress with the haltered neckline," Kate appeared suddenly beside me, grabbing the dress she was talking about.

I held it against my body and turned to the floor to ceiling mirror in the closet. I nodded after only a glance. I really didn't care what I wore. I just wanted to be out doing something fun. Kate was already dressed in a barely there purple dress and gold stiletto heels.

"Make it snappy," she called over her shoulder as she selected the rest of my outfit giving me strappy black heels and simple diamond studs. "I want to get to the guys before they get drunk," she said.

I dressed as fast as I could and went to fix up my hair in a tousled bun with a few tendrils hanging down. I applied a small amount of lip gloss and mascara before meeting the girls in the foyer.

Irina whistled as I approach and shook her shimmy. "If no one else offers to take you home tonight, I will," she purred at me.

I rolled my eyes and pushed her out the door. "Let's just go already!"

We all piled into Kate's silver BMW and sped off. We cranked the music and sang along to all the songs. I was all giggly and hyper with anticipation during the ride. Just being in a car made me happy. I found myself worrying less and less about how I would react to the humans. I felt comfortable with my girls and I knew if I got into trouble they would help me.

Forty-five minutes later we pulled past a club. It must have been a popular one because there was a line around the block and I could here the music pounding from inside a mile away.

"Okay B, stop breathing," Tanya said and I complied immediately. My nerves instantly returned but she was quick to soothe me.

"Just relax," she said placing an encouraging hand on my shoulder. "There's a whole experience to be had tonight," she grinned.

I nodded my head. Kate drove around the block and parked on the street. We got out and started walking around to the club at a slower than human pace. Tanya snaked her arm around my shoulders and began speaking low so that only we could hear.

"Vampires are beautiful, there's no denying that. We know it and the humans know it," she began in a tone that was low and seductive. "Our beauty is generic in a way. Greater than what humans can hope for but still common, it's not entirely special," she said.

"Now humans on the other hand have a beauty that is precious, like diamonds. They are so much different from us. Their beauty is in their vitality, in the way that they change and transform before our very eyes," she breathed. "Look at him," she said nodding to a passing man.

He was tall and muscular. He had creamy skin and dark hair. He was extremely handsome with sharp features and deep set pale blue eyes. I could see his blood pulsing beneath his skin and though I could not smell it, I knew I wanted it.

"He's warm and alive, pulsing and rare," she said as we reached the club. We bypassed the line and were quickly granted access as Kate winked at the doorman and tossed her hair over her shoulder. The music inside was loud and I could feel it as it vibrated the floor.

We were surrounded by humans but I kept my breath held. I couldn't take my eyes off them. I could see their blood pulsing fast and tantalizing. Tanya led me to a corner as Kate and Irina slipped away.

"Listen to their hearts," Tanya instructed. "Each heart beat is unique. Not exactly the same as the other. They are so rare, Bella. While we are here to stay they could be gone at any moment and will never be again. They are fragile and hold a beauty that they are oblivious to. Only we can see how special they really are. Only we can cherish them like they should be."

She was right. They _were_ beautiful, unique, and oblivious. I was entranced as I watched them. It was a sight to behold.

"Now breathe, Bella."

I inhaled and Tanya's hold on me tightened. The smell of blood in the air was so thick and tempting. It burned my throat and I was crazed with the need to quench my sudden thirst but Tanya was holding me tight. I could have thrown her off me easily but instead I chose to keep stone still.

"You want it, right?" she purred in my ear. I nodded my head and swallowed back venom, whimpering as the burn persisted. "But do you really want to destroy that beauty? Steal the precious life that will then be gone forever, forever out of your reach?" she asked but didn't wait for my answer before continuing. "You can savor it Bella. You can partake in that beauty, in that liveliness, in a way that will be pleasurable to both parties involved. Their taste is on their very skin, you don't need the blood, their life in their very touch. Just go and feel them and let them feel you. But be gentle, B, they're so fragile. You can hurt them so easily, be tender and cherish them. You're the only one that can worship their beauty like it should be"

She gently pushed me forward into the dancing crowd and Irina, who appeared out of no where, clasped her hand around my wrist. She pulled me into the crowd and led me to the center, to Kate who was standing there with the guy who we passed outside, but smiling at me.

"Cherish him, Bella," Irina whispered as she pushed me to him and Kate pushed him to me.

He smiled at me and grabbed my hand. The second our hands met I could feel his blood pulsing, feel his heat beating against the still coldness of my own hand. His heart was pounding fast with adrenaline. He was beautiful, soft, and delicate. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me flush against him as he swayed and rocked to the music. I stared into his blue eyes as I lifted my hand to touch his face, the tiny hairs and pores made for an interesting feel, like an intricate design embedded on his flesh. My thirst was quickly forgotten as I swayed with him.

I could still smell him though and the more we danced, the hotter he got, and the more potent the scent of his blood became. My eyes caressed his neck and I wanted to taste. Tanya said that I could, I just couldn't bite. I had to be gentle with him. I had to make him last, I had to savor him.

I placed my head on his shoulder and inhaled deeply. Before I knew what I was doing, my tongue was sliding across his collarbone. Salty. Sweet. Hot. Delicious.

He gasped in response and pulled away from me. He stared into my eyes before pulling me off the dance floor and out a back door that opened up to an alley. I was excited to be alone with him. His scent was no longer mingled with the others, it was more concentrated and distinct.

I pushed him against the brick wall, reminding myself to be tender. He would last longer.

"Tell me your name," I whispered as I pressed myself against him. I could feel his warmth through all the clothes. Throbbing and vivacious. He smelled like the sea and musk but with sweet undertones. Wonderful.

"Dominic," he whispered as he pushed my hair away from my face and bent to kiss my neck but that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to taste him too. "You're so beautiful," he murmured against my neck and I shuddered as his warm breath grazed my skin. His big hot hands traveled up my bare back and I hissed at his fiery touch.

"Kiss me."

He complied immediately and I opened my mouth as soon as his plump lips made contact. He was mouthwatering.

"Bella, honey, it's time to go now," Tanya said. I was surprised that I had not heard her approach but I still ignored her. His kiss tasted too good and I needed more. She could go home if she wanted to, but I wasn't done. Seconds later three pairs of hands pulled me away. I could feel a growl rumbling deep in my chest ready to rip out of me but Kate rubbed my back soothingly.

"Savor him, B. You did so well. Now you can come back to him whenever you want to. He's yours to cherish, but that's enough for tonight," she whispered low enough so that my Dominic couldn't hear.

Irina gave him a card and smiled apologetically at him. "Sorry, honey, but we've got to go. Her name and number's on there. Give her a call," she said. And with that I was quickly led out of the alley. I kept glancing back at Dominic. He was smiling as he watched us walk away so I added a little extra swing in my hips for him.

We were all laid out on the living room floor in our pajamas, as talked and laughed about our night. It had passed so quickly but they assured me that it was better to start out slow. I was controlled but it was better to be safe than sorry. I wholly agreed. I didn't want to hurt my Dominic.

"They call us Succubus, but I always thought that it just sounds so...derogatory," Kate said.

"It does," I agreed.

"Fuck that label," Irina interjected.

"Always so eloquent," Tanya sighed with exaggerated fondness as she smiled at Irina.

I giggled and laid my head in Kate's lap and she immediately began running her fingers through my hair. We were listening to some girly bubble gum music and I found myself feeling a little giddy. I had bonded so quickly with all of them. I was still sad about Phil and I missed him everyday but I could not bring myself to regret coming to Alaska. I had lost and gained so much at the same time. There was love, support, fun, and wonder here. Most importantly though, there was a family connection. Kate, Tanya, and Irina were my sisters.

"How did you guys even get him to come to the club? He was going in the opposite direction when we passed him," I said looking up at Kate.

"Easy. We just told him _you_ were waiting for him and he practically ran to the club," Kate shrugged.

"I was really proud of you out there too, B. He was under some sort of spell. I'm surprised he hasn't called already!" Tanya exclaimed.

I laughed and rolled my eyes but really I couldn't wait to see him again.

"Wait until you actually feel him _inside _of you though. It goes beyond pleasure," Irina said.

I froze at this comment and they all noticed. "What's wrong, Bella?" Kate asked.

"I'm...um...I've never had sex before," I admitted, knowing that if I could blush, I would have. Clearly all of them had, had plenty of sex before and probably thought me lame for not having any. There was a beat of silence before Irina spoke up

"No biggie," she shrugged. "My first was with a human after my change. He was wonderful and I loved him so much. His name was Thomas and I met him in London a little over 800 years ago. I was with him for five years. He was my best friend and I even told him I was a vampire. I was going to turn him and marry him but he died suddenly in an accident before I got the chance," she told me.

Her shoulders slumped as she got a far off look in her eyes. Irina was always so happy and bubbly that it broke my heart to see her sad. I glanced at Kate and Tanya and they were saddened by the memory as well. I reached over and gave Irina's hand a squeeze that I hoped was comforting. When she smiled at me in thanks it didn't reach her eyes but she shook her shoulders as if she was going to physically shake off her sorrow.

"Whatever. Let's talk about boys some more. We were having such a good time. Let's not ruin it," she said. "You don't have to have sex with them. There are so many forms of pleasure that aren't intercourse. You'll learn that soon enough," she winked.

And just like that she was back to herself. "Have you guys ever been with a vampire?" I asked.

"Of course! The sex is just as good but different that's all," Irina shrugged.

"Oh my God!" Kate gasped smiling wickedly at Tanya. "Bella has to get acquainted with the _rest_ of the family."

I looked between them with knitted brows. They had never told me about any other vampires that lived here.

"What rest of the family?" I asked.

"There are other vampires that live like us in a little town called Forks in Washington. The Cullens. We've known them forever and they're like family to us," Kate said.

"Well most of them are," Irina chimed in, smiling the same wicked smile at Tanya as Kate was. "There is one Cullen in particular that gets Tanya all hot and bothered. Wait until you see them together, B. It's the most ridiculous game of cat and mouse ever known to man," Irina said.

"Shut up!" Tanya squealed grabbing a throw pillow off the couch and chucking it at Irina who easily dodged it.

Kate tapped my shoulder, prompting me to sit up so that she could move. She got up and shot to the phone and quickly dialed a number. She began speaking to someone named Carlisle and telling him about me. After a few minutes she hung up and stared directly at Tanya.

"They'll be here in two weeks."


	7. Chapter 7

_**BPOV**_

Running never got old. I would do it all day, if I could. I wasn't going as fast as I would have liked because I was keeping pace with Tanya. We were running to my spot, a place I'd found one time while hunting and declared it as mine. I went there when I needed to think or just to see something beautiful for a while. I sometimes invited the girls to come with me when I needed to talk but most of the time I liked to come alone.

It was a certain point along the Kasilof River where there was a tree with a low branch stretching out above the water. I could sit there for hours on end gazing at the deep blue of the water, watching the fish swim around beneath, or staring at the mountain on the other side.

It was quite far from our home but I enjoyed the long run to get there. When we finally arrived and climbed into the tree, we each chose a branch to relax on. I, of course, chose the one hanging over the water. Tanya chose one just a few feet above me. I took a deep breath, taking in the mountain air and the smell of the fresh water. My whole body relaxed and I closed my eyes to just revel in the calm and peaceful atmosphere.

"I can't wait until he gets here," Tanya said.

"Me either. I can't imagine you going crazy over a guy. I'm very intrigued," I replied.

"It's just that he's so special, B," she crooned.

"Well tell me about him. I don't even know his name."

"_Edward_."

I had to open my eyes and look up at her. She said his name like a prayer. Her tone was soft and reverent. "Bella he's beautiful and I know that because he's a vampire he has no choice but to be, but he is the most beautiful vampire I've ever seen. I've seen a lot of vampires Bella and he makes all others look like big piles of monkey poo."

An unexpected laugh bubbled out of me shaking my whole body. "I can't believe you just said monkey poo!" I laughed.

She giggled with me and rolled onto her stomach and straddled the branch so that she was looking down at me. "Well it's true! You have to see him to understand, because I'm not exaggerating at all. And it's more than just the looks, he's brilliant, selfless, talented, and _good_. He's so loyal to his family and loves so hard and with his whole heart, Bella. He plays and composes these phenomenal piano pieces," she said. "The piano that we have at home, I bought it just for him, so that he could play whenever he's here. Bella, I just can't wait until you meet him. I just _know_ you'll love him."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, more than that I couldn't believe who I was hearing it from. Since I had joined the family, Tanya had been with five different guys. I had never seen her in action but I knew from the stories she told that she was a love em and leave em type of girl. Irina and Kate usually stayed with a guy for a while but not Tanya. I never thought that I would hear her gushing over a guy like this.

"Oh my God," I finally replied incredulously. "Tanya you _really_ like him."

Tanya stared down at me with a blank expression. "Ya think?" she said sarcastically.

"I've just never heard you talk like this, before. I think I'm a little weirded out."

"Bella, I'm being serious here!" she whined.

"Okay, okay!" I said putting my hands up in surrender to let her know that I was ready to continue our seriousness. "But Tanya if you feel like that why aren't you two together?" I asked.

She sighed and turned again so that I was looking up at her back. I hadn't missed the forlorn look in her eyes though.

"It's just like Irina said! We've been playing this ridiculous game of cat and mouse for fifty years. He runs so hot and cold, B. One day he'll be all over me and saying the sweetest things, and the next day he'll be distant and standoffish," she said.

"Fifty years! Tanya why the hell are you still bothering with this guy! You could have any guy you want and you're pining for this prick?" I exclaimed. I knew that Tanya was old as dirt and that fifty was probably nothing to her but to me it was a long ass time.

"He's not a prick! He's perfect!" she screeched. "We don't see each other that often but each time it gets better for us. He'll get there Bella and I'm willing to wait until he does!"

"Who are you? Am I still talking to Tanya of the Denali coven?"

"Bella I'm going to chalk your attitude up to the fact that you've never met him and therefore cannot possibly understand," Tanya snapped and jumped out of the tree.

I couldn't help but laugh again. She was behaving so unTanyalilke. She grumbled unintelligibly as she hit the ground and took off back toward home.

"I'm sorry Tanya! You know I love you! I can't wait to meet the undeserving object of your affections!" I called out to her. She didn't reply but I knew she heard me.

Despite my less than sympathetic response to her story, I knew that Tanya's feelings for this guy ran deep and I truthfully couldn't wait to meet this Edward Cullen.

_**EPOV**_

Coming to see the Denali Coven was always a nerve-wracking thing for me. I knew that I would have to deal with Tanya's advances but I couldn't be mad at her. I hadn't consistently shown her that they were unwelcome. Living with three perfectly matched couples who were so completely and devastatingly in love was hard for me. I had to listen to their loving thoughts and see their salacious memories all the while I remained alone.

Tanya was beautiful, smart, and fun. I wanted what my family had, I wanted it bad and Tanya wanted me. I knew that I didn't love her the way that my family loved their mates but sometimes I wondered if I just gave her a chance could we have something close to what everyone else had. She was wonderful and I could come up with no reason as to why I wasn't in love with her other than the fact that I just wasn't. So sometimes I welcomed her advances and even encouraged them so that I could maybe force or will myself into feeling what she felt for me.

As we pulled up in front of the palatial pad that was home to the Denali women, I sighed and slowly got out of the car. I didn't move any further though and neither did Alice or Jasper. The others paused also to see what was stopping us.

_"What's wrong Edward?" _came Carlisle's thoughts as I stared in confusion at the house.

"Something's not right," I whispered.

"I see us walking into an empty house," Alice murmured. "But I clearly hear them in there breathing."

"I don't feel them," Jasper said grabbing Alice's elbow and pulling her behind him.

"And I can't hear any thoughts," I added. "Something is wrong."

Jasper's mind was already preparing for some kind of battle. He didn't know what was inside the house but his instincts told him that it was dangerous. Alice was just frustrated that her visions were offering her nothing but us going into an empty house and then talking to thin air. I wasn't sure whatever was inside was dangerous but I had this all consuming urge to just get inside. I was oddly drawn to the house.

"Maybe we should spread out. Emmett you and Rose go around back..," Jasper began but was cut off by Kate who burst out of the front door.

"Everyone calm down. Nothing's wrong, it's just Bella," she said smiling at us smugly.

"What's going on," Jasper asked still cautious and standing in front of Alice protectively.

"Bella's a shield. She can block other gifts. She has all of us under it right now," Kate explained

That was all Carlisle needed. He began to quickly make his way inside towing Esme in along with him. His thoughts were filled with curiosity about this new powerful vampire. We all followed behind. I had to admit, I was pretty curious too. My gift had never been rendered ineffective like this before.

We followed Kate to the living room. Seeing the Denali's but not hearing their thoughts like I usually did was unsettling and it made me feel a little on edge. Jasper and Alice's thoughts revealed they were feeling the same.

_"I don't like this, Edward. Would it be rude to ask this girl to stop shielding. I mean we clearly aren't here to hurt her or her sisters," _Alice thought.

I just shrugged in response because I didn't know the girl and didn't know how she would respond.

"Bella that's Carlisle and his wife Esme. Rosalie and her husband Emmett. Alice and her husband Jasper, and that is Edward," Tanya said pointing to everyone as she said their names and I didn't miss the extra emphasis she put on mine. "Everyone, this is Bella."

Luckily no one caught my ragged gasp. She was magnificent. She was petite but had nicely rounded hips and perfect breasts. Her silken mahogany hair fell down her back and shoulders. Her lips were plump and cherry red. Her limbs were long, slender, and looked deceptively delicate because since she was a vampire I knew that she was anything but. Her huge golden doe eyes sparkled as she smiled widely making her way down the line of my family shaking their hands.

"It's wonderful to finally meet you. I've heard great things about you," Bella said to Carlisle as she clasped his hand in both of hers. The sound of her voice was like the tinkle of silver wind chimes and made my stomach churn in a way that was not at all unpleasant.

I watched as she hugged Esme, shook Rosalie's hand and then moved to Emmett. I gasped again as Emmett pulled her into a tight hug that lifted her off the ground and the room filled with her joyous childlike laughter. I instantly deemed it as my favorite sound in the world. She gave Alice a hug and gasped as she shook Jasper's hand. She held it longer than the other's as she stared into his face. Her eyes filled with awe as she stepped closer to him. Jasper just smiled shyly. He was used to all kinds of reactions as people saw his scars for the first time.

Bella raised her hand and brought it close to Jasper's face but quickly pulled it away and bowed her head as if embarrassed. She was adorable.

"I'm sorry," she murmured and released his hand. "I hope I haven't offended you," she said.

"Not at all, Bella. I take everyone by surprise," he assured her. She grinned at him and let her eyes roam his face for a few more seconds before moving on. I realized that I was the only one left. She moved to me and as her eyes met mine, I was instantly lost, drowning in their molten depths.

She extended her hand to me and I quickly took it. My hand swallowed her tiny one and I gasped yet again as a million volts of electric desire ignited in my palm and up my arm. I _wanted_ her.

"Edward," she said nodding her head respectfully at me. She let go of my hand and turned her back to me.


	8. Chapter 8

_**SM owns**_

**_Thank you Mommakat!_**

* * *

_**BPOV**_

_How soon was too soon?_

This was the question that had been running through my mind for the last hour. _He_ was sitting three feet away from me and if I didn't get out soon, I would explode. I had been trying really hard to give Carlisle my full attention. He was such a nice man and so interested in me and my shield, but ever since his son had walked in I couldn't really focus on anyone else for too long. I was on edge and I couldn't sit still. I couldn't control the movement of the rest of my body because I was wholly concentrated on keeping my eyes off _him_. I was fidgeting nonstop and that was not normal at all for a vampire. No one had seemed to be paying much attention to it though until Kate finally did.

"Bella, honey, are you okay?" she asked me.

"No I'm not!" I replied, my voice strained and abnormally high pitched. I had came up with my lie a long time ago. I had just been waiting for the right time to use it. "It's just that I'm not used to being around so many gifts at one time, all pressing into my shield. It's making me uncomfortable. Please forgive me but I need a break."

I didn't wait for a reply before I launched myself out the front door. I ran as fast as I could until I was back at my spot. I pressed my back against the tree and tried to slow my breathing and stop my hands from shaking.

The second Edward Cullen stepped into my house, I'd felt this odd but powerful pull to him. Tanya had been very right, he was the most beautiful being on this planet. His chiseled face, full lips, and chaotic copper hair, made my knees weak. He was tall, a little over six feet and muscular without being bulky. He had moved with such purpose, confidence, and grace. He was perfect...for me. But that was where the problem came in.

He couldn't be perfect for me. He had to be perfect for Tanya. My sister. My best friend. My teacher. My creator. I couldn't have him. It had taken me a second to take in his beauty and my desire for him and then another second to realize that I could never take actions to attain him. The third and final second was used to sober myself up. I couldn't let Tanya see me slobbering over the only man that she had ever loved.

I had greeted his family making sure that I was warm and gracious to each of them. My only flub was with Jasper, but come on. Almost every inch of visible skin was covered in scars. I didn't even know that vampires were capable of having scars. I had stared at him forgetting all about manners and reached to touch his skin to see how it would feel but then quickly remembered myself.

When I had finally gotten to Edward, I had to use every bit of my will power not to wrap myself around him, press my nose to his neck and inhale him, flick out my tongue and taste him, and run my fingers through the sex hair atop his head. When he touched me though, it had nearly been my undoing. How my bravado did not crumble at that moment, I could not tell you. A warm tingly sensation like electric temptation ran up my arm and down my spine. That temptation was forbidden though and after I reminded myself of this, I realized that I needed to be away from him, far away.

I had refused to acknowledge him further but my whole body was aware of him. When he shifted at all, I sensed it. Though I had released his hand so long ago, I could still feel that sensation pulsing through me. I couldn't comprehend what was going on with me and I didn't even want to know if he was feeling the same. All I needed to do was come up with a plan. The Cullens would be in Denali for three weeks. All I needed to do was stay away from him for three weeks without raising suspicion that something was wrong. That could be easily managed right?

In dreamland maybe.

When my breathing was back to normal and I was no longer shaking, I climbed up to my favorite branch and tried to reach my Zen again so that I could rationally hash out a plan. Zen was a lot harder to find than it had ever been before though. I couldn't stop thinking about Edward. It wasn't a good sign when you couldn't think of things to distract you because you're too distracted by what you need to be distracted from!

I clapped my hands over my face and let out a frustrated growl. It was louder than I had intended and echoed off the mountains across the river and sent the forest animals fleeing. I took a deep steadying breath and gave my body a cleansing shake before I got down to business.

Hunting.

Jasper.

Humans.

Running.

Books.

All of these things had the best possibilities of distracting me. Hunting would get me out of the house for long periods at a time. Jasper had distracted me earlier, I'm sure he could do it again. Humans were just another form of hunting to me. It sated all my senses and would also get me out of the house for copious amounts of time. I usually tried to find human tourists who had hotel rooms for us to play in. It was a rule that no human entered our home. Running gave me a rush and I always put my whole focus into it. I read a lot as a human and that hadn't changed since I'd changed. There was a huge library back home that had tons of books I'd never heard of and in languages I was still learning to speak. The task of getting through them was all consuming.

If I could constantly involve myself in one of these things, I could stay away from Edward and maintain my sanity. Hopefully.

_**TPOV**_

"Aren't you worried? She's been gone for over ten hours? Is that normal?" Edward asked as he paced in front of my bedroom window.

"It's very normal. Bella values her time alone. She's an explorer, she travels all over Alaska all the time. Don't worry, baby," I assured him sliding off the bed and going to stand behind him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in between his shoulder blades.

"I've missed you so much," I murmured. "How come you never call me?"

He stepped out of my arms and went to sit on the couch away from me. Clearly we would be starting this visit with a cold front. I tried not to feel hurt by his distance. Usually Edward was eager to see me when he first arrived after a long time apart, but he was just so unpredictable that I knew not ever to be expectant of him.

"How have you been," I asked taking my seat in the middle of my bed again.

"Bored," he replied dryly.

_"As always," _I thought knowing that since Bella was gone he would hear me.

He cracked a smile, the first since he'd arrived, and nodded his head.

_"I had your piano tuned last week. Do you want to play a duet with me?"_

"Not now."

_"What else have you got to do? You can be bored in Forks all you want, but you know that when you're with me a good time is always insured," _I mentally purred.

I stared into his golden eyes as I remembered the last time we had been on the couch he was currently sitting on. He had been sitting in between my legs as I sucked his earlobe into my mouth and massaged his very swollen member.

He ducked his head in embarrassment. I giggled as I imagined the blush that would have flooded his face, if it were possible. Edward had always been self-conscious about the more illicit things we had done together. I had always found that adorable because he was never that way during.

I'd only gotten glimpses of how passionate Edward could be. He never allowed anything past foreplay but it was enough for me. I was confident that one day we would go all the way and I knew the wait would only make the actual deed that much better.

"Let's go play, Tanya," Edward said with a hint of frustration as he stood abruptly and moved swiftly to the door. I giggled again as I followed behind him. Always so moody, but that was a good thing. His moodiness always reached a breaking point at which time he would seek me out.

His piano was housed in it's own room on the first floor at the back of the house. It sat facing a huge bay window overlooking the garden in the backyard. The piano itself was a stunning ebony Steinway concert grand circa 1901, the year of his birth. It had cost me a pretty penny just to own, I won't even discuss how much it cost to restore it.

Edward slid onto the bench first and I slid in on his right. He smiled down at the instrument and ghosted his fingertips over the keys reverently before turning his grin to me.

"I still can't believe you bought this for me," he said. "I could never thank you enough."

_"I knew that it would make you happy and any time I get to see that look in your eyes when you look at it is thanks enough for me,"_ I thought.

I ran the back of my hand down the side of his face and tried not to let the way he stiffened at my touch affect me. I turned back to the piano and positioned my hands over the keys.

"Fantasia in F minor?" he asked.

"Of course," I smiled. _"It's my favorite."_


	9. Chapter 9

_**SM owns.**_

**_Thanks Mommakat!_**

**_Hello All! I want to thank you for your reviews. It makes me really happy to see that you are enjoying this story I created. Some of you asked about long this story will be and I know for sure that it will be exactly 35 chapters and an epilogue. This is story was written a while back and completed over on Twilighted. I recieved a few requests to bring it over to this site so that's what I did! _**

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_**BPOV**_

"Are you alright now?" Kate asked bursting out of the back door as soon as I emerged from the trees. I smiled at her and nodded my head.

"I'm fine. I just needed to be away for a little while. Nothing a good hunt couldn't fix," I replied. Even though it was a tiny inconsequential lie, I still felt guilty about it. My sisters had been nothing but honest with me and I wanted to be the same with them.

"Good, I was a little worried. You left so fast. I was thinking about sending someone after you but Tanya said it would be better to leave you alone," she told me.

"Yea, I needed to be by myself," I nodded. She sighed seeming relieved that I had not been in need of company and no one had come to my rescue. She was such a worrier. I looped my arm through hers and started back toward the house.

Once inside, I listened to the activity around the house. I could hear Irina and Rosalie gabbing about the new guy Irina was seeing. Carlisle and Esme were tucked away in one of the guest rooms. She was giggling as he whispered sweet nothings in her ear. I couldn't make out his actual words but I still felt like I was intruding on their moment. I could hear Alice humming and a gentle scraping like a pencil going across paper. She must have been drawing or something. Out in front of the house I could hear a scuffle that I quickly realized was Jasper and Emmett wrestling. Then I tuned in to the footsteps. One set of footsteps I knew from hearing everyday was from Tanya, the other I recognized by the fluttering in my stomach. They were headed this way.

"I'm going to go to the library, Okay?" I said to Kate before disentangling our arms and heading to the hall that led away from the footsteps. If I hurried I could get away before...

"Bella!"

_Balls_!

"Hey Tanya," I smiled as she entered the room, hands clasped with another being that I refused to acknowledge. I looked into Tanya's eyes and nowhere else.

"You just missed it! Edward and I just got done playing. I really wanted you to hear him!" she said before turning her head and smiling indulgently at the body beside her.

"I was bragging about you, I hope you don't mind. You just play so well that when she asked about you I couldn't not mention it," she said to the ordinary nothing special person she'd walked in with. "Would you mind going back and playing for her? Just one song?"

"It would be my pleasure."

Then I had to look. The sound of his voice was so velvety smooth that I had to see the source. Clearly I was not as prepared for the battle ahead as I had thought.

He was staring at me intently, just as he had earlier. I felt as though his eyes were piercing right through me to my very core. They blazed and burned like the sun and I could feel their heat on every inch of my body.

Was he always this intense!

"I guess, I'll listen," I shrugged before crossing my arms over my chest. "I don't have anything else better to do."

Tanya shot me a disapproving glare. I raised my brows and shrugged again unapologetically. She turned and started down the hall that led to the piano room towing Edward along with her. I turned to Kate who was still beside me and looped my arm with hers again. I couldn't be alone with just the two of them. I needed a buffer and she was going to be it.

"Behave." she hissed in my ear low enough for only me to hear as we followed behind.

"Don't I always?"

She rolled her eyes and pulled me over to the bay window so that we could sit on the window sill with Tanya.

"What would you like to hear?" Edward asked me as I internally groaned. I had never been so grateful for my shield in all my life. I never wanted him to know what the sound of his voice did to me. _I _didn't even want to accept what his voice did to me!

"What can you play?"

He chuckled under his breath and I worked to keep my face bored.

"Anything. Everything."

Arrogant. On anyway else it was annoying, but for him it was just sexy. Was it too much to ask for one thing that was unattractive about him?

"Ravel. _Gaspard de la Nuit_," I sneered.

One of mymany talents was the knowledge of random and mostly useless things. I happened to know that, that particular piece was considered one of the most difficult to play. Edward raised a shocked brow at me before nodding his head with a smirk. He sat down on the piano bench and poised his hands over the keys seconds before music began flowing through the room.

The melody was soft and just a tad wistful. It was a beautiful piece and while that was all well and good, I was more absorbed by the movement of his hands. Long elegant fingers. Swift and graceful. Confident and strong, yet reverent.

He played as if he was worshipping the instrument. The way he struck the keys with a certain lightness made it seem as if he was caressing the piano and the music it emitted in response were moans of pleasure. I wanted to be that piano. I wanted to see what kind of sounds he could coax out of me. I had to cross my legs as my imagination took off and...

And clearly I wasn't trying hard enough!

It was only day one and I was already failing at keeping myself distracted. I berated myself for being so weak and cursed him for having a power over me. When the song came to an end, my will was redoubled with rage. He looked at me with the most dazzling lopsided grin on the face of the earth and it only served to thrill and infuriate me further.

"Bravo. It would have been comedic if you couldn't play it. You've only had what? A century to learn it?"

I stood and walked out the door.

_**EPOV**_

I couldn't help but gape dumbly. I was really too shocked to do anything else. Clearly, she didn't like me. I would even go as far as to say that she hated me. I won't lie and say that all her reactions toward me thus far, hadn't hurt because they did. I was suddenly feeling more dejected that I had ever felt before. The first time I'd actually felt something real for a girl, she happened to despise me. She didn't even know me, but I had three weeks to change that. I had no idea what I had done to evoke her ire but seeing the fury mingled with her angelic features only gave her a different but no less stunning appeal.

_"I'm so sorry Edward! I don't know why she's behaving like this! She's usually so sweet, maybe this thing with her shield is bothering her more than I thought," _Tanya told me silently as Kate also sent mental apologies my way.

"It's fine," I assured them both with a plastered smile. "I'm sure that we've just caught her on a bad day."

I got up and left the piano to head up to the guest room I was staying in. I opened the door to find an amused Alice lounging across the bed.

_"One Denali worships the ground you walk on, and another wouldn't piss on you if you were fire," _she silently giggled.

"How would you know? You can't really _see_ if she would or not," I shot back earning a grimace from my favorite sister.

_"Low Blow."_

I shrugged and laid on the bed beside her. I had hoped to impress Bella with the Ravel piece she challenged me to play. She had impressed me just by knowing it. I had glanced at her a few times while I played and I thought the expression on her face had been awe. When I looked at her toward the end though, she appeared to be furious and her response proved that she was, in fact, just that.

I didn't know what had caused the shift in her moods and there was no way to figure it out. Jasper couldn't feel her, Alice couldn't see her, and I couldn't hear her. She was a complete enigma. I sighed and tugged on my hair in frustration.

Alice's laughter broke me out of my reverie. _"Calm down, Edward. She's just a moody newborn. For all we know she could be pissed about your shoe selection today, which just goes to show you should have let me dress you."_

I rolled my eyes and left the room and then the house altogether. I was irrationally annoyed at what Alice had said:

_She's _just _a moody newborn._

Bella wasn't _just _anything. She was everything and that's exactly why I was willing to fight tooth and nail to gain her favor.


	10. Chapter 10

_**SM owns.**_

**_Thanks Mommakat!_**

* * *

_**BPOV**_

"You have really great hair, you know," I said to Irina as I languidly dragged a brush through her ice blonde hair. I was sitting on the edge of her bed and she was on the floor in between my legs.

"You always say that but your hair is way prettier than mine. It's thicker and the color is richer," she replied as she flipped to a new page in her magazine.

"She's right. Your hair color is very beautiful, was it that color when you were human?" asked Rosalie who was on the bed beside, me laying on her stomach and painting her nails a dark red.

I nodded my head as Irina gasped and clutched her chest as she looked at Rosalie in disbelief. "Am I imagining things or did Rosalie Hale just compliment someone who is not herself?" Irina asked.

Rosalie smirked and pushed Irina's head playfully but carefully as not to mess up her nails. "I compliment people I like all the time, thank you very much. After hearing her bitch Edward out, I've decided I like her," Rosalie said.

I frowned a little. I was glad that Rosalie liked me and even flattered that someone as beautiful as her could find something to compliment me on, but it had not been my plan to make people think that I disliked Edward. I just wanted to keep my distance from him.

"I didn't mean to be a bitch to him," I muttered.

"Oh don't worry about it, B. He very often deserves a bitching out," Rosalie told me using the nickname that my sisters gave me.

I didn't want to make a big deal about the Edward thing, so I let the subject drop. Everyone in the house had heard what I'd said to him and I had been mortified. I didn't want to make a bad impression with the Cullens. They were supposedly like family and I didn't want to cause any discord.

Kate came in the room dressed in a sleeveless red dress with a plunging neckline that showed off her ample bust. The hem was at the knee but there was a split reaching very high up on her thighs. It looked _very_ familiar. Her hair was half up and half down and spiral curled. She struck an overtly sexy pose in front of us.

"How do I look?" she purred.

Rosalie let out a low whistle as Irina whooped excitedly.

"You look like every boy's wet dream...and probably some girls too!" Irina exclaimed.

Then I realized why the dress was so familiar. "Kate that's _mine_! I just bought that dress! I haven't even worn it yet!" I fussed.

"Yes, B, I know!" she smiled sweetly at me. "But I told you in the store that you're too short for the hem and you don't have the rack to really work the neckline like I can." I shot Rosalie a glare as she snickered beside me.

"Yes, but you also told me to go ahead and buy it!"

"So that _I_ could wear it."

I growled at her and she came over and kissed the top of my head. "Don't worry, my dear. You remember that little midnight blue number I bought? The off the shoulder one with the ruching," she asked and I nodded my head. "Well I've never worn it and it is currently residing in your closet," she said.

It was a fair trade so I grinned and went back to brushing Irina's hair. "Well in that case you look even sexier than you already think you do."

Kate giggled and thanked us as she sashayed out of the room. Rose, Irina, and I hung out a little more before Emmett came looking for his wife and Irina left to go hunt with Esme. I went down to the library and nestled into my favorite chair-and-a-half resting my back on one arm and my feet over the other.

I had just cracked open a book that Kate made me promise to read claiming that it would improve my Russian. My sisters were anxious for me to pick up their native language and I was just excited to learn something new, plus Russian curse words were a lot harsher than English ones. They really got the point across and I had learned those first.

Just as I had gotten immersed in my book, Tanya came into the room. I didn't look up to acknowledge her but I could feel her hesitancy. I stiffened, waiting to find out what she wanted.

"B?" she called to me from the doorway. I finally lifted my head and met her eyes. "Run with me?" she asked.

I stifled my sigh and nodded my head. I closed my book and followed her out of the house. We took off into the trees and we ran in tension filled silence for about a half hour before she stopped and leaned against a huge pine and crossed her arms. I mimicked her position on another tree across from her.

"You don't like Edward."

It wasn't a question but a statement of fact. I really didn't want to get into any kind of conversation with her about him. Just the mention of his name had my stomach doing somersaults.

"Look," I began and heard her sigh in disappointment. "It's not that I don't like him, Tanya. I barely even know him."

"Well what is it? You haven't been very nice to him at all. Are you still upset from that day we talked about him, because I know that our relationship sounds bad but Edward just over thinks everything and that can slow things down," she told me.

"For fifty years!"

"Bella you don't know him!" she exclaimed rushing over to me and taking both my hands in hers. "Just give him a chance! Both of you are really important to me. I'd really love it if you two could get along!"

I shook my head in refusal. I could never be Edward's friend. It would kill me being close to him, harboring the feelings I possessed, and all the while knowing that I could never have him.

"Tanya, I'm sorry for the way I've acted so far toward him. It was truly never my intention to be mean. I promise to be polite from now on but that's all I can promise right now," I replied staring down at my feet.

She sighed again but this time in defeat. "Will you at least admit that he's beautiful?"

My eyes snapped up to hers and saw that the tension was gone. She was now grinning at me smugly, basically daring me to disagree, and I dropped my eyes once more.

"He's exquisite," I shrugged feeling both traitorous and relieved talking about him with her.

"I told you!" she gushed.

Tanya then embarked on a feature by feature appraisal of Edward which I dutifully participated in as if he was no different from any of the other men we'd fawned over. When we got back home, I went straight to my room and stripped out of my clothes. I crawled into bed and buried myself in covers and pillows feeling completely exhausted. It was the first time I missed the ability to sleep.

The next day I showered and got dressed. I hoped that it would be a lot better than yesterday. I went down to the living room and found Carlisle, Esme, Rose, Emmett, and Irina all there laughing about something Emmett had done a few years back. I greeted them all but kept walking until I found who I was looking for; Jasper. Too bad he was with who I was hoping to avoid; Edward.

They were all sitting on the back patio. Jasper and Alice were sitting on a white wicker cushioned loveseat as Edward and Tanya sat on the couch. While Alice and Jasper looked as though they were joined at the hip, there seemed to be a whole country between Tanya and Edward. I moved to sit in an arm chair but Tanya had taken hold of my wrist and pulled me into the spot between her and Edward.

It was at that moment that it dawned on me. I had done something _horrid_ in a past life.

I stifled a sigh and tried to position myself so that I was closer to Tanya than Edward but there seemed to be some kind of static energy generating in the space I'd left between me and the gorgeous man. I tried my best to ignore it, but it was just too prominent.

"We were just talking about going snowboarding today, you should come with us," Edward said.

I looked over at him not really meaning to, but I seemed to automatically respond to his voice. He was too beautiful for his own good. I took a calming breath and fixed a polite smile on my face.

"No," I said shaking my head. "I don't want to be a fifth wheel."

Edward quickly opened his mouth to say something but Alice spoke first and I was glad to turn my attention to someone else.

"Oh you totally won't be," Alice said. "I'm not going. Rose, Irina, and I are going into town to shop. Only Jasper, Emmett, Edward, and Tanya are going, she told me.

"And please don't make me be the only girl amongst all the guys!" Tanya chimed in looking at me with pleading eyes.

"I don't know how to snowboard."

"Oh it's so easy," Jasper said. "I'll be happy to teach you."

I sighed and gave in. I had already deemed Jasper as one of my distractions. If he was going and willing to teach me, I would easily be able to keep my focus on him.

"You'll love snowboarding Bella. We'll have to go to Juneau for higher and steeper mountains and you might be able to find a few polar bears up there," Tanya said and suddenly Emmett was on the patio wearing the expression of a starving man in front of a free buffet. He was standing directly in front of Tanya and me and I found myself alarmed at how huge he was. It just wasn't right to be that big.

"Polar bears? I hear they can get pretty fierce," he said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Very fierce," I nodded. "Strong too. I was surprised actually because I always thought they were so cute when I was human, but not so much now. It's nearly impossible to find something cute when their claws are trying to scrape your face off."

Emmett looked at me with an amused smile. I was instantly charmed by his deep dimples.

"You hunt bears?" he asked seeming surprised.

"All the time."

He burst into a hearty booming laugh and I found myself giggling too even though I wasn't even sure what we were laughing at.

"Oh I gotta see the shrimp take on a bear," he laughed.

"Shrimp!" I scoffed standing up and poking him in his broad chest. "I'll have you know that not only can I take down a bear but I can take one down faster than you! Big things come in small packages!" I exclaimed.

"Hear! Hear!" Alice the pint sized vampire yelled and I high-fived her in the spirit of uplifting the height challenged world wide.

Emmett chuckled incredulously but nodded his head. "Oh you are so on," he said. "And just to make it interesting, why don't we make a little wager?"

"Name the terms."

"Loser has to jump in the Pacific, eat a raw fish and keep it down for five hours."

"Deal."

"Deal."

We shook hands and he left the patio laughing, clearly thinking he was going to win.

"Kick his ass Bella!" Alice said and I nodded once.

"I plan to."

Emmett was clearly competitive and that was something I could definitely put to use. He was therefore added to my list of distractions.


	11. Chapter 11

_**SM owns.**_

**_Thanks Mommakat!_**

* * *

_**BPOV**_

The ride to Juneau was short thanks to the speed demon, also known as Edward. He'd done 200mph the entire way. I'd sat in the back seat in between Emmett and Jasper and it was actually quite pleasant. We could only drive so far though, because the mountains we planned on snowboarding on were not the same mountains open to the tourists. After Edward parked, we all got out and the boys started unloading the boards from the trunk.

"Maybe since you're in such a competitive mood today Bella, you should race Edward to the top," Tanya suggested, tucking her board and mine under her arm as I glared at her.

"Why? You think she's faster than Eddie?" Emmett asked.

"She might be," Tanya nodded.

"I doubt it," Edward scoffed and suddenly I was glaring at him instead of my sister.

"Are you always so cocky?" I asked putting my hands on my hips.

He smiled and stepped closer to me. "There is a difference between cocky and confident," he said wearing the same sexy arrogant smirk he'd worn last night before he played for me.

"Yes, there is," I agreed. "That doesn't change the fact that you are the former," I snapped.

His smirk was unwavering and it was making me uncomfortable. I could feel my protective walls starting to shudder under the pressure.

"If I'm cocky then so are you. You were clearly proud of yourself last night for requesting that song. You seem to think you can beat Emmett on a hunt which I gotta admit I find a little hard to believe. And you think you're faster than me, which I also doubt."

During his little rant he'd moved very close to me. We were standing toe to toe and the sliver of space between us was crackling with static energy. My breathing was coming out quick and shallow. I hoped the others would think it was because of anger but really I wasn't sure if I wanted to slap him or kiss him. I knew for sure though that I wanted to race him.

"Jasper, count us down," I said turning from Edward to face the mountain.

"I like her," Emmett said nodding his approval to Tanya who giggled.

Edward chuckled and turned to stand beside me. Jasper started at five and the second the word one left his lips Edward and I took off up the mountain. I had to admit that Edward was fast, he stayed at my side for a good while but soon he started falling behind. His legs were longer than mine and that was probably what allowed him to keep up, but in the end it all came down to speed...and I was faster.

I reached the top with Edward a whole five seconds behind. When he reached me, I pretended to yawn and check my nonexistent watch.

"It's about time. You move almost as fast my old pet turtle," I said. It was my turn to wear the smug smirk.

"Cocky and a boaster...figures," he replied rolling his eyes but I could see the humor in his eyes. "And to think I was going to congratulate you."

"I don't need a congratulations. I just want to hear you admit defeat," I told him.

He shook his head in exasperation and swept me a grand bow. "I have eaten the dust of the almighty speedy one," he said in a mock grovel.

I couldn't help but laugh, but then he caught me off guard.

_**EPOV**_

To say that Bella had impressed me again, would be an understatement. She was beyond fast, her legs seemed to blur, even to my own vampiric enhanced eyes. I was so amazed that I forgot to sulk at my loss. She however did not forget to rub it in.

When I joined her at the top, she was standing with her hand on her jutted out hip. I wanted to be annoyed with her but all I felt was besotted. She was clearly proud of herself and I could see the thrill of victory in her eyes. She seemed to display a different entrancing beauty with every emotion she felt. So I decided to indulge her a little bit.

I pretended to kowtow for her and she giggled in response and then it was my turn to be smug again. I had made her giggle. She was emitting that delightful chime for me and I reveled in my own private victory. I rose out of my bow to shake her hand for a more serious congratulations but also just to be able to touch her again. When I grasped her hand, I anticipated the responding shock so I didn't gasp when the sensation rushed up my arm, but Bella did.

Not only did she gasp but she flinched. My eyes snapped to meet hers and I saw something resembling panic there.

_She felt it too!_

The instant the realization dawned on me, I very literally floored. Tanya collided with me wrapping her arms around my waist and since I had been so focused on Bella I was not prepared for the impact. Tanya and I crashed into the snow with her on top of me.

"I told you she fast!" Tanya giggled, and while it was a very appealing sound, it had nothing on Bella's laugh. Bella, who was now standing ten feet away with her back to us as Jasper and Emmett congratulated her on kicking my ass. I wanted to go to her and demand that she admit that she felt the same electricity between us. I couldn't do that though because Tanya was still on top of me.

I quickly brought us to a standing position and stepped away from her.

"Watch yourself Tanya! You can't just go jumping on top of me like that!" I hissed at her and immediately felt guilty as she flinched at my tone.

_"Edward, I didn't mean to lay on top of you. When I came to hug you I didn't think that you would fall," _she silently told me. I'd hurt her feelings. _"I apologize."_

I sighed and shook my head. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just that this thing between us...," I began but was cut off by a shriek.

I spun around just in time to see Bella and Jasper zooming down the mountain on their boards. Bella hit a snow mound and crashed into Jasper who caught her in his arms as they laughed and rolled down the rest of the way. The responding jealousy hit me hard.

"What are you guys waiting for! Get on your boards!" Emmett yelled as he whizzed past Tanya and me on his own board. Tanya rolled her eyes but scampered off to get her board. I needed a few more seconds to swallow my envy before Jasper returned and felt it wafting off me.

_**BPOV**_

I couldn't believe how big of an idiot I was. I had literally astounded myself with my own stupidity. I had allowed myself to banter with the man for all of two seconds and I had immediately lost my focus. He should have never gotten the chance to touch me again. It was bad enough that I had felt that wonderful sensation flood my body again and nearly melted with pleasure but then I saw the look on his face. His eyes had lit up with some emotion that I didn't even want to decipher.

When Tanya tackled him down, I made my hasty retreat away from him and forced myself to focus on Jasper and Emmett. They told me how to balance and move my body on the board. After only a few mishaps, one of which sent both Jasper and I tumbling down the mountain, I got the hang of it. I quickly fell in love with snowboarding and was having an awesome time, but I couldn't help notice that Edward wasn't enjoying himself like everyone else. He seemed a bit distracted and I felt a little queasy as I thought about what he could be thinking about.

Before I could get too upset about it, the latest addition to my distractions list came up behind me and twisted my body so that I was facing the wind.

"Smell that?"

I slow smile spread across my face. "Polar bears."

Emmett and I didn't hesitate in chasing the scent. I could hear the others running behind us as they caught the scent as well. They wanted to witness the competition. The scent led us to an icy lake. It wasn't completely frozen over but thick chunks of ice floated on the surface and on the other side were two polar bears drinking the water.

It was a lot like my first hunt. I was standing across water from a bear like then but this time the bears noticed me and Emmett. I glanced behind me and saw the others about twenty feet back.

"Count us down, Jasper," I whispered.

As Jasper started from five again, the bears began to growl at us as their instincts clued them in on the danger. Jasper reached one and Emmett and I rushed forward hopping from ice chuck to ice chuck to get to the bears. They both rose up on their hind legs in preparation for us.

I barreled forward ready to collide head on with the bear like I had during my first hunt. I had gotten across the lake faster than Emmett and could almost taste my second victory of the day. Just before I reached my bear, it lunged forward and sent us both backward. Just before my back hit the water I saw Emmett veer off and tackle his bear from the side moving too fast for it to defend itself.

I plunged into the lake, knowing that I had lost. Once I was under, the bear maintained his upper hand in the fight. This was my first time in water since my change and while I was not used to battling my prey under the water, the bear was. We sank to the bottom quickly and he had me pinned with his heavy paws on my shoulders.

I wanted to laugh at the irony when the bear's jaw closed on my neck. Instead I dug my nails in it's back and it relented just enough for me to flip it over. I wasted no time in biting into him. I couldn't help but drink in a bit of water and the disgusting acidic taste of it did not blend well with the blood. I drained the bear underwater and then reluctantly swam back to the top.

_**EPOV**_

Bella shot out of the lake like some avenging water nymph. Her hair and clothes were soaked and sticking to her body. I'm not ashamed to admit that I ogled her breasts as her shirt clung to them and made her erect nipples stand out. Her fists were balled at her sides and she scowled at Emmett who had hoisted his kill over his shoulders as if it were a fur shawl or something. She was again glorious in her rage.

"Oh no Denali! Get back in that water and go fishing!" Emmett said.

"You said the Pacific! This is a lake!" Bella snarled back.

"Whatever. Don't be a cry baby! Let's just get over with. Use all the big things in that small package to go grab the kind of prey you should _really_ be hunting!" Emmett smirked.

I was a little pissed at Emmett. Even though Bella had just bragged about her victory over me, I didn't like him doing it to her.

"Cut it out, Em," I said stepping forward. "You made a deal on the Pacific and this lake is not that."

Emmett opened his mouth to respond but stopped as we heard a small splash. Bella had jumped back into the lake and moments later emerged with a fish.

"Bon appetite," Emmett sneered.

Bella flipped him off and looked down at the fish in her other hand. She brought it to her mouth but winced at the smell.

"Just do it quickly, B," Tanya said, her voice oozing sympathy. Bella nodded and scarfed down the fish bones and all.

Emmett's laughter echoed off the mountains and I momentarily feared an avalanche. When Bella was done eating, she clutched her stomach and gagged a little.

"Five hours! You have to keep it down for five hours!" Emmett exclaimed through his laughter and I slapped him on the back of his head. Bella was suffering. How could it he still be laughing when my heart was aching for her?

Bella began to storm off back down the mountain. When Jasper caught up to her, he began rubbing her back and bent his head to her ear. What the fuck was he doing! I figured he was whispering something in her ear as I heard her giggle but whatever he was saying it was too low for the rest of us to hear. I reached out to his mind to hear what he was saying that way but heard nothing. She was shielding him! Bella laughed heartily and Jasper draped his arm over her shoulders.

I repressed a growl as I watched them walk away. This was the second time he had put his arm around her! Why couldn't he just keep his fucking hands to himself! How could she so willingly accept his touch when she actually felt something from mine but turned away from it every chance she got! How come he was so welcome in her presence when I was only shunned and snapped at? It wasn't fair and I didn't like it.


	12. Chapter 12

_**SM owns.**_

**_Thank you Mommakat!_**

* * *

_**BPOV**_

I groaned and rolled onto my side trying to find some way to be comfortable. Being uncomfortable was strange to me and was almost like torture. Discomfort was a condition that vampires very rarely had to deal with and I'd grown very accustomed to being at ease constantly. The fish had only been in my belly for an hour and I was ready to pull my hair out.

It was heavy inside of me, like lead and for some reason made me feel off balance. My venom couldn't break it down like blood and every now and then discomfort gave away to outright pain.

I was stretched out on the island in the kitchen trying to think of anything but the fish. I'd chosen the kitchen because no one ever entered it. It was completely useless to us and I figured I could suffer in peace there. Emmett came in quite often though to make fun of me. I was pissed and despite the outcome of our competition I was still faster than him. So when I threw at knives at him, he wasn't able to dodge them.

The second Emmett appeared in the doorway I hurled a knife directly at his forehead. It wouldn't cut him but the steel was hard enough to hurt him a little if I put all my might into it. The knife hit him in between his eyebrows and bent out of shape before crashing to the floor.

"ISABELLA IF YOU RUIN ANOTHER PIECE OF MY FINE CUTLERY I'M GOING TO RIP OFF YOUR HANDS AND MAKE YOU EAT THOSE TOO!" Kate screamed from her bedroom.

Emmett snickered and turned to leave as I growled at his retreating form. I tried to relax because I would get real revenge very soon. As we prepared to leave the mountain, Jasper had told me he would teach me how to fight and I could challenge Em to a fight and kick his ass. He'd assured me that nothing would hurt Emmett's pride more than getting whipped by a girl and it would add insult to injury that I was basically half his size. Not only was Jasper a good distraction but he was a genius as well.

_**EPOV**_

"Tanya will you stop!" I said slapping her hand away from my face.

She knit her brow and took a step away from me. She turned her back and I couldn't help but think about Bella. Bella was always turning her back to me and the snub was starting to piss me off no matter who was doing it.

"So I can't touch you now?" she asked.

I sighed and moved in front of her. "I just think we should cool off for a bit," I told her.

The arms she had crossed over her chest were now wrapped around her torso as she ducked her head to speak to her feet rather than to me. Hurt was evident in her face, posture, and thoughts. I hated the fact that it was I making her feel that way.

"Why?" she murmured. "Am I doing something wrong?"

"Not necessarily. Tanya we've never been a real couple and I think we should stop acting like one until we know what we really want," I told her trying to use my most soothing of tones.

_"I know what I want! I've always known. I've just been waiting on you. It's clear that you like me, that you're attracted to me. You can say whatever you want but the way you're body responds when I touch you can't be denied!" _her thoughts countered me as she glanced meaningfully at my crotch.

"Yes, Tanya, I think you're very beautiful. What person with the ability to see wouldn't," I replied. "All I'm saying is that there are things that I need to think about right now and I can't do that with you constantly hounding me!"

"Hounding you?" she scoffed indignantly.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head. "Maybe that was the wrong word," I agreed. "I just need time and space to think. Can you give me that?" I asked, meeting her eyes and immediately noticing how they didn't sparkle like Bella's, they didn't hold the same magic.

_"Time? That's _all_ I've given you. There's no need to start asking for it now!"_

Tanya stormed out of the room and I sat back on the piano bench. I felt bad for hurting her. That was never my intention. I genuinely liked her and she had always been a good friend to me. I wasn't sure why I was feeling all these strange but intense feelings for her sister but it was getting harder and harder to ignore the fact that what Tanya felt for me was not what I felt for her.

Part of me felt like an idiot though. Just because I felt something for Bella didn't mean that she felt something for me. She had shown me nothing but animosity since I'd arrived. When I'd touched her earlier today she had gasped. I had thought it was because of the electricity I felt between us, but what if I was wrong. Was it really smart to throw away something assured with Tanya on an assumption I'd made about Bella?

_**BPOV**_

_Sweet relief!_

Unfortunately, the fish had tasted far worse coming out than it had going in. This was something I had expected though and all that really mattered was that it was out of my stomach and all was right again. I went on a quick hunt to get the lingering taste out of my mouth before heading back home.

When I got back to the house, music was blaring, I could hear laughter, and lots of rustling that sounded like clothes being thrown around. I went inside and was immediately grabbed my Tanya. She pulled me up to my room and closed the door. If she was going for privacy, closing the door was not going to cut it but I didn't mention it aloud. The look on her face clued me in to the fact that something was wrong. I instantly collected her in my shield. I didn't know what was going on but it made me feel better to know that I was protecting her in some capacity.

"He said he needs time. Time _and _space! Why, Bella? He's been distant before but never like this and I don't understand. He won't even let me touch him! He admitted that he's attracted to me but something just feels off. I feel like I'm losing him. He keeps snapping at me and then apologizing but I know he doesn't mean it. I feel like my very presence is agitating him. I don't like this and I'm freaking out! We've all decided to go dancing tonight and what am I supposed to do? I'm certainly not going to pick up any humans. I don't want him to blow up if I try to dance with him or God forbid I even look at him! I want to have fun tonight but I can't. Not with him acting the way he is."

She spoke low enough to insure that no else but me heard and her lips had moved so fast they didn't even seem to move at all. She had only said "he" and "him" throughout her frantic rant but I knew exactly who she was talking about. I could see in her eyes that she was truly upset and worried.

Obviously, I didn't want to discuss Edward but she was my sister and she had come to me for help. I wouldn't be so selfish as to blow her off. I stuffed my own issues in the back recesses of my mind and focused on her and what she needed. I stepped forward and wrapped her in my arms.

"You can definitely have fun tonight. I refuse to believe that my bombshell of a sister needs a guy to make her night. Assert your independence. Don't let him see that he's getting to you. Don't give him the satisfaction. He wants time and space? Well give it to him but put on your best dress and show him what he's going to miss." I replied.

She nodded her head and I smiled as I swatted her ass. "Now buck up and go put on your big girl panties!"

She giggled and gave me another quick hug. "I love you, B!"

_**EPOV**_

Tanya and Bella were the last to come down. Their arms were linked and they were laughing loudly. I knew that Tanya was with Bella but I gave her no attention. I had acquired tunnel vision and all I could see was Bella.

Being vampires, we had milk white skin, paler than any human could possibly be. We usually stuck to wearing lighter colors because the contrast of dark colors against our skin was often alarming. Either Bella was not aware of this or just didn't care. Something told me it was the latter. She was clad in a black lace strapless dress with a sweetheart neckline. It was only thanks to Alice's incessant pondering and designing of clothes that I was able to know and differentiate between necklines. The dress seemed to be painted on her and the hem hit just above the knee.

Her paleness was of course more noticeable but somehow it worked. Her skin looked so smooth and flawless. The urge to touch her was stronger than it had ever been. She was wearing black heels that were no less than five inches and a stunning diamond choker adorned her elegant neck. Her hair was down and in curls but pinned back away from her face. She was a vision.

She and Tanya reached the rest of us and we all left the house. There were too many of us for one car so we had to split up. There was no way in hell I wasn't getting into the same car as Bella. Tanya seemed to be clinging to her but at this point I didn't care. Despite Bella being mad at him earlier, she walked straight over to Emmett's Hummer. Tanya finally let her go so that they could climb in on each side of the backseat.

I seized the opportunity and rushed forward to Bella's side of the car. I opened the door for her and though she did not need my help I grabbed her waist to give her a boost. She looked over at me with mingled shock and annoyance in her eyes. I responded with a smile.

"I never thought the beauty you possess tonight was even possible," I whispered leaning close to her ear taking in her sweet floral yet fruity scent.

She clasped her hand painfully tight on my shoulder as she used to it to climb the rest of the way into the truck, but not before giving me a very sweet, "Fuck off."

I chuckled as I climbed in the car beside her, no longer hurt by her reactions. I expected them now. The ride to the club was awkward and filled with loud silence even though Emmett's music was blaring. We reached the club and everyone seemed to race out of the car and inside.

The club was packed and Bella immediately immersed herself into the crowd as everyone else moved to get a booth. Emmett ordered bottles of some sort of vodka to keep up pretenses. I made my way to the bar and sat on an empty stool. I scanned the various minds to try and locate Bella. I didn't like not knowing where she was.

I quickly found her in the mind of some guy. She was leaning against the wall with her hands clasped behind her back and her hips pushed forward. Her head was slightly bowed making her seem sweet but enticing. The man's mind I was seeing her through was basically salivating for her. He saw her as timid and innocent and desperately wanted to get her back to his hotel and see if he could bring out the animal in her. I happened to know that was something he definitely did not want to do.

I was disgusted with the images he was dreaming up. The positions he wanted to twist her into were appalling. I stood up to go make sure he never got the chance but stopped when I saw through his eyes as Bella looked up through her long dark lashes at him. She gave him a small smile before biting her bottom lip and looking away shyly.

The man rejoiced, figuring that she was attracted to him but too shy to actually make a move. Bella wasn't shy though. I realized she was baiting him, playing a role to beckon him forth.

Jealousy raged inside of me. Was she attracted to him? Did she really want him? I swallowed a growl as he made it to her and hooked his arm behind her to grab her waist and pull her to him. Bella giggled and placed her hands on his chest and he moved backward leading her onto the dance floor with him.

"Hi." she said smiling brightly up at him. "I'm Bella."

"I'm so pleased to meet you beautiful Bella. I'm Shawn," he replied leaning down to whisper in her ear.

Was this guy serious? He was clearly a prick. Why had she chosen him? I watched as he spun Bella around so that her back was against his chest. My hands clenched into tight fists as she reached back to rest her hand on his hip and the other on the back of his neck. I moved through the crowd, no longer satisfied with seeing her second hand. I leaned against the wall Bella herself had been leaning against and got a clear view of them.

I stopped paying attention to what Shawn was thinking because the only thing I could process at the moment was the way Bella moved. Her back was arched as she rolled her hips, sinuous and slow. Her breasts pushed forward and I could see her nipples beginning to harden. She bit her bottom lip as her eyes closed and she rested her head back on his chest.

I was paralyzed with lust. My hard on seemed to come suddenly and strained painfully against my pants. I was too transfixed by the sight of her to even try and adjust myself. I had never been this aroused before and it was driving me insane. I found myself hating Shawn more than anything on this earth. I wanted to be the one Bella was grinding against. I wanted her to arch her back and lust only for me.

I watched as Shawn bent his head and took Bella's earlobe into his mouth. Her full red lip fell from her teeth as her jaw dropped forming her mouth in a perfect O. She gasped in what I assumed was pleasure and opened her eyes. They instantly locked with mine and then...she smirked.

I groaned and took off. I didn't care if any humans noticed that I was moving too fast. I had to do something and I had to do it fast. I entered the mercifully empty men's room and locked the door behind me. I nearly tore the zipper trying to free my swollen cock. I took my erection into my hand and closed my eyes to envision Bella and that damned smirk.


	13. Chapter 13

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**_Thanks Mommakat!_**

* * *

_**BPOV**_

Feeling Shawn's heat was amazing. I could feel him hard against me and that wasn't half bad either. As he put his chest against my back, his beating heart pounded through him into me. The heart beat is what I loved most about humans. They truly were unique and no matter what speed they were going at the rhythm was always the same.

I closed my eyes to give in to just the feeling alone, but the second I did Shawn was no longer the most enticing sensation I could feel. The static energy was present and prominent. I could feel it humming over every inch of my skin and it felt so good. I bit my lip to stop myself from moaning out in response to it.

The static hum conjured all kinds of images in my head. Dazzling images of messy silken strands of bronze, long fingers gliding over piano keys, chiseled jaw lines, red full lips fixed in a crooked grin, and golden eyes. These pictures swirled in my mind mingled with the sensation and it was almost too much.

The hum began to grow stronger and I felt hot lips close around my earlobe. They were too hot to be the lips that I wanted and it both angered and shocked me. I had to open my eyes. The first thing I saw was the messy bronze, the jaw line, the lips, and the golden eyes piercing straight through me and lidded with pure lust. My anger dissipated to warm happiness and I welcomed it with a smile.

The golden eyes filled with despair without eliminating the lust. What was happening? What was I doing, but more importantly what was he doing! It was bad enough that he was watching me like that and then he was moving entirely too fast.

I watched Edward run into the men's room and then scanned the crowd to see if anyone had noticed. It didn't seem so, but there were so many people here that I couldn't be sure. I didn't want to care or worry about Edward. I couldn't. I turned around to face Shawn and pull him closer to me but something was different now. He felt, smelled, and sounded the same but it didn't deliver the same pleasure, the same thrill or rush.

I was used to feeling this way when I was bored with a human but I'd never gotten bored this quickly before. It usually took at the very least a whole day. I shrugged it off and moved on to someone else. Selecting a guy from the crowd and calling him to me easily as I always did with a coy glance and smile. He instantly made his way to me, but I seemed to grow bored before he even reached me.

What the hell was happening?

_**EPOV**_

I washed my hands and tried to pull myself together before going back out there. I was sure I would see Bella because my eyes always sought her out on their own accord but I wasn't sure if I could handle being aroused like that again. I didn't want to see her with Shawn or any other guy either. I had always carried a bit of envy around with me when I was around my family of three mated vampires but this, what I was feeling now, was something new entirely. It was intense, all encompassing, and potentially lethal. It was hard to control and part of me didn't want to control it.

I unlocked the restroom door feeling somewhat prepared for whatever position I would find Bella in. What I wasn't prepared for was Esme standing right outside. Before I could even think to be embarrassed about what she could have heard, I found myself enveloped in her arms.

_"Oh Edward! Honey I'm so sorry!" _her thoughts cried out to me.

I hugged her back not knowing what else to do. She stepped back and took my hand in hers before towing me along with her as she moved to the booth where the rest of our family was. Esme quickly made up an excuse as to why we had to leave and told everyone we would be back at the house later.

"Is everything alright?" Carlisle stood, his face full of concern.

"Everything is okay, I just need to talk to Edward alone that's all," Esme assured him but the concern didn't leave him. He turned to me and quirked a brow.

_"Are you okay?" _Carlisle silently asked.

I offered him a smile and nod before he sat back down. Esme pulled me out of the club and into an alley. She took off running and I followed her still not really sure what was going on. The only thing I could pull from her mind was her eagerness to find a place we could be alone.

That place happened to be the roof of an abandoned warehouse. Esme sat on the ledge of the roof and patted the spot beside her.

"Esme what's going on?" I asked as I sat.

_"I saw you run into the men's room. You moved so fast and I was worried about you. I followed to make sure you were okay but I heard you in there..."_ her thoughts trailed off abashedly and I looked away finally feeling the embarrassment. What I did in there was rare for me but tonight it had been necessary. I just wish that Esme of all people didn't have to witness it.

"Esme, I'm sorry that...," I began but she placed her hand over mine and shook her head.

_"No, Edward. Don't worry about it, okay? I wanted to talk to you because I heard you say her name. Bella's, I mean."_

"Oh."

I didn't know what else to say. I hadn't planned on anyone finding out about whatever the hell I was feeling for Bella. It was strange and I had wanted to figure it out before I went discussing it with anyone.

_"You want her?" _Esme prompted after I hadn't said anything else.

"Yes but it's so much more than simply _wanting_ her Esme, I've never felt anything like this before. The second I saw her I was entranced. She's so beautiful, full of fire, funny, and frustrating. She's got that shield and it kills me not knowing what she's thinking! There's energy between us and when we touch it's electric, Esme, I swear! I think she feels it too but I have no way to know for sure because she hates the very sight of me. I just want to be near her and she can't get away from me fast enough! I know it's crazy to feel this way about someone I just met, but I know it's real and I can't ignore it."

I sighed and then laughed recalling how I'd just spilled my guts just after thinking about not being ready to discuss what I felt. I looked over at Esme and knit my brows at her expression. Her eyes were alight and frenzied. Her mouth hung open in shock but with a slight smile as her thoughts were a steady stream of "oh my God" and "finally".

"Esme?" I asked placing my hand on her shoulders which seemed to bring her out of whatever stupor she had been in. She quickly shook her head but suddenly her face fell in dejection.

"But...Tanya. What about Tanya?" she murmured more to herself than to me. That didn't stop me from responding though.

"I like Tanya and I know how she feels about me. The thing is I've never really wanted her like that. I've never felt for her what I feel for Bella. I've just always hoped that I might be able to be...complacent with her," I replied struggling to word exactly what I had hoped to get out of my relationship with Tanya.

Esme looked at me with a heartbroken expression. I was sure that if she could cry, she would have. I pulled her into my arms and kissed the top of her head.

"Esme, please don't worry. I'm fine," I told her as she pressed her face into my chest.

_"No! I know exactly how you feel. I felt like that when I first saw Carlisle when I was sixteen! I know what's it's like to feel that instant connection, that pull, and not be able to do anything about it! All while I was suffering with my first husband, I only thought of Carlisle and he was so far out of my reach. I don't want this for you Edward! I hate that you have to go through what I did!"_

I laughed and pulled back to look at her face. Esme was the most tender loving person I'd ever met. Her heart was so big and she was so full of warmth. I knew that she was always worrying about me and how lonely I was. I wanted to assure her that I was fine.

"Esme, I'm sure what I feel is nothing compared to how you felt. Carlisle is your mate. The longing you felt for him..." I trailed off at the expression on her face. She looked as if she was waiting for something but also frustrated that I didn't know what it was.

But suddenly I did know.

I jumped up and shook my head in disbelief. Esme stood and took both of my hands.

_"It's all the same. Everything you feel is everything I felt, Edward. I really think that Bella's..."_

"My mate." I finished for her incredulously. I couldn't believe that after all this time, I had found my mate but I listened intently as Esme replayed the dim but otherwise well preserved memory of the first time she met Carlisle. And it was true that I could identify with every emotion she had felt.

"Bella's my mate." I said this time with more conviction. A smile began to spread across my face as I envisioned having a future with her. I didn't have to be alone anymore. I didn't have to settle. I could be truly happy and be rid of all the envy I had carried over the past ninety years because I had found the key to a better forever. The best forever. Bella was _mine._

"But Edward," Esme called, pulling me from my reverie. I looked down at her face wondering why she was still wearing that heartbroken expression. We had just discovered that I'd found my mate! Why was she not as elated as me. I felt like some weight had been lifted and I was free to fly if I wanted to.

"What's wrong?" I asked not able to get rid of my smile.

_"Bella might be your mate, but she's also Tanya's sister."_

And just like that all the happiness I'd thought I'd found, was robbed from me.


	14. Chapter 14

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**_Thank you Mommakat!_**

* * *

_**BPOV**_

When we got home from the club Edward and Esme were still M.I.A. I wasn't worried or concerned about where he was. I wasn't even curious actually. I hadn't thought about the look in his eyes as I danced with Shawn every twenty seconds either. I was totally unfazed, cool, calm, and collected. I wasn't even irrationally enraged when Irina decided to wait until Edward and Esme came back to make her little comment.

"You know, I'm surprised you came home Bella. You were _practically_ fucking that guy on the dance floor and I was sure you would have been _actually_ fucking him by now," she said.

"Irina shut the hell up! There isn't a rule saying we have to jump on every dick attached to an attractive man! You would have done well to remember that when you were laid out in the back of that sleazy blonde guy's car earlier!" I shot back.

I wanted to punch myself in the mouth after seeing the look on Irina's face. The room was completely and awkwardly silent. I had hurt her feelings and embarrassed her in front of everyone and for no good reason. Me and my sisters always teased each other because we all knew that it wasn't personal or malicious. It was just the way we were, but just now I had made it personal and malicious all because I couldn't keep my shit together over one damned man.

"Please forgive me. I have no idea why I said that. I just...I...I don't know. I'm sorry, Irina," I said pleading her with my eyes to not be mad at me.

"Don't worry Bella. I was more offended when you used to borrow my clothes to go hunt and brought me back tattered scraps of fabrics," she laughed and gave me a quick hug.

Everyone else laughed to help get rid of the awkwardness. Irina pushed my hair behind my ear and stared intently into my eyes asking me a question. Clearly she knew that something was wrong and wanted to know what it was, but I shook my head and smiled to let her know not to worry about it. I could tell that she wasn't going to let it go that easily but I turned away from her and smacked right into Edward

I rolled my eyes in annoyance and stepped around him. Why was he constantly around me! Did I no longer have the right to my own space anymore? The Cullens hadn't even been in Denali a full seven days and I was ready for them (Edward) to leave. Then everything would just go back to the way it was! Happy, simple, fun, and easy.

"I'm going for a run," I mumbled to no one in particular as I made my way to the door. I grabbed the door knob but stopped before turning it at the sound of my name.

"Bella?"

"Yea?"

"Mind if I come with?"

I couldn't help the smile that came over my face as I looked over my shoulder at him.

"Of course not, Jasper."

He smiled back and we left together running into the forest. I ran keeping pace with him but I could still tell that he was following me. I had included him in my shield as soon as we had stepped into the trees. Knowing that I had the ability to protect, made me _protective_ and I usually shielded whoever I was with out of habit. He didn't say a word as we ran and the silence was easy and companionable. Jasper was always laid back and calm. His demeanor was infectious and I really enjoyed his company. I was glad that he had wanted to run with me tonight. I was starting to see him as more of a friend than a distraction.

Instead of going to my usual spot I just ran until I felt the urge to stop, which happened to be in a valley that had some of the most lush grass I'd ever seen. I hadn't worn any shoes because I enjoyed feeling the different textures of the earth as I ran and this grass was worth stopping for. I glanced at Jasper's shoes and shook my head in disapproval.

"Take your shoes off," I said and he did it without question. "Doesn't it feel wonderful," I whispered.

"Actually it does," he replied as I crouched down to run my hands through it. I was completely amazed by the grass. It was so thick, green, and soft. This was definitely going to be a spot I revisited often.

"It's so odd being with another person and not sensing anything other than my own feelings. I know that you're feeling something and I'm so curious to know what it is and no matter how hard I try I can't feel a thing," he mused.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" I asked looking up at him but keeping my hands in the grass.

"Not at all," he replied. "It's actually nice. I know you had a strong reaction to the grass but it didn't influence my own reaction when I felt it for myself. It's kind of relaxing to be with someone and only feel what I want."

I smiled, happy that I could offer him peace too. He didn't know that I had made him a distraction against his brother but I still felt better knowing that he would be getting something out of whatever time we spent together too.

"You know it's no problem for me to shield everyone in the house while we're there. If you ever just want some Jasper time and family time simultaneously you could shoot me some kind of signal and I'll help you out," I offered.

He laughed and nodded his head. "Sure. I'll just say something to you but use Isabella instead of just Bella and then you'll know."

"Perfect," I nodded. No one ever called me Isabella except for Kate when she was mad at me which was almost never.

"So do you want me to teach you how to fight now?" he asked.

"Yes!"

I stood up and he came to stand in front of me.

"So your biggest strength is your speed. You'll react faster and make it harder for your attacker to land a blow. We'll start with that. I'm going to try and hit you. Don't worry about trying to hit me in return, just dodge me," he said. "Ready?"

I took an unnecessary deep breath and nodded my head. I had to admit that I was pretty cocky when it came to how fast I was. So I'd already decided that this dodging thing was going to be easy...that was until Jasper's first punch landed right in between my shoulder blades and I stumbled forward.

I had been expecting him to go for my chest or something so when he was suddenly behind me I was confused. By the time I spun around he was behind me again landing another blow to my back. He wasn't hitting hard enough to really hurt me but still enough to make me want to dodge him.

"Come on, B. Stay focused! I won't go easy on you because you'll learn faster this way," he said, never stopping in his movements. "Use your ears and listen to figure out where I'm coming from."

He got at least another ten hits on me before I began to effectively dodge him. That only lasted for a second though because then he started kicking and punching at the same time. It became clear really quick that Jasper was badass.

_**EPOV**_

Fucking Jasper. It was always fucking Jasper! Why did he feel the need to follow her around like some lost puppy! He had his own mate to cling to, why did he need mine too? I didn't even understand why he was suddenly being so damned friendly. Back at home in Forks, he rarely even talked or went anywhere that Alice wasn't going as well. Now all of a sudden he wanted to run with _my _Bella. And to make things worse she had smiled and let him!

I walked into Alice's room and found her staring blankly into space sitting in the middle of her bed. I could see that she was having a vision of some random valley.

"What is that?" I asked.

She blinked and focused her eyes on me as I plopped down on the loveseat in her room.

_"Bella must be shielding Jasper. I can't actually see them but I can see where they are." _she replied in her head and tried again to see Jasper and only coming up with the valley again.

"What the hell are they doing in a valley?"

_"No clue."_

"That doesn't strike you as odd?"

_"No odder than you and your meadow."_

"Yea but I go there to be alone. Are you saying that she took him there so they could be alone?"

Alice looked at me with her brows furrowed in annoyance. _"Are you?"_

I shrugged. "I'm just saying that it's odd."

Alice glared at me in suspicion for a short while before looking away to focus on trying to see Jasper again.


	15. Chapter 15

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**_Thank you Mommakat!_**

* * *

_**TPOV**_

When Bella and Jasper got back, they were both rumpled and dirty. Alice had been pacing the living room waiting for her husband and as soon as he came in she grabbed his hand and pulled him right back out. Bella went up to her room to clean up and then went to the library. I went to join her.

"So I did what you said and he left the club. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I asked her as I sat cross legged on the foot rest in front of her favorite chair.

"I don't know," Bella replied hugging her knees to her chest. "It could be a good thing. Maybe he couldn't stand the sight of you with another guy," she shrugged.

"But I didn't dance with anyone besides Kate. I helped her do the girl on girl thing to reel this guy in," I told her.

"Oh. Well Tanya maybe you should make him talk to you. I mean don't you think you deserve some answers after all this time. You're letting him call all the shots and that's not fair," she said.

I nodded my head. She was right. Why should he be the one directing where this relationship went all the time. I should be able to have some say too. I had been using the excuse of not pushing him for too long now. It was time for me to fight for us because he surely wasn't going to. For all I knew, Edward would let this back and forth go on for eternity. That's not what I wanted and I refused to believe that that's what he wanted.

I thanked Bella and gave her a hug.

"How come you are so much better at this than me? I've been around for damned near a thousand years!" I exclaimed exasperated with myself.

"Because love makes us all stupid and when you're in love with a really hot guy you might as well be brain dead."

I looked at my youngest sister in wonder. She was such a magnificent creature. The newest and prettiest Denali. So small and yet so strong. She adapted to this new life I forced on her with amazing finesse. She was so young but exhibiting control that took me decades to learn. I couldn't help but hug her again.

"I think I'm going to start calling you Yoda," I murmured and we both laughed. "Seriously though I love you, Bella."

"I love you too, Tanya...so much."

I frowned a little at the wistfulness that was now present in her tone but didn't mention it. I left her alone to her book and went to go find Edward. He was outside on the patio by himself. His brows were knit in concentration and he kept running his hand through his hair, something he always did but it occurred more frequently when he was stressed. Part of me wondered if this was the right time have the discussion I had planned but being that he was a mind reader he knew what I was thinking and made the decision himself.

"Sit down," he whispered not looking up to meet my eyes. I was suddenly scared that maybe he was ready to have a conversation as well and part of me feared what he would say.

"I'm sorry, Tanya" he said lowering his voice further and I knew that my fears were confirmed.

I sat beside him on the couch and grabbed his hand. I ran my thumb over his knuckles a few times but he still refused to look at me.

"Can I ask why?" I whispered keeping my tone as low as his had been.

"I just can't anymore Tanya. I've never felt the way you have," he replied.

"What do you mean?"

I thought over all the times he kissed, held and touched me. I recalled the times he'd told me how beautiful I was and the nights we'd passed the time just talking in bed. I remembered the times we'd hunted together and held hands while we just ran for the fun of it. We'd had so many good times together. How could he say that he never felt the way I had.

"Tanya please," Edward groaned beside me pulling his hand away and fisting it in his hair. "I'm sorry I let all that happen. I truly am but I just hoped that I could be happy with you as my girlfriend but that's not what I want from you. You're an amazing person and an even better friend but that's where it ends for me. I can't see you as anything but a friend."

"I don't believe you."

I rapidly pulled from my head all our more intimate moments. I flipped through them quickly but still slowly enough so that he could see them clearly.

"Tanya please stop!" Edward hissed as he shot off the couch and moved to sit across from me in an arm chair. "I was just lonely and..."

"I was just there," I finished for him trying my damnedest to not let him see how hurt I was.

"When you say it like that, it's sounds bad but Tanya I never meant to hurt you. I really thought we could someday be happy together, but things are different now and I can't pretend to want you anymore," he said.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "_When I say it like that_?" I repeated to him in disbelief. "There's no other way to say it! Or maybe you would prefer 'strung me along' or better yet 'you used me' is the best way to put it!"

Edward was suddenly sitting beside me again and grabbing my hands. It was me for the first time ever that pulled away from him. I moved to the other side of the patio and tried to swallow down all that I was feeling.

"Tanya, I'm so sorry! If I could do it all again, I would but I can't. I do love you just not in the way that you want me to! You're my friend and...,"

"Your friend?" I retorted as anger started to take over. "This is how you treat your friends? My sisters are your friends! Have you been letting them jack you off as well!" I screamed.

I would have bet my existence that he went paler than he already was but I was too worked up to take a real interest in that. He opened his mouth as if to say something but I was done listening.

I ran into the house and found it silent but I knew that everyone was still there. Of course everyone had heard. Before I could really feel embarrassed, I found myself wrapped in tiny arms. I hugged Bella back, welcoming the comfort the she was offering.

"Let's go," Kate said opening the front door. Bella grabbed my hand and led me out as Irina followed behind us. We ran into the night and didn't stop until we were as far as Glacier Bay. We all sat in a circle on top of an icy shelf but no one said anything.

We sat in a heavy silence for what seemed like forever. I couldn't stop thinking over the last fifty years with Edward and how it had all meant nothing to him. I was so mad, so hurt, and so confused. I didn't know if my sisters were expecting me to say anything but they didn't probe so I stayed silent.

Irina who was sitting across from me cleared her throat after so long and we all looked over at her.

"Just for the record, I have _never _touched Edward's penis."

We all just stared at her in silence before bursting into side splitting laughter.

_**BPOV**_

When Carlisle told Tanya that he and his family would leave in the morning, I mentally started doing my happy dance. When Tanya promptly told them that they would do no such thing, I physically had to choke down a sob. I had asked her why she didn't want them to leave and she rambled on about Carlisle being one of her best friends and not wanting to ruin their friendship or something silly like that.

Luckily everyone in the house made their best effort to keep things from being awkward and actually pulled it off. Everyone seemed to be continuing their usual activities like nothing had happened. My usual activity of distracting myself from Edward was more important than ever and at the same time harder than ever.

I was so pissed at him. How could he do that to Tanya for all this time? She didn't deserve that. No one did. After our little Sisterhood meeting at Glacier Bay, Tanya had come back to the house and tried to behave as if nothing had happened between her and Edward. She spoke to him all the time and laughed if he said something funny. The only thing was when she spoke, she was always overly polite and when she laughed it never reached her eyes. She was hurt and we all could see it.

My resolve to stay away from him was stronger than ever, but for some reason so was my draw to him. It was at the point where I could sense his every movement. I could pick out the cadence of his foot steps and no matter where he was in the house when he moved I listened with undivided attention. When he spoke, his voice was like my favorite song. Whenever he licked his lips...I won't even say what that did to me.

I was using every bit of every thing I had to avoid him and at the end of every day I was exhausted. I hid in the library as much as I could but if he was still in the house I would catch myself still listening out for him. I was so disappointed in myself.

I sighed and closed the book I was currently reading after 20 minutes of going over the same sentence. I headed to the front door and as I passed the living room I stopped to see if anyone wanted to join me on a hunt.

That was a mistake. That was a _big _mistake.

"I'll come," Edward said standing up from the couch.

I willed myself to keep my breathing steady. I looked to everyone else to see if anyone else wanted to come. Thankfully Old Faithful (Emmett) stood up as well. It didn't matter if he was thirsty or not, he was always game for a hunt.

"Emmett you just hunted yesterday!" Esme said causing me to glare at her. Who was she to tell him when to hunt?

"I know but...," Emmett began but Esme caught him off.

"But nothing. If you're just looking for something to do you can go and fix that dent you put in Carlisle's car wrestling with Jasper yesterday," she told him. Emmett sighed and shuffled off to fix the car.

_Damn you, Esme!_

I looked around at the others but there were no more takers. I looked at Edward and he was smiling that gorgeous smile and seeming just too proud of himself.

"I guess it's just you and me then," he said.

I snorted and turned to go the door, but he sped ahead and opened it for me. I paused to glare at him and he put his hand on the small of my back and guided me forward. Warm tingling heat spread through my entire body and I couldn't stop the small whimper that left me in response. I squeezed my eyes closed in shame and took off running with him following close behind me.

This was going to be _**bad**_.


	16. Chapter 16

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**_Thanks Mommakat!_**

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_**EPOV**_

Bella's legs seemed to move a mile a minute. I didn't worry about catching up to her though. We had things we needed to talk about and I would sit back and let her hunt first. I could hunt after we talked because I was expecting her to try to and evade me but there was no chance in hell I was letting that happen. I didn't want to be in the middle of draining my prey and have her run off before I even noticed.

Up ahead Bella slowed down as she caught the scent of a black fox. I kept a good distance away, but close enough so that I could still see her. I leaned against a tree to watch as she crouched low to the ground behind a small spruce. The last time I'd seen Bella hunt she had been with Emmett and her plan of attack was to be swift and fierce. This time she was all stealth.

I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was completely still and focused. Her body was coiled tight, ready to spring and strike at any moment. She was bare foot and wearing a tiny pink dress that was closer to the length of a shirt. I could see her entire thigh, smooth and firm, shapely and enticing. I could imagine wrapping my hand around it as I hitched it up to my waist.

When Bella finally sprang from behind the spruce her lean lithe body soared through the air stretched out like a jungle cat's. The fox was none the wiser as she snapped its neck and bit into him in the same instant. I slowly moved closer, drawn to the way her lips seemed to kiss her prey. She wrapped her arms around it hugging it to her chest and I found myself jealous of the damned fox. I would give anything to be in his place right now.

Bella finished the fox and moved on to take a small herd of deer before she was sated. I took a deep breath and realized that it was finally time. Bella stood stock still with her back to me. I knew without a doubt that she knew I was behind her and waiting. She had a big advantage over me. I couldn't read her mind so I had no idea what her next move would be. I had to prepare myself for whatever. She was faster than me which meant that I had to be on top of my game if I was going to prevent her from fleeing.

Even though I had just told myself to be prepared for whatever, I was not prepared for her to take to the trees. I had thought she would run away in any direction except for straight up. When she launched herself high into the tree nearest her, I cursed under my breath and sprung into action. She had caught me off guard but I still made excellent reaction time. I opted to stay on the ground. Hopping from branch would slow her down but not by much. I ran on the ground pushing myself as hard as I could and once I was a few feet ahead of her I jumped into a tree and ran back toward her. My plan worked perfectly.

Bella ran straight into my open arms and the collision of our bodies sounded around the forest like an explosion. I wrapped my arms around her immediately in a viselike grip, penning her own in between our bodies. The flimsy branch we'd met on broke under our combined weight and we went crashing to the forest floor. The earth trembled where we landed, Bella on top of me. Before I could even register that sensation, she broke free from me but instead of going forward she moved back first and I had time to get up and catch her again, this time taking hold of her biceps.

"Let go of me!" she shrieked thrashing against my hold.

Being newborn, she was stronger than me but I was determined to hold on keeping in mind that this could be my only chance to talk to her in complete privacy.

"I just want to talk to Bella. Please just listen to me, that's all I'm asking," I plead.

"Please just let me go!" she pled right back looking into my eyes with a distress that my body automatically responded to. I instantly released her and instead of running away she pressed her back against a tree and covered her face with her hands "What do you want from me?" came her muffled voice.

I knew I needed to act fast. She was by some miracle here and waiting for me to speak but there was so much to say and I had no idea where to begin.

"I want to talk about us, Bella," was my brilliant beginning.

She dropped her hands from her face to cross her arms but chose to look off to the side at something in the distance rather than me.

"Us? There is no _us_!" she replied furiously.

She was always so angry with me and I didn't understand why. From the very second we met she had been cold to me and it had just gotten worse every moment thereafter.

"Why can't you just talk to me with even just a speck of civility at least! As soon as I got here it was like you made it up in your head to dislike me. Why?"

Finally her eyes met mine and I was sure that if it were possible her glare would have set me ablaze, "Because there isn't anything to like about you! You're arrogant! You're selfish! You're a liar! You're a user! You hurt my sister for shits and giggles for fifty years! Do you really think I'd like to be friends with someone like you?" she spat at me inserting more venom in her tone with every word.

"Bella you don't even know..."

"No, I don't know you personally, and I'm a better person for it!" she yelled. "But I know what I've heard and you haven't shown me anything to belie that!"

"Because you won't give me a chance to!" I retorted taking a step toward her. She tried to move back but she had set herself against a tree. "What I did to Tanya was fucked up! I'm not denying that! But there's so much more to me and I want more than anything just to show that because then there could be so much more to us!"

"Shut up!" she screamed clasping her hands over her ears and squeezing her eyes closed tight. She shook her head from side to side rapidly. I took the opportunity to place myself directly in front of her.

She appeared to be in anguish and I wanted to make that go away. I knew without a doubt that if she would just let me in, that I could. Our bodies were just inches apart and that delicious energy between us sparked to life. The instant I felt it, her face seemed to crumble even more and I knew that she was moments away from crying. I didn't want to hurt her. I wanted to make her happy, I wanted to make her feel good.

"Open your eyes, Bella," I murmured. "Look at me."

She complied right away and I pulled her hands down from her ears. The static flowed through my body the second we touched. Bella gasped and I knew she felt it too but I needed to hear her say it.

I dropped her left hand but held on to her right. Her left fell slowly grazing my torso as it went. Instead of letting it go all the way to her side she grasped the hem on my shirt in her fist. I turned her right hand clasping it so that the back of her palm was resting on the inside of mine.

"Tell me you feel that, Bella," I whispered huskily. "You feel that connection, that pull to me, that draw between us? Tell me, Bella."

I brought her hand close to my face never breaking eye contact with her. Her breath was ragged and her eyes were wide both in apprehension and anticipation. I slowly brushed my nose against the inside of her wrist. She smelled so good. Her scent was all blossoms and berries , more tempting than any blood there ever was. I had to taste.

"Say it, Bella. Tell me."

I moved her wrist down to my lips and placed an open mouth kiss right where her pulse would have been. She moaned and the sound breezed over my body and down to my groin. I needed to hear it again. She tasted so good and my imagination ran wild with how she might taste elsewhere. I wrapped my other hand around her elbow and gently massaged the soft skin on the inside with my thumb. I licked languid circles on her wrist with the tip of my tongue and she moaned for me again, this time with my name. Her eyes fluttered closed and she took her bottom lip in between her teeth.

"Bella, Tell me," I urged, my mouth still against her wrist. I licked and sucked greedily needing to taste and hear her.

She opened her eyes at the sound of my voice and they pierced right through me.

"I don't feel _anything_."

She wrenched her wrist away from me and pushed me away from her and ran.


	17. Chapter 17

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_**Bella**_ _**POV**_

I ran away from Edward as fast as I could clutching my wrist to my chest as if it were broken. I could here everyone still in the front room so I looped around to the back of the house and entered through the door off the kitchen. I went to the library and locked the door behind me. I knew that it would not be much of a hindrance to anyone in the house if they really wanted to get in here but they would feel it was locked and know to knock.

I pressed my back against the door and slowly slid down so that I was sitting on the floor. I could still feel him. He had touched nothing but my wrists and hands but to me he was everywhere. I could feel him on every strand of hair, down to the marrow in my very bones, the buzz only he could generate was flowing from my scalp to my soles.

Why was he doing this to me?_ How_ was he doing this to me?

I was so consumed by him that I didn't even realize I wasn't alone in the library. I had been staring at a shelf of books until it suddenly morphed into Jasper. I gasped and flinched back in surprise. He was kneeling down in the front of me and staring into my eyes with concern etched into his features.

"Jasper!" I gasped. "How did you get in here!" I glanced behind to make sure that my back was still against the locked door.

"I was already in here when you came in. You didn't know?" he replied.

I shook my head and lifted myself off the floor and he rose with me.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded my head but he didn't buy it.

"Bella you can talk to me you know," he told me dropping his tone. "You don't have to, of course, but if you ever needed to or wanted to I would never tell anyone anything we talked about. I really think of you as a friend and I'd like if you saw me that way as well," he told me, taking my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

I looked into his eyes and knew that he was telling the truth. I was glad that he thought of me as a friend because that's the way I already thought of him. It had never occurred to me to talk to anyone about the way I felt but now that he was offering, I knew that I definitely wanted to.

I trusted Jasper but I knew that there was no way to really guarantee secrecy when it came to Edward. What if Jasper happened to be thinking about something I said while Edward was in the room? Edward would know and he would be relentless from then on. I suppose I could just shield him all the time but that may start to raise suspicion after a while.

"Jasper you can't really promise me discretion. With Ed...," I began but he cut me off with a dismissing wave of his hand.

"There are ways to block Edward. My wife is a master in that art and I have been trained under her," he smiled.

I sighed and nodded my head, "Come on. We can't talk here."

I led Jasper out of the house through the kitchen where I had just entered minutes ago. I led him to my special place and sat under the tree instead of in it. Jasper sat across from me on the ground and waited patiently for me to speak, but I didn't know where to start.

I didn't really feel like the beginning was the best place. Everything was so complicated and I felt like maybe I should just get to the heart of the matter.

"It's Edward," I said.

Jasper who had been taking in the scenery refocused his attention back on me and quirked a brow in question.

"I have all these feelings for him Jasper. I can't stop thinking about him. No matter how hard I try to stay away or distract myself, he's always there and in my thoughts. But he was with Tanya first and she loved him, probably still loves him. I don't want to hurt her. Edward did a fine job of that himself and I don't want to make it worse. He feels something for me too and keeps trying to get me to admit that we feel the same, but I can't Jasper. I want to, I really want to but I won't do that to my sister," I said.

Jasper nodded his head slowly and seemed to be mulling over what I said before speaking, "When did you realize that you liked him?"

"The second he walked through our door. It was like I was drawn to him And it's so hard not to be around him because it's almost like I need to be. It drives me so crazy and it's exhausting."

"Wow. I have to admit I always thought you hated him," Jasper sighed.

"That's what everyone thinks. That's what I _want_ everyone to think, especially Tanya. I wanted Edward to think that I hate him too but he's nearly impossible to convince! There's like this spark whenever we touch. He feels it and he knows that I feel it too but I refuse to tell him he's right. And then today...," I trailed off with a groan.

I could still remember with perfect clarity how his touch had made me feel. How my body responded and yearned for him, how it killed me to lie to him, and how it broke my heart to see the look on his face when I did. I knew that I had disappointed and hurt him which made me hurt _for_ him and feel disappointed in myself. I hated to do that to him but I had no other choice.

"Bella, what happened today?" Jasper asked pulling me back to the present. I rehashed what happened between Edward and I in the forest giving him every detail more to relive it in my head than anything else. As I finished my story, a worried expression took over his face.

"What?" I asked. "What's wrong."

"Bella can you share with me how Edward makes you feel?"

His face and tone were starting to make me worried. I knew what he was asking and I rarely ever took down my shield. It was a part of me and I hated how vulnerable I felt in it's absence. However, I knew that Jasper wouldn't hurt me but his tone and expression told me letting him feel what I was feeling was something of importance...and that scared me.

"No offense Jasper but I really don't like taking my shield down. Actually I don't even want to talk about this anymore. I can handle Edward," I said.

"But Bella I really think...,"

"Jasper please!"

He sighed and shook his head. He stared into his lap for a long time until I grabbed his hand. "Jasper, I'll be fine," I assured him.

"But that's the thing. I really don't think you will...,"

"Tell me about you!" I exclaimed talking over him.

I was suddenly deathly afraid of what Jasper was trying so hard to tell me. A part of me knew that whatever it was would change everything and I didn't need that right now. The Cullens would only be here for two more weeks. If I could just keep fighting for 14 days everything would be fine.

Jasper remained quiet for a whole two minutes before his shoulders finally slumped in defeat.

"What do you want to know?" he asked.

"Tell me about your scars. I didn't even know we could have them. Are they bite marks? That's what the look like," I said.

As Jasper began his story, he became my distraction once more. I was completely enthralled, terrorized, and saddened by what he said. He told me of his creator, how she treated and used him. He described with great detail the fighting, wars, pain, death, and savageness of his old life style. He confirmed that his scars were in fact bite marks and that our venom was the only thing that could scar our skin. He told me about his depression and his struggle to abstain. When he finished his tale, I saw him in a whole new light.

"So that's how you learned to fight. That's how you knew how to teach me," I breathed feeling guilty that I'd had so much fun while it probably brought up bad memories for him. "I'm sorry Jasper. If I had known, I would have never asked...," I began but he cut me off.

"You didn't ask me. I offered to teach you how to fight so that you could get your revenge on Emmett. I don't mind teaching you Bella. Your shield protects you from vampiric gifts but if someone wanted to physically harm you, your shield would not help. You need to be able to defend yourself," he said.

I nodded my head because everything he said was the truth, "Thank you," I said not really sure what else to say.

"I really don't mind. You're the most controlled newborn I've ever seen. You have no idea how unique you are," he replied.

I smiled shyly and shook my head. "Whatever," I said not feeling like I really deserved praise from someone like Jasper. "You're a survivor man! I mean look at you. After all you've been through, you're here and you're sane. You changed your whole life around and I'm in awe of you," I told him.

During his story Jasper had pushed up his shirt sleeve to show me more of his battle wounds. I grabbed and extended his arm out toward me.

"May I?" I asked lifting my hand to hover over his arm. He nodded his head and I finally got to do what I had wanted since I laid eyes on him.

I traced just my fingertips over his skin. It was still smooth but the raised marks made me feel like I was touching some intricate design, some ornate piece of sculpted work that had no rhyme or rhythm. His skin was decorated with the chaos that was his past.

I leaned in close over his arm, inspecting every millimeter. With my face so close I could smell a different scent coming from every scar. They were muted but there. Only up close like this could you really smell the differences because any further the scents just all came together to make a fragrance that was exclusively Jasper; cinnamon, apples, and wood. I brought my face even closer so my nose and cheek were grazing his skin.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" a voice exclaimed. I looked up just in time to see Irina turn her back from us as if to shield herself from something embarrassing. "I really didn't mean to interrupt. Just come home when you're done!"

Irina fled away and I just stared open mouthed. Neither Jasper nor I had heard her approach. I looked down at the way I had been touching his arm gently with my fingertips and rubbing my face against his skin.

I could only imagine what Irina thought she had walked in on.


	18. Chapter 18

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_**EPOV**_

I sat at my piano with Esme at my side watching me play. She was patiently waiting for me to tell her what happened on the private hunting trip she had helped me secure with Bella. I was going to tell her of course. She was my only ally in this situation, I just wanted to process it myself first. It had gone the complete opposite of how I wanted it to.

I knew that Bella would be difficult but I'd hoped that I would be able to get her to own up to her feelings. Instead we'd ended up arguing but I guess it was good to have a little more insight as to why she always was so hostile when it came to me.

I had never regretted my actions with Tanya more than I did now. Tanya's feelings for me were a problem that Esme had already made me aware of but now my feelings for Tanya were a problem too, because when you really boiled it down, I _had_ used her. Why would any girl readily fall into the arms of the guy that had used her sister? I had to find a way to atone and show Bella I wouldn't do the same with her.

Then on top of everything, I had to admit that my ego was a little hurt. Maybe trying to seduce the truth out of Bella wasn't really the brightest thing to do but it had just happened and maybe a small part of me thought it just might have worked. I'd let my body take control and the next thing I knew I was making out with her wrist. Her moans had only encouraged me, but when she looked at me with fire in her eyes and told me she didn't feel anything, it was like a junk punch. I was starting to doubt Esme and myself. Was I really not effecting her, the way she effected me?

Before I got a chance to talk to Esme though, lewd thoughts attacked my brain. Irina came into the house thinking very hard about the time she'd spent with some Romanian prince some decades back. The images disturbed me deeply. How was it even possible to contort a body like that?

"IRINA!" I yelled trying to get her to end that line of thought but she only seemed to concentrate harder. Too hard. She was trying to block me from something. I would have just left it alone but then Bella came running full speed into the house with Jasper trailing behind her. He was focusing on some newborn he'd fought with back when he was with Maria that had been particularly out of control. Jasper hardly _ever _thought about his time with Maria even when he was trying to block me like now, I had to see what was going on.

I ran into the front hall with Esme following me. I heard Esme ask me what was wrong but I had to figure that out first myself. My eyes locked with Bella's as I rounded the corner and suddenly both Irina and Jasper's minds were silent.

"Irina come back outside with me," Bella said with badly feigned nonchalance as she reached her hand out for Irina to grab.

"What are you trying to hide?" I asked looking between Irina and Jasper. She kept eye contact with Bella trying to communicate something silently as Jasper tried to use his influence to calm everyone down, except for Bella of course.

"Jasper, will you cut it the fuck out?" I said sounding much less harsh than I'd wanted since I had no choice but to feel all cool and calm.

Alice suddenly appeared beside me and looked between Bella and Jasper. Bella averted her eyes and though Jasper's face remained passive, his body shifted away from Bella.

"_What happened?" _Alice silently asked but I had no answers to give her so I simply shrugged.

"Will someone please say something!" Esme exclaimed in frustration.

Bella laughed and shook her head in exasperation, still trying too hard to be nonchalant. "I just want to talk to my sister. I don't know why Edward came barging in here like a mad man," she said pulling Irina back toward the door but Alice's hand shot out to take Irina's other hand.

"Oh dear God," Irina muttered under her breath, clearly in distress.

"Why _did_ you barge in here like a mad man," Alice asked.

"Because he is a mad man!" Bella exclaimed before I could say anything. She tried to pull Irina again but Alice wasn't having it.

"I believe I asked Edward," Alice snapped, her eyes blazing.

Part of me didn't want to say anything. It was obvious that whatever had happened it had involved Bella and Jasper but I didn't want to get Bella into trouble. She had enough reasons to hate me and I didn't want to add to that when I didn't really have any details to what actually happened.

I knew that Alice wasn't going to let it go since I had already put it in her head that things weren't exactly kosher between her husband and Bella. So I decided to tweak my response a little.

"Bella and Irina were hiding something. I was just curious to know what it was," I said smiling down at Alice.

"So what did you have to do with it?" Alice asked turning to Jasper.

Jasper snorted a laugh crossing his arms and leaning against the hall. "Bella's right, Edward is a mad man. He was extremely jealous for no reason. I came to calm him down. He didn't want me to," he answered easily.

He was way better at keeping cool than Bella but Alice was not easily swayed. I could see more questions floating around her head. The most pressing was, what had Jasper been doing before he got here? Alice knew that he had been with Bella because she had searched his future and just came up with another vision of vacant location. She decided to let it go for now though.

"Come," Alice demanded reaching her hand out for Jasper and he immediately took it. Bella relinquished him from her shield, but he was still thinking of Maria's newborn. Alice led him up the stairs and I glared at him as he passed but the look he gave me back was something close to... sympathy?

Now that Alice was no longer keeping Irina, Bella started towing her toward the door again. Bella glanced over her shoulder at me just before stepping out on the porch and her expression was...grateful?

What the fuck was really going on?

_**BPOV**_

"Bella you're playing a very dangerous game! Jasper is mated already!" Irina exclaimed.

"It wasn't like that Irina, I promise! I just wanted to feel him!" I replied earnestly but I realized that, that didn't really sound right by the look on Irina's face.

"Okay, Jasper is gorgeous. I completely understand you having some kind feelings for him, but there is no way in hell that he's going to want you!" She said.

I flinched, feeling a little stung by her words. What the hell was that supposed to mean? No, I really didn't have feelings for Jasper besides those one would have for a friend, but was she trying to insinuate something about me?

"Yea, because I'm so repulsive, right?" I scoffed crossing my arms and she rolled her eyes in response.

"Stop fishing for compliments, you hag! He would be insane not to find you attractive too. I only said that because Jasper is mated! He'll only have eyes for Alice for as long as he exists," she replied.

"Mated? What the hell does that mean?" I asked thoroughly confused.

Irina sighed and pulled me to her side wrapping her arm around my waist. "That means that Alice is his soulmate, his other half, the yin to his yang," she explained. "When vampires find their mate, the deal is sealed. Your mate owns you mind, body, and soul, B. He'll never be attracted to anyone else again. It's powerful stuff, ya know. Actual love at first sight, you had me at hello, type of stuff. It doesn't matter if you don't know that person from Eve. As soon as you see them, you know that they are the bees knees and they're all you'll ever want or need. I can't really explain it right because it never had happened to me before. It's never happened to Tanya or Kate either and I guess that's why we never thought to tell you about it before now," Irina said.

"The point is, Bella, Jasper will never return your feelings and if you keep going on like you are, Alice will go ape shit on you. Mates get really territorial. It's like when you hunt and somebody tries to steal your prey but worse! She could kill you, B!" Irina exclaimed hugging me tightly.

I stood limply in Irina's arms. I hadn't heard anything behind her mating description. It sounded really intense even with Irina's silly explanation of it. My mind was racing with all kinds of questions. Love at first sight? All you'll ever want? Owns you mind, body, and soul? Most importantly why did Edward keep coming to mind?

_**TPOV**_

Now I regretted not letting the Cullen's leave when Carlisle had offered to after my argument with Edward. After Irina had informed me and Kate of Bella's feelings for Jasper, I realized it would have been better if she was no longer around him. Irina had told us about how upset Bella looked after Irina told her about mating. I knew how I felt after Edward told me he didn't want me and I knew Bella must be feeling the same. I suffered everyday being around Edward knowing that I couldn't have him and I didn't want Bella to suffer like that too. But now there was no way to make the Cullens leave without seeming rude.

When I got back to the house, Bella was sitting in the living room playing some football video game with Emmett. He was having fun but Bella looked every uncomfortable. It was probably because Edward was damned near sitting on her lap! She couldn't be comfortable squished in between the brick wall that was Emmett and the constant annoyance that was Edward. The second the thought went through my mind, Edward gave Bella some space but not much.

_"It's a big couch, Edward! Stop being weird! She's not your biggest fan. You're probably really annoying her!" _I thought angrily.

Edward rolled his eyes but stayed put. I scoffed and went to sit on the loveseat. Bella lost the game to Emmett, because she had no room to move her arms, no doubt.

"Take that!" Emmett yelled victoriously.

"You cheated Emmett! When Bella's team started winning, you started using every cheat code in the book," Edward shot back.

"Shut up, Edward! A win is a win! It's not my fault that she doesn't know the codes!" Emmett retorted.

"It is your fault! You taught her everything but the codes! You were planning to cheat from the very beginning!"

I looked between Edward and Emmett in bewilderment. Why was Edward making such a big deal about this? I mean Emmett, I could understand. He was a perpetual child. Edward however was not and only played video games to humor his brother. Why was he so interested now? What was different?

Different.

Then it dawned on me. When Edward "broke up" with me, he said things were different now. That was the question I should have been asking myself all along.

He had been so worried when Bella ran out the first day the Cullens arrived because she wasn't comfortable with all the gifts pressing against her shield. He seemed genuinely hurt when Bella had belittled his piano skills. Irina had said he was jealous when Bella came back with Jasper. He was sitting so close to her and the little space he had given her was now gone. His arm had also found it's way to the back of the couch where Bella was sitting. He was way too upset that Emmett had cheated her.

Things were different now.

A prettier vampire lived in Denali!

Edward's eyes slowly traveled over to mine and I gathered all my rage to bestow upon him my fiercest glare.

_"Outside. NOW!"_


	19. Chapter 19

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_**TPOV**_

"If you think for one second that I'm going to let you anywhere near Bella, you're a bigger idiot than I thought," I spat as soon we were out of earshot.

I usually liked to communicate with Edward through my thoughts but it seemed like vocal yelling would just be more satisfying right now.

"Tanya, I really care about Bella," Edward said trying to be earnest but I just saw it as pathetic.

"Oh please Edward," I scoffed crossing my arms over my chest. "Are you serious? Do you really want to go that route with me?" I asked incredulously. "I've heard it all before and I'll do everything in my power to keep Bella from having to hear those same lies!"

Edward sighed and shook his head. He took a step closer to me but I took a step back. I wouldn't give him the chance to charm me into submission, dazzle me into surrendering. If he had the slightest opening, I knew he would take it, and he would succeed. Edward always had been and probably always would be my weakness.

"Tanya I'm not going to use her!" Edward exclaimed.

"You aren't? Because I can totally see your angle. Really, Edward I get it. Bella's so pretty. Her face so lovely and angelic but her personality passionate and fierce. So small yet so strong and fast. I understand your desire for her but Edward please don't do this. She's my sister for Christ sake! She may not always seem like it but she's innocent and I won't allow her to be your next play thing!" I said.

"I was a dick to you Tanya. I know that but I won't be that way with Bella. She's special and I've never felt this way about anyone before. I wouldn't hurt her," Edward replied.

I couldn't help but feel stung by his words. He had, had no problem hurting me. The wound was still fresh and I didn't want to hear about him having feelings for anyone else. It wasn't so long ago that I was the person he was saying he cared about. I knew that they were lies but I had believed them. I wouldn't make that mistake again and endanger Bella's feelings. Edward was a great liar. I had been sorely disappointed upon learning that about him but I was glad now. I could save Bella from him.

"I'm not the villain you're trying to make me out as! Please understand that it was never my intention to hurt you. I would have stayed with you. I really did and still do enjoy your company," he told me. "I was lonely Tanya, I've been alone for over a century...," he began but I cut him off.

"A century? You think it's okay to use people because you've been lonely for a measly century! Carlisle was alone over three hundred years before he met Esme and he never used anyone! I've been alone for a fucking millennia and I've never used anyone!" I yelled starting to really get pissed off.

Did he really think that was a good excuse?

"You didn't have to live around three mated couples either, Tanya! And I won't believe for one second that you were lonely! Because actually you do use people! You've used thousands of men! You and your sisters go out, find men, get off, and move on!" Edward yelled.

I never made a real conscious decision to slap him but that's exactly what I did. I didn't even realize what had happened until I felt the slight sting in my palm.

"One, we find men that we actually do like and carry on real relationships for as long as we are able. Two, just because I don't choose to sit around and mope about not having someone to share eternity with doesn't mean I'm not lonely. Three, Bella fucking hates you. She could see how big of a prick you were before she even met you! You don't have a shot in hell with her! She wouldn't touch you to save her own life!" I seethed.

I replayed every negative word Bella had said about him in my head. I watched the dismay that settled over his features as he saw it all. I wasn't ashamed to say that I got a sick satisfaction out of it. I was glad that I could hurt him back.

"You stay away from her, Edward. Bella deserves someone with way more than you have to offer. You're just a pretty face and while that may be good enough for you I know that Bella is looking for something real. I don't want to hurt you Edward, but for her I will," I said before storming off.

_**EPOV**_

I didn't want to believe Tanya but all the memories she had of Bella talking about me were true. I couldn't always tell the difference when someone tried to show me fabricated memories. I wanted to be sure that Bella was my mate but really it just didn't seem like it could really be true. I didn't have much reason to believe that it was. Proof of Bella's feelings for me was hard to come by and I was starting to think that Esme may have been mistaken.

When I got back to the house, I could hear in the minds of my family that there was some kind of trip to a beach being planned. I didn't really feel like going but Bella was and I couldn't pass the opportunity to see her wet and in a bikini. I knew that alone time with Bella was going to be hard to come by with Tanya on the case now but I was still going to try. I had to.

We all piled into cars with tons of crap for the trip. It was cold outside and no human would be caught dead at a beach right now. It was the perfect time for us to go. Temperatures had no effect on us and we could be free to be ourselves and have some real fun.

The beach was enclosed in a forest and we had a twenty mile hike into the woods after a two hour drive. When we reached the beach Kate and Carlisle began setting up a volleyball net, Rosalie and Irina began setting up beach chairs and Emmett who fully intended to make the best of this trip was running back and forth to the car bringing back jet skis that he'd bought for the occasion.

I looked around for Bella, the person I'd come on this trip for and I found her kicking off her shoes and making her way back into the woods. She was wearing a tiny jean skirt with a tattered and frayed hem with some sort of bikini top that was just a black scrap of fabric going around her bust. I knew that Bella was probably about to go and explore the woods. She did that often.

I looked around to see where Tanya was and she was already out in the water with Alice and Esme. If I was going to get a chance to talk to her anytime today, this was it. Once Bella was in the trees I made sure that no one was paying attention to me and ran to catch up to her.

"Please go away," Bella said the instant I appeared at her side.

"I just want to walk with you," I replied.

She stopped walking with a sigh and placed her hands on her hips, "Look, Edward I'm really tired of whatever it is you're trying to do here. All I want is for you to leave me alone," she said sounding truly exhausted. I considered backing off. Maybe I was really chasing her for something that wasn't real, but that draw that I feel for her told me different.

"Bella I just want to walk with you. We don't have to talk and I won't touch you. Can we just walk," I pled staring into her eyes imploringly.

She opened her mouth to say something but then closed it again. I tried not to get my hopes up because that's what led to me being hurt on the hunt. I waited for her to say something but she never did. She just started walking again and when I followed she didn't object.

I threw myself a congratulatory party in my head. It was a small victory but a victory none the less. We walked side my side at a human pace in complete silence. It was comfortable and I found myself enjoying the sound of her odd but measured breathing as her scent swirled around me. She inhaled deeply and slowly but exhaled quickly, like she was savoring the air as it came in and let it out quickly eager for the next intake.

I watched her closely as we moved through the trees. Bella observed everything around her, letting her fingers graze every tree, leaf, flower, and plant her slightly outstretched hand could reach. She stopped every once in a while to lean in and smell certain things. Her eyes swept over things, constantly moving inside the sockets. She was entranced by our surroundings, I was entranced by her.

We had been walking for about a half hour when Bella abruptly stopped and emitted a small strangled yelp. Her body went rigidly still as her eyes widened in sheer terror. The expression of pure horror on her face was one that I would never forget and I instinctively pulled her into my arms to protect and comfort her. She wrapped her arms around my waist squeezing me almost painfully tight as she buried her face in my chest.

"What is it, Bella. Tell me what's wrong?" I asked frantically scanning the woods to try and see what had scared her. The only thing I could see was a pack of wolves about 50 yards away feeding on a deer. I didn't know why or if they had caused her fright I but let out a fierce growl loud enough for them to hear me causing Bella to clutch me tighter. The sound had it's desired effect as it sent them scurrying away and I brought up a hand to rub the back of her head.

"It's okay baby, they're gone now. I made them go away, you're alright," I whispered to her. I rested my head atop hers and held her close until I felt her body completely relax again. She let out a sigh of relief and I leaned my torso back to see her face but kept her in my arms. She felt right there.

I felt good seeing the fear was gone as I looked into her brilliant golden eyes. I was overjoyed that she had not only allowed me to comfort her but that she had come to me for it. She sought protection in my arms and I was proud to have insured that she found it there.

When she averted her eyes and pulled away from me I could see that she was embarrassed but there was no need to be. She started walking back toward the beach but I grabbed her hand.

"Bella wait! What just happened?" I asked searching her face for the answer.

"Nothing, it was nothing. Let's just get back okay?" She said trying to turn back but I held firm.

"Bella talk to me. I've never seen anyone that afraid before. Just tell me what happened to you."

She chewed on her bottom lip and fisted her hand in her hair. She was so flustered and the fear was starting to creep back into her eyes. I pulled her into my arms again and soothed her like I had before.

"You can talk to me, Bella," I told her.

She stayed silent for a beat longer before she started her story. "They attacked me and my step dad. He died but Tanya saved me. The wolves were hunting a deer and we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. The deer crashed into Phil, the antlers tore straight through his face. The wolves smelled the blood and decided we would make better prey than the deer. I watched them tear him to pieces. He was just screaming so loud as they ate him alive. When they got to me...it just hurt so bad," she cringed as she remembered the pain. "And Tanya and Kate came. Kate took care of the wolves. Tanya tried to get me to the hospital but I wouldn't have made it, so she saved me herself."

I pulled her tighter, not even able to imagine the pain she must have felt and then thrust into more pain as she began her transformation. The events leading to Bella's change had been similar to Emmett's except he hadn't had to watch a member of his family die first all the while knowing he was next. I knew something of his pain whenever he randomly thought of it and I had no way of knowing if Bella had felt the same or worse. Neither option sat well with me. I didn't want her being in any pain.

"They won't be able to hurt you anymore Bella. You're so much more powerful than them. You don't ever have to fear them again. They should fear you now," I murmured.

"I know!" she exclaimed looking up at me. "That's why I'm so embarrassed! I know that they can't hurt me but I just got so scared thinking back to the last time I saw a wolf and that was stupid!"

"It wasn't stupid! It's only natural to feel some fear for something that wanted and tried to kill you," I said.

She groaned not seeming quite convinced and covered her face with her hands. I pulled them down not liking not being able to see her.

"You don't have to be embarrassed in front of me, you don't have to hide from me."

She looked up into my eyes with a look of wonder. There was something else there that I couldn't quite make out...longing maybe. She blinked, shaking her head as if to clear it and suddenly pulled away from me.

"What am I doing?" she muttered to herself.

"Bella don't," I begged not wanting to lose her, not wanting to ruin this moment. She had been comfortable with me, she had let me protect, hold and comfort her. We had talked without all the inexplicable rage and it felt good, it felt great.

"Edward I won't! I can't do this with you!" she exclaimed. backing away but I pursued her.

"Why not? Bella I know that you feel the same way about me, as I feel about you. I know because it's impossible for you not to," I said. I caught her wrist and pulled her to me. She tried to wriggle free but I slid my hand up the nape of her neck and into her hair. She calmed and looked into my eyes with too many emotions swimming in her own. Yearning. Distress. Fear. Defiance. Anger. Determination.

"Bella I know you feel it because you're my mate." She groaned as if in pain but I kept talking. I had to make her see. "We're made for each other. The moment I saw you, everything else ceased to matter. Everything is about you. All of me, is for you," I said.

She shook her head as if in disbelief or to deny it but I could see the truth in her eyes. She did believe. She did know.

"This would kill Tanya. This would hurt her. _I_ would hurt her and I refuse to do that. She saved me. She's my sister. She loved you and you used her. My sisters are all I have. I won't mess this up. I won't give up my family, the first _real_ family I've ever had. Don't make me do this, Edward," she said.

She pulled away from me and this time I let her go. She ran back to the beach and though I understood her fears and knew that they posed a legitimate problem for us, I couldn't help but be happy for the progress we'd made. I now knew for sure that she felt the same. There were still so many hurdles but her admission had given me the much needed boost of encouragement to take to jump them all.


	20. Chapter 20

_**SM owns.**_

**_Thanks Mommakat!_**

* * *

_**BPOV**_

"Hey what happened to you. I just looked up and you were gone," Tanya said coming into my room and sitting beside me on my window seat.

"Oh, I went for a walk in the woods surrounding the beach. I came across these wolves and I just freaked myself out. I didn't feel like being at the beach anymore," I replied telling a half truth. The wolves had scared me but they were not the reason I decided to leave.

Sympathy covered her face and she leaned in to wrap her arms around me. I accepted her comfort and rested my head on her shoulder. She loved me so much and it was at times like these that I knew I was doing the right thing with Edward.

After what happened with him, I had needed to come home and reaffirm my resolve to stay away from him. When he had held me in his arms and soothed me just with his voice, my will had been ripped to shreds. In that moment I had been thrust into confusion. I instantly started questioning my priorities, my reasoning, and how strong my feelings actually were for Edward.

Now that we had acknowledged each other as mates, everything was different. I wasn't entirely sure that I wanted to forsake him for my sister. I was already feeling a loss, by not being with him. It was so intense it was almost painful. I didn't want to live out eternity feeling this way.

When Edward had first arrived, I'd decorated him up in my mind as a bad person, a villain of sorts, but today he made me see different. Today he had showed me a caring side. He showed me a person who could be lovingly gentle and fiercely protective of a girl who constantly treated him like shit. He couldn't be the villain anymore.

I had tried to pass off what I felt for him as just attraction. Because he was so beautiful, that was easy to do. I could no longer pretend though that what I felt was a reaction to his handsome godlike face. I was attracted to _him_, Edward the man.

I wanted him, craved him..._needed_ him. I had never felt as safe as I had with him. He'd held me and everything just fell into place. I felt perfect cocooned in him. Every curve of my body was accommodated by his, like corresponding puzzle pieces.

I had to accept these things as true and then move on. Edward was mine but I could never have him. Life wasn't fair and I had never realized that more than I did right now.

Tanya pulled back so that she could push my hair behind my ear and look into my eyes.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

I nodded my head but I wasn't even convincing to myself.

"Bella?" Tanya said softly, waiting for me to look up at her. When I finally did, she sighed and moved a little closer to me. "When you were walking in the woods did...Edward go with you," she asked.

Oh God. Where was she going with this. I kept my face calm as I answered but on the inside fear and panic were roiling inside me.

"Yes."

"Oh Bella I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed. "I promised myself that I would keep him away from you. I've been noticing the way he acts around you. I know that you don't like him and he's probably making you uncomfortable. I'm doing a shit job already," she groaned disappointed in herself.

I felt better and worse at the same time. I felt better because she clearly wasn't aware that I was attracted to him. I felt worse because the same could not be said for Edward.

"Tanya don't worry about it," I said placing my hand on top of hers. "I can handle Edward. You don't have to be my guard dog," I told her with a plastered smile on my face.

"I know. I'm just so hurt and disappointed. I always thought that Edward was such a great guy. I really thought he cared about me you know," she said training her eyes on her lap. "It was all just an act though. He's all charm and lies. He used me and now he's coming after you. My sister! I don't want him to do to you what he did to me," Tanya responded.

"That will never happen," I said. "I don't even like Edward as a person. I would never let him get close enough to actually try and start some type of relationship," I said. The lies I told left a bad taste in my mouth. I was ashamed of myself knowing that I had let Edward get close just hours ago.

"You're right," Tanya nodded smiling. "You're too smart for him. You see through all the bullshit," she laughed.

She stood up but not before giving me another hug. "Don't worry about those damn wolves either. You can kick their asses now. They taste pretty awesome too, just so you know," she said with a wink before leaving my room closing the door behind her.

I sighed and pulled my knees up to my chest. The wolves were the very least of my worries right now.

_**EPOV**_

"You have to move slowly Edward. Try being her friend first. You haven't been shown in the greatest light here. You need to show her how good you are," Esme said.

I nodded my head absorbing everything she said. I'd told her everything that happened starting from the hunt all the way to our walk on the beach. It was so good having someone to talk to. Especially a woman. I figured she would have more insight into what Bella was feeling or thinking than me or another guy would.

"But what about Jasper. There's no way possible there could be anything going on there, right," I asked.

Esme shook her head. "Of course not. Jasper would never do anything to hurt Alice. And whether Bella likes it or not she _is_ your mate. She isn't capable of wanting anyone but you," she tried to assure me.

Somehow I still wasn't convinced. I'd seen her with that guy at the club that night. She looked like she wanted him. And what had she done with Jasper that day that had upset Irina and made them feel compelled to hide it. There were too many unknowns and I realized that I needed to talk to either Irina or Jasper. I didn't want to go to Bella. I didn't want to risk jeopardizing the progress we'd made.

"Edward be patient, if not for yourself, do it for Bella. Be secure in the knowledge that she feels the same. Nothing else matters but it'll all work out. The long battle will only make the victory sweeter," she told me, fruitlessly trying to push my hair back.

"Thank you Esme," I smiled. "I really appreciate all your help," I told her.

"What? You don't have to thank me! I've been waiting for this opportunity for nearly 80 years!" she laughed before kissing my temple and leaving me alone to think.

I went to go play my piano. There had been a melody forming in my head ever since I'd embarked on that walk with Bella. I knew the song would be for her. It sounded just like her. I just needed to fine tune it, bring all the components together and make it perfect, like her.

Five minutes later the song was complete. Putting the notes together had been a lot easier than I'd thought. When my fingers touched the keys the music just came.

_"You just play that for her. It sounds just like her. She'll love it."_

I looked over to see Jasper leaning against the door frame. I knew the _her_ he was talking about and that made me insanely jealous. He got to spend so much time with her, he knew her so much better than me. The jealously only lasted mere seconds though because Jasper was quick to calm me.

_"Edward you must know there's nothing going on between me and Bella. I could feel the emotions coming off you while you played. I know what they mean, you know what they mean, and I'm sure Bella has some idea of what it means," _Jasper thought.

I sighed and nodded my head. "She talks to you?"

Jasper nodded. _"She's scared Edward, that's all. Everything in this life is new to her. She has been given so much to deal with in such a short time. Soothe her. Comfort her."_

Esme had said something to that same effect. I was finally starting to realize how aggressive I had been. It was probably doing me more harm than good. I started to prepare myself to fall back a little. I knew that it was going to be hard because I wanted her so bad and I'd waited for her for so long. If I didn't slow down though, I knew I'd be waiting a lot longer though.

I had almost forgotten Jasper's presence but then the most intoxicating scent filled my nose as light graceful footsteps sounded down the hall coming this way. I looked up just in time to see Bella lace her fingers with Jasper's.

So intimate.

She glanced at me and moved closer to him as she looked up into his eyes. "Will you come run with me?" she asked softly. Her voice pleading and almost childlike.

"Of course," Jasper told her while simultaneously calming my fresh bout of jealousy.

_"I'll do all that I can to help you Edward but you have to control yourself," _Jasper thought. I nodded to let him know I'd heard but I couldn't take my eyes off their joined hands. Would he really help me?

"Come on, Jasper," Bella said gently tugging him away. She glanced between us quickly before settling her eyes on me. "We'll...I'll see you later Edward," she muttered with a small smile.

"Later," I smiled, feeling warmed that she had spoken to me.

Calm. Calm was the key.


	21. Chapter 21

_**SM owns.**_

**_Thank you so much Mommakat!_**

* * *

_**BPOV**_

"If you still think you can stay away from him then I don't think you really understand what a mate is," Jasper said.

I could hear the frustration in his tone but I knew that I could fight this. I could hold out for just two more weeks.

"How do you know? Have you ever tried to stay away from Alice?" I challenged.

He clutched his stomach and shook his head. "Just the thought makes me sick," he replied and I just rolled my eyes in response.

"Would you do it to Carlisle?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"If you were in my place and Carlisle was in Tanya's. I know that Carlisle isn't your sire but imagine that he was. Pretend it was him that saved you from a lonely existence and made everything better," I said. "Now imagine him having a relationship with Alice for fifty years. Then you meet Alice and she decides to break Carlisle's heart because of you. You've listened and advised Carlisle against Alice before you even met her. So when Alice finally came to you would you do it to Carlisle?"

I stared into Jasper's eyes and I saw exactly what I wanted to. Hesitation.

"Not so easy is it?" I asked.

"Bella I'm not saying that you're not in a shitty situation because you are. But if I were in your place, yes I would do it to Carlisle. Alice is _everything _to me and if I have to go the rest of eternity with only her in my life I would be completely and utterly happy," Jasper replied.

I would have liked to say that I could hear uncertainty or see the lie on his face but I didn't.

"We're different then. Maybe I'm stronger than you," I shrugged.

Jasper laughed so loud that the sound sent little forest animals fleeing. His whole body shook as he fell back on the ground consumed by his laughter. I tried really hard not to break my serious countenance but his laughter was infectious and I began giggling as well.

"Very funny Bella, but get real," he finally said.

"Jasper, seriously, I could totally kick your ass."

"Bella, I taught you every thing you know! There's no way you could kick my ass."

I raised a questioning brow and he responded with a yawn.

So I lunged.

We grappled on the ground for what seemed like forever. Jasper was really badass. I had learned the ways of the badass myself, but it was not enough though.

"So what were you saying?" Jasper asked as he held me down on my knees in a chokehold. I was trying to stand up but he putting all his weight on me.

"You cheated!"

He tightened his arm around my neck and I'm sure if I was human every bone would have been broken.

"Okay! You're stronger!"

"Will you at least reconsider not staying away from Edward?"

"No!"

He tightened his arm.

"You're going to take my head off!" I screamed and felt him shrug his shoulders behind me.

"I'll put it back on."

"Jasper!"

"Reconsider Bella."

"...Fine."

He let me go and I punched him in the chest before rubbing my neck.

"Asshole." I grumbled more upset that he had beat me than anything else.

He smiled and came to give me a hug. "Come on. You know I wouldn't really take your head off, darlin," he said and I nodded. "But seriously Bella. I know what I'm talking about. Edward is more important to you than you know right now. You could literally go insane trying to resist the bond you two have," he told me.

I shook my head. "I may not be a better fighter than you but I can do this Jasper. I'll be fine. See you back at the house!"

I took off back toward home before he could respond. I could only handle so much of Jasper being a cheerleader for the power of mating. Plus if I was being completely honest with myself, I was afraid of what he had said. What if I really couldn't stay away from Edward. What if Tanya hated me for it and I lost her. What if she left Denali, like Renee had left Phoenix? Kate and Irina would follow her. They've been together too long to be separated over me. I could make it without Edward. I had to.

I got home and found Irina sitting on my bed. She glared at me and I flinched in shock.

"What?" I asked.

"Were you alone with him again!" she hissed low enough not to be heard by others.

I sighed and plopped down on the bed next to her. "Irina I'm not in love with Jasper!"

"Well then why do you keep sneaking off with him?" she asked.

"Because...he's my friend," I replied. "I like talking to him."

"Well honey Alice was pacing around here muttering under her breath like a mad woman. I'm a pretty good fighter but Alice is lethal. If she tries to kill you I don't know how much of a help I could be," she replied.

I had to laugh. Irina really thought Alice would try and kill me. I patted her knee reassuringly.

"Irina don't be such a drama queen. Plus Jasper taught me to fight and Alice can't see my next move. I think I could take her...I think," I said remembering how my mouth had gotten me in trouble just minutes ago.

"Bella, please just stop going off alone with him. Even if you are just his friend, he's married and it's not proper. It's one thing to play with humans. Playing with someone's husband, someone's mate, is just wrong," Irina said. She patted my knee just as I had patted hers and left my room.

I sighed and fell back on my bed. I tried to remember a time in my life where everything was just happy. Sadly they all were from the little time I spent with the Denali's before the Cullens came and if I didn't keep my shit together I would never have any new memories like that again.

I snuggled under my covers on my bed, closed my eyes and stopped breathing. This is how I pretended to sleep. I cut off as many senses as I could and just lay still. I knew that it wasn't the same as human sleep but it gave me a sense of peace so I did it often anyway.

The one sense I couldn't cut off was my hearing. So when the most beautiful music filled my ears, my eyes snapped open and I found myself at the doorway of the piano room before I even made the decision to move.

I stood completely still not wanting to disturb him or the music. My eyes were trained on his graceful hands running over the keys as fluidly as water down a stream. The melody he was creating was so complex. I wasn't familiar with it but it had to be composed by one of the greats. It was just too special a sound. It was soft yet powerful, angry yet sweet, wistful yet joyous. If I could, I would have been moved to tears. It was an extraordinary piece.

When it was over, I stepped slowly into the room.

"That was... the most wonderful song I've ever heard," I whispered.

Edward smiled, "Jasper said you would love it."

I nodded my head. "I do love it. What's it called," I asked.

He shrugged and let his hands fall from the keys to his lap and trained his eyes there. "It doesn't have one yet."

"Yet?" I asked, my legs deciding to move closer to him on their own. He seemed sad and I couldn't understand why. I didn't like it either.

"I just wrote it today," he told me.

I gasped in shock and wonder. "Edward...," I breathed. He was suddenly more dazzling than he ever was. I slid onto the piano bench beside him and tilted my head trying to see his eyes or make him lift his head but he wouldn't.

"I wrote it for you."

Then it was my turn to stare down at my lap. I didn't know what to say to that. What must he feel for me, to have composed such a song on my behalf? I didn't even feel worthy of it but I was filled with glee and pride knowing that he thought I was.

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me."

"Will you play it again?"

"Of course."

It sounded even better the second time around. My eyes traveled back and forth between Edward's face and his hands. I could see all his passion and I was turned on by it. I hated to admit it but it was true.

When he finished, he moved to drop his hands in his lap again but I caught his right one. The spark between us came to life but I expected it this time. I let my self relish it.

"So talented." I muttered staring at his hand.

I turned it over so that his palm was facing up. I traced the lines there slowly. His skin was soft and so smooth. I remembered how his hand had felt that day we hunted, when he had massaged the skin on the inside of my elbow. I remembered the way his lips and tongue felt on my wrist.

So good.

I brought his wrist to my mouth and reciprocated. I knew what I was doing was dangerous. I knew I should stop but I my body wasn't listening to my head. Edward deserved some sort of reward for penning that song for me and my body wanted to give it to him. My body wanted to give him so much...

"Bella!" Edward groaned as my tongue caressed him.

I loved the sound.

"Thank you so much for writing that song for me," I murmured against his skin.

He moved his hand away from my lips and pushed my hair behind my ear. He trailed his fingers down the side of my face and cupped my cheek. His other hand reached over to my waist and pulled me to him so that there was no space between us on the bench. He angled my face up to his and I could feel his sweet cool breath fan over my face. I could taste it on my tongue.

"Bella," he whispered my name again, this time pleadingly.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't deny him anything while staring into the molten gold of his eyes. I couldn't bring myself to pull away from his touch. It was the most pleasurable feeling on earth. I wasn't ready to part with it.

"We can't," I replied. I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned in to nuzzle my cheek against his. "We can't."

His arms locked around me as he pulled me on to his lap. He rubbed the back of my head just as he had in the forest and I whimpered at just how right we felt but how wrong we actually were.

"Please stop saying that, Bella. Please."

"But my sisters...,"

"Friends," he cut me off. His breathing was jagged and I could tell he frantic. Frantic with need...just like me. "Just be my friend. I hate that you avoid me. That you refuse to talk to me. Be my friend Bella. Just my friend."

I couldn't deny the truth in Jasper's words at that moment. Edward _was_ more important to me than I realized. I did need him, but that didn't mean we had to be a couple. I could have him and not hurt Tanya. I could be his friend. So I nodded my head and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I can be your friend."


	22. Chapter 22

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**_Thanks Mommakat! You are awesome!_**

* * *

_**BPOV**_

Friends?

What the hell was I thinking?

I was straying pretty far from my original plan of avoiding him and trying to make him think I hated him. I was crumbling so fast and so easy. I couldn't even find it in myself to regret what I was doing. I knew that it was bad and I felt guilty but no where was there regret.

I stayed there with Edward just letting him hold me until I heard Tanya come back into the house. I left him without a parting smile and went to find something to do with myself besides obsess over Edward and all the mistakes I was making.

I went in my room and found Kate rummaging through my closet. I let out a low warning growl behind her and she waved me off with a dismissive hand without even turning around.

"Have a heart Bella. I've got a date tonight and I NEED your grey cashmere sweater dress," she said flashing her most winning smile at me over her shoulder. "I happen to really like this guy. He invited me to come to his sister's wedding rehearsal dinner. I want to look understatedly sexy," Kate said.

"Whatever. Please just take it off before you have sex with the guy. I never got that stain out of my skirt that time," I told her.

She plucked the dress she wanted from the hanger and kissed my forehead. "I promise," she said before skipping off toward the door but stopped right before the exit.

"Hey you should come with. You've been in a rut lately and I've seen the best man. He's definitely your type," she offered.

I shook my head. The offer didn't even sound tempting. "No, you go ahead. I've got a date with the library tonight," I replied.

Kate took a step toward me as she concentrated on the dress in her hands like it was engraved with some sacred script.

"You know Bella if you ever needed to talk about anything or..._anyone_. You know that you can talk to me, right? You've only been with us a short time but I feel like it's been forever. You are family to each and every one of us and we love you so much. We would never stop loving you..._no matter what_."

I looked at her for a long time before responding. I didn't know what to say. It could have just been paranoia that led me to believe she was talking about Edward. She could have fairly well been talking about Jasper. Both my other sisters had already talked to me about it, it would only make sense for Kate to mention it too. But something about the way she was talking really made me think she was talking about the former.

"Um...thanks," I finally said training my eyes on my lap.

I looked up to see Kate nodding her head absently before leaving my room. I sighed and covered my face with my hands. Everything was going downhill and it was going downhill fast. I wished that I could just press pause and have everything around me stop for just ten minutes. That however was not the case.

I took a quick shower and changed my clothes. They smelled like Edward and walking around smelling our combined scents (which by the way was like heaven squared) was not good for my sanity. After cleaning up, I sat down at my vanity and started brushing my hair up into a ponytail. It however was extremely tangled from my shower. I was getting frustrated and about to just ball it up atop my head when a voice from the doorway stopped me.

"Don't you dare!" Alice exclaimed. She appeared behind me and grabbed a comb. "Your hair is much too beautiful for that."

My whole body tensed as she smiled at me through the mirror. The smile was so sweet but the look in her eyes was full of malice. She began to comb through the knots in my hair concentrating wholly on her task. I concentrated on her. I realized that I should say something about Jasper, help her understand that he was just a friend to me but I didn't know what to say, Alice, however, did.

"You're getting a little too close to Jasper, Bella," she sighed as if this was a great tragedy. I opened my mouth to begin my explanation but just as I did our eyes met in the mirror. Her deathly glare silenced me instantly. When I closed my mouth her face took on a controlled calm.

"I understand though Bella, so don't worry. You're just a newborn and you can't control your urges. You're a succubus and will take sex from anywhere you can get it. I saw you at the club that night and I know how you use that coy little act to beckon the men to you," she said. I noticed she wasn't combing my hair so gently anymore. It was actually quite painful but I refused to let it show on my face.

"You're a very compelling actress but I assure you it won't work on him. So you can drop that he's just my friend bullshit now. Jasper is beautiful, strong, kind, and intelligent, but more important than any of that he's _my husband_. Mine. As I am his. He's not looking for some random lay that's been had by God knows how many tourists," she said now using her fingers to comb through my now straight hair and dragging her nails down my scalp like claws.

"Keep yourself out of harm's way and stay away from him, Bella," she issued as a warning with a smile.

I smiled right back at her. "It's funny that you're so sure that he's yours but you're still here threatening me. You must not be as secure as you're trying to make me think you are," I said. "I've said it before and I'll say it again. Jasper _is _my friend and will _continue_ to be my friend. I'm sorry if I've overstepped my bounds, truly I am," I said trying to convey sincerity but I failed because I was just too mad.

"But Alice you don't know shit about me. So don't come in here assuming that you do. You've surely made an ass of yourself. You had better take your own advice and stay out of harm's way. Don't you ever speak to me that way again," I said turning around to face her because looking through the mirror was just not good enough.

I stood rising to my full height that was admittedly not much but still taller than her. "And thank you for combing my hair," I smiled before brushing past her and out the door.

I had to run. It would clear my head and give me a semblance of the peace I so needed. I kept my feet moving as fast as I could. I reached my spot in record time and took up residence in my favorite tree. It did very little to calm me, though. I just couldn't believe what Alice had said.

Maybe I was going too far with Jasper. Maybe I should have talked to her the second people started being concerned about the relationship I had with him. That however did not give her the right to try and make me feel bad about my lifestyle. In doing so she had insulted not only me but also my sisters. I refused to be ashamed of what we did.

I had dated and flirted shamelessly with men but I had never had sex with any of them. My sisters had slept with many men but they cared about each and every one. They weren't in love every time but it was never just about the sex. They were lonely and they found company in human men in a way that would not lead to our secret being discovered. Plus after Irina's past human love had died I think they were all a little nervous about anything long time with humans. Their lives were just too fleeting and too easily extinguished. Hell, Phil and I were a more recent example of that.

If Alice didn't understand then screw her. I would try not to disrespect her and do anything that could be conceived as inappropriate with her husband but he was my friend. I wasn't going to keep away because his wife was an insecure brat. I needed Jasper. I couldn't stay away from him and still be expected to keep strong with Edward. Jasper was the only confidant I had, even though a part of me knew that Kate was now open for the role as well. I just wasn't ready to confess to my sisters. I felt that would only make everything more tense. Alice was just going to have to find a way to deal.

_**EPOV**_

Bella had left the house not long after we made our agreement and didn't come back until late the next morning. When she walked in the door, I could tell something was wrong. She was smiling and she wasn't behaving any different than she usually did but there was something off about her eyes. Something sad.

"Where you been, girlie? I thought you had moved out for a second there," Irina said.

Bella shrugged. "My run lasted a little longer than I realized. You know how I get distracted," she said before turning and going up to her room.

I wanted to know what was wrong with her but I didn't know if asking about it would be the right thing to do. There was nothing wrong with asking a friend if something was bothering them, but our friendship was not a normal one. I would be a fool to think it was. Asking could be a very wrong thing for us.

When Bella came down the stairs she surprised me by taking the empty seat next to me leaving only a small space between us. I had to stifle my smile. Everything was better when she was beside me.

Alice came bouncing down the stairs with Jasper following close behind her. She paused at the entrance when she saw Bella. Her thoughts were jumbled as she thought too many things at once but I could tell she was angry. Her outward expression was still happy though. I could tell that Jasper was picking up on her mood as the confusion on his face matched his thoughts.

"Jas and I are going shopping. Anybody want to join us?" Alice asked.

Every female in the house besides Bella said yes and stood to join her. Esme pulled Carlisle along with her as did Rosalie with Emmett whose thoughts were on convincing his wife to find a lingerie store in town.

"Bella you don't want to come?" Tanya asked her, pointedly glancing at me.

Bella shook her head in response. "No I'm just going to finish up my book."

"Well I could stay with you if want," Tanya replied.

"Oh don't be silly, Tanya! She's not a child!" Esme laughed.

Tanya laughed along with Esme but her thoughts were directed at me.

_"Leave her be, Edward. Please just leave her be."_

I nodded my head. I planned on doing just that but only if that's what Bella wanted as well. Everyone emptied out of the house and once we could no longer hear the cars driving away the tension erupted. Bella and I sat still as statues on the couch in complete silence just staring at the TV.

"This is weird," Bella finally said. "I don't want it to be weird like this."

I shifted to look at her and watched her wringing her hands in her lap. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. Friend stuff."

I snorted and she cracked a smile, quickly glancing up at me before training her eyes back on her lap. I searched in my head trying to think of something to talk about but everything seemed so trivial in light of the things I wanted but shouldn't talk about. So I articulated as much to her.

"We have to make this work, Edward," she said turning her whole body to face me. "I think it's the best compromise we'll ever reach."

I nodded my head with a sigh before looking into her eyes and noticed how black they were. The purple under them was so dark I couldn't help but run my thumb over the skin there.

"You were gone all that time and you didn't hunt at all?" I asked.

She knit her brows and shook her head. "It didn't even occur to me. I guess my mind was too preoccupied," she shrugged.

"Preoccupied with what?"

"Alice."

Bella went on to tell me what Alice had said to her the other day. I wanted to be mad at Alice for the things she said to Bella but really the person I should have been mad at was myself. It was me that had made Alice suspicious of them because of my own jealousy. I could see that Alice had really upset Bella and that upset me. I was filled with guilt and before I made a conscious decision to I found myself confessing that it was my fault.

"Why would you do that?" Bella asked, her eyes expressing a deeper sadness than I'd seen earlier.

"All I wanted was to be close to you but it seemed that the only person you could see was Jasper. I was jealous and I just wanted to get him out of the way so that maybe you could make time for someone else...particularly me," I said, unable to look her in the eye anymore. "But I'm sorry that I did that. I'm sorry that I misled Alice. I was selfish and didn't think about anything past getting what I wanted."

Bella sighed and put her finger under my chin to lift my head. She stared into my eyes studying them like some difficult equation.

"Why can't I be mad at you?" she muttered. I didn't respond because it was clear that she was talking to herself. While she pondered the answer to her own question I took the time to rejoice in what it implied.

She wasn't mad at me.

I was filled with the mischievous glee a kid would have after getting away with something he should have been reprimanded heavily for. I knew that I was wrong for doing so. The look in her eyes told me as much.

"I want to be mad at you. I don't want to want you. I don't want to feel this. I want to fight this," she said and my response was instantaneous.

"You can't."

"I can."

"Don't."

"I need to."

"I need you."

She groaned and dropped her head. Her body fell limply into mine and I wrapped my arms around her. I stroked her head knowing that it would soothe her. It had become second nature for me to do so. If she was sad, I stroked her head. Simple as that.

"I need you too," she whispered against my chest in a voice so tiny I, with all my enhanced hearing, strained to hear.

"Then there's got to be something else we can do," I told her pulling back to look into her coal black eyes.

"There isn't," she shook head.

"Bella maybe we should just talk to Tanya. All vampires understand mating. All we have to do is explain. She loves you and she will understand. It might be painful for her at first but she will get over it," I said.

"You can't know that. We can be friends Edward. We can because we have to. This was your idea," she replied.

I pulled her so that she was on my lap. I cradled her against my chest like a child and rubbed circles on her back.

"Look at how much we're hurting. We're hurting more than Tanya ever will. You would prolong our suffering for eternity over something Tanya will no longer care about once I leave Denali?" I asked.

"You _are_ selfish."

"Are you mad now?"

"Sadly, I am not."

I laughed and stood up bringing her with me. I kept her in my arms and held her close to me.

"Please consider us talking to Tanya. We can do better than friends," I told her. She opened her mouth to respond but I pressed my finger to her lips to stop her.

I was instantly distracted by how soft they were, full and red, pouty and perfect. I traced the edge of her lower lip and licked my own. Her eyes bore into my own and I saw the lust I felt in her eyes as well. I forced myself to look and step away from her. I didn't want her to feel the growing erection threatening to rip straight through my jeans.

I took her hand and led her toward the door.

"Just think about it for now and we'll talk again later. But for now, you're thirsty. You should feed. I don't like you being in pain."


	23. Chapter 23

_**SM owns.**_

**_Thanks much Mommakat!_**

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_**BPOV**_

I had truly forgotten that I was thirsty. I had to admit I was a little embarrassed that someone, let alone Edward, had to remind me to feed. We ran through the forest holding hands and it just felt so good, so right. I couldn't help but smile the whole time. I could imagine us doing that forever, I _wanted _us to do that forever.

I reigned myself in though. Edward was my friend. I could hold his hand, I could run with him, and I could hunt with him as long as we kept it in friendly parameters. It wasn't long before we caught the scent of a few deer coming from the east. My forgotten thirst was suddenly blazing like hell fire in my throat. I didn't worry about crouching or catching the deer by surprise. I just chased and tackled it. I cracked the neck and sank my teeth into it's neck. I groaned as the blood gushed down my burning throat, dousing the flames.

I looked over just in time to see Edward's lithe body take down my deer's companion. His teeth pierced right through the jugular and his full lips closed over the wound to prevent any liquid from spilling. His head was tilted back exposing his own neck and I could see his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. My own prey fell from my hands still full of blood and forgotten in light of the more stimulating view in front of me. I couldn't explain why watching Edward feed was so entrancing, so sexy. It just was.

He must have felt me staring or something because he opened his eyes and they instantly locked with mine. I found myself on all fours crawling over to him. I wanted a close up.

He watched me intently as I made my way to him. I reached him at the exact moment he had taken the last drop. He discarded the carcass and I crawled right into his lap. His strong hands grasped my waist and they slid down my hips and thighs which he pulled on either side of his body so that I was straddling him.

I clutched the collar of his shirt, rose up on my knees, and looked down at his face. His newly golden eyes held my gaze as they mirrored my own lust. His lips were stained with blood and the scent of it washed over me combined with the sweetness of his breath. My hands slid up his neck until I was fisting his hair. Edward's hands caressed the length of the back of my thighs, going all the way up my dress. His thumbs skimming the crease where thighs met my bottom.

"Edward," I whined dropping my forehead down against his. "I have to control myself."

"Not with me, you don't," he replied. "Never with me."

"We have to be friends. We have to try."

"We have to talk to Tanya."

The mention of her name gave me the strength I needed. I removed myself from him and he fell back on the ground groaning in frustration. I turned my back to him so that I could clear my head. His face, his hands, his body were too much of a distraction for me.

At what point had I lost my resolve? At what point had Edward become the distraction from my distractions? Had I even ever really distracted myself from him at all, or had I just tricked myself into believing that I had? I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders.

"We're better off as friends, Edward," I said. "Even if we talk to Tanya, you and your family will still leave in a week and a half. We'll be hundreds of miles apart. Why start something that we'll have to throw away in 10 days?"

The thought of Edward leaving nearly made me upchuck the little bit of blood I'd just consumed. I recalled the day when Jasper had said that the thought of being away from Alice made him sick. He was right and that pissed me off for some reason.

"Bella…," Edward began but I cut him off. I wasn't going to keep arguing about this.

"Friends."

"…Okay."

I nodded my head and ran back home. I didn't know when everyone would come back but I needed to get myself together before they did. I showered and changed my clothes before nestling in the library with a book. It lay open in my lap but I didn't read one word. I didn't even know which book it was. I just sat there staring at the page trying to figure out what the hell I wanted to do.

Every time I imagined the conversation with Tanya about Edward and I, it made me cringe. I kept picturing her face crumbling in different expressions of dismay, disappointment, hurt, anger, jealousy, and the worst of them all betrayal. But then when I thought of Edward it seemed like my still heart would beat again in anticipation of seeing his face again, of hearing his voice, and being wrapped in his arms.

I would have sat there all day trying to find the right solution to my problem but Emmett had other plans. He burst into the library, nearly taking the door off the hinges with a big mischievous grin on his face.

"You. Me. Outside. Now," he said.

"What?" I replied dumbly.

"Jasper seems to have lost his mind. He thinks you can kick my ass," Emmett laughed and a grin of my own spread across my face.

Revenge.

Finally.

"Let's go," I said before taking off with Emmett, running through the house to the backyard like silly twelve year old boys.

Jasper was outside waiting for us with Alice at his side. I managed to keep myself from rolling my eyes at her.

"Are you sure you want to embarrass yourself like this, Emmett?" I asked as we stood across from each other in the open grassy area of my backyard.

"Bella please. If anyone is going to be embarrassed later it will be you and I have no problem with getting you there," Emmett replied.

I smirked and glanced at Jasper who winked at me, "The only rule is no biting," Jasper told us.

Emmett and I nodded our agreement and simultaneously tackled each other. The resounding crash of our bodies nearly shattered the windows of the house. Emmett was a big son of a bitch and the force of his body sent me flying back down to the ground with him landing on top of me. It literally knocked the wind of me, good thing I didn't actually need to breathe. I used all my newborn strength to push him off me before he could get more of an upper hand.

I quickly learned not to let Emmett land a hit on me. His fist was the size of my face and held all the power of a wrecking ball. Luckily I was faster than him and Jasper's first lesson of dodging was proving to be damn useful. The fight took all of five minutes. I had him face first on the ground with my foot in between his shoulder blades and his arm twisted back.

"Who's your daddy, Emmett," I sang.

He growled ferociously in anger so I pulled his arm back more and this time he growled in pain.

"Call me Daddy, Emmett."

"Never."

"You must not want this arm anymore then," I replied pulling it more.

"Daddy!"

"No, say Bella's my Daddy," I giggled causing him to growl again.

"Bella's my Daddy," he seethed and I released him squealing in glee as my family, who I had not realized had come out to watch, began to clap. I shot over to Jasper to give him a hug. He after all, did teach me everything I knew. I went to throw my arms around him but he stopped me by placing his hands on my shoulders and extended his hand to me. I knit my brows in confusion as Alice snorted a laugh beside him.

I shouldn't have been surprised but I was. Alice was his wife and it was his job to make her happy and not me. The rejection still stung though and I was too shocked by it to not let it show on my face.

"That was the most disturbing yet hilarious thing I have ever seen," Kate breathed from somewhere behind me. I turned my back on Jasper's hand to face my sister. "Disturbing because it was like watching a bear attack a bunny. Hilarious because the bunny won!"

I laughed but suddenly Emmett was towering over me with his arms crossed.

"How the hell did you learn to fight like that?" he demanded.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Guess I was born with two gifts," I smirked. It was childish and I know it but I didn't want to give Jasper the credit.

"There _will_ be a rematch," he said.

"Whatever you say. It'll be fun to have a real life punching bag," I said.

He glared at me before stalking off back into the house with Rosalie following behind him. She looked at me over her shoulder, winked, and mouthed "You go girl!"

I giggled and moved to make my way into the house as well but Edward's voice stopped me.

"Anybody can beat Emmett," he said. "Let's see if you can beat me."

I turned around slowly to face him. He was leaning against the back of the house with a smug smirk on his beautiful face. I wasn't necessarily scared to fight Edward, but it just seemed like a bad thing to do. I didn't want to hit him. I couldn't use that as my excuse not to fight him though, not in front of everyone.

"Kick his ass Bella!" Tanya exclaimed jumping up and down and clapping her hands like a crazy cheerleader. I had the feeling she really wanted me to hurt him, too. There was an evil glint in her eyes and I didn't miss the glare Edward shot her way either, probably in response to something she had thought.

"Let's do it," I shrugged displaying a nonchalance I didn't really feel.

Edward came to stand in front of me and I sighed, preparing myself for battle. He beckoned me forward with his hand offering me the first move. Don't think I didn't take it, because I did. I fought with open hands not actually wanting to punch him like I had Emmett. Well I tried to fight with open hands. Edward was like some kind of master of deflection. Every time I threw a hit his way he caught it and pushed it way.

I was growing increasingly more frustrated and more distracted. Every time our skin touched I felt the spark that was ever-present between us. It was hard keeping your head in a fight when you were receiving pleasure instead of pain. I didn't know how long I could keep this up without moaning or getting aroused. So I begrudgingly pulled out another trick of Jasper's. I started aiming my attacks at Edward's back.

We were closely matched in speed so it was hard staying behind him but I managed. If I was going to win this fight I was going to have to stop worrying about hurting him. I hated the idea of it but I closed my eyes and kicked him in the back of his knee hard enough to make him fall.

What possessed me to actually close my eyes in the middle of a fight, I have no idea but that's how Edward won. I didn't see when he reached behind him mid-fall and grabbed my neck. He flipped my body over his head and down on the ground in front of him. He moved with the speed of light to straddle my thighs rendering my legs immobile as he penned my arms to the ground on either side of my head.

It wasn't a healthy position for us to be in. So many naughty and wicked images assaulted my brain. I knew that Edward was thinking the same by the look on his face. He smirked and leaned down close to my ear.

"Call me Daddy, Bella," he whispered huskily.

Why?

Why was that the sexiest thing I'd ever heard in either of my lives!

"Okay you won! Congratulations! Now get off her you perv!" Tanya yelled pushing Edward off me herself. She pulled me off the ground and protectively into her side as if I was her child and had been seconds away from being molested. Her arms were around me so tight it was almost painful.

"Tanya, you're hurting me," I whispered and she immediately let me go.

"Oh I'm sorry, Bella!" she exclaimed.

I shook my head dismissively and went into the house. Having been laying under Edward feeling all kinds of hot and bothered and then wrenched away from him by Tanya affected me in a very strange way.

The juxtaposition of the action and our real life situation just hit a little too close to home. I couldn't do this with Edward anymore. I had let myself run wild with him. I had avoided him and did a damned good job of it! I could do it again.

I just had to get back to my list of distractions. Jasper was clearly not on it anymore. Hunting was off. I couldn't even remember to do that anymore. Plus on my last two trips Edward had been with me and they both ended with us doing something we shouldn't have. Running and reading was out because the quiet always made my mind wander back to him. I didn't want to go to Emmett. While he was still a good distraction I didn't want to risk my friendship with Rosalie. My last option was humans. Edward had messed that up for me the last time but I refused to let that happen again. Before Edward came, human men had made me feel good and they would do it again.

I went to my room and started rifling through my closet.

"Bella?" Kate called from my doorway. "Are you okay?"

I nodded my head. "Of course!" I exclaimed a little too excitedly. "Assemble the troops, why don't you. We're going out tonight. I feel like dancing!"

Kate sighed and nodded her head. "Whatever you say, my dear," she said.

I took extra time getting myself ready. I wanted to look good tonight. I wore the midnight blue dress that Kate had given me in exchange for my red dress. I wore my hair in tousled curls and black satin peep toe sling backs that added five inches to my height. I wore minimal make-up just giving myself a dark smoky eye and red tinted lip gloss. When I joined the others in the foyer, I felt Edward's eyes on me but I refused to look his way. I was a woman on a mission and I couldn't allow him to crumble my will power as he had so many times before.

"Oh baby! Bella is all gussied up. I just know it's going to be a good night now!" Irina trilled linking arms with me. I laughed hoping that she was right. We strode out together and I led the way to my black two-seater Ferrari preventing anyone, namely Edward, from riding with us.

When we arrived at the club, I began to follow my normal routine. I broke away from my family to find an empty spot at the bar. I picked a seat and opened my mouth to order my usual apple martini but a familiar voice behind me beat me to the punch. I smiled as I recognized his scent. I would never forget him.

"Dominic!" I exclaimed turning around to face him. He was my very first human conquest.

I knew that he came to Alaska a lot to visit his family and he couldn't have chosen a better time to visit this time. I gazed into his face and I picked out all the changes since I'd last seen him. His hair was a little shorter, skin a little darker, and I could tell by the dark circles under his eyes that he hadn't been getting enough sleep. His face was mainly the same but I wasn't attracted to him like I had been before.

"I missed you," he said pulling me off the stool and into his arms. God, he was mouth watering. I took a moment to just listen to his pulse. Wet, hot, and steady.

"I've missed you too," I replied looking up at him. He brought his hands up to push my hair back and cup my face.

"I've come on a bad day," he sighed sadly.

"What do you mean?"

"I like it when I get to see your eyes golden."

I smiled apologetically. "Maybe next time. How long are you staying?"

"Unfortunately I'm leaving tomorrow night," he replied. "So let's not waste time. Let's get out of here. Come back to my place with me?"

My smile faltered slightly. This was not an odd request. Whenever Dominic came to visit we spent most our time at the house he rented here, snuggled up in bed watching movies, reading, talking, or fooling around. Dominic was more than my lover, he was my friend. I knew why I was hesitating, it was also the reason I couldn't turn him down. Edward. If anybody could distract me from him, it was Dominic.

He was such a passionate man and quite possibly the best kisser in the world. He never got upset when I told him we had to slow down in bed because we were going too far. He was sweet and genuinely cared for me as I cared for him.

"Sure," I smiled.

I didn't bother telling my sisters where I was going. Whenever one of us disappeared from a club, we all had an idea of where the missing sister was.

Dominic took my hand and led me to the exit. I felt eyes on me and I couldn't help but look up. When I met Edward's gaze I regretted ever looking his way. The expression on his face broke my heart.

So much disappointment, so much…love.

I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to shake the image from my brain. Of course it didn't work.

"Are you alright, B?" Dominic asked.

I smiled and nodded my head. "Yea, there was just something in my eye. I think it's out now," I told him.

"Let me check," he replied leaning down to look in my eye.

Once he gave the all clear he kissed my forehead and led to me his car. Once we got to his house, I didn't waste one second of time. While he excused himself to the bathroom I took off my dress but left my heels on. I walked into the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed facing the bathroom door. I crossed my legs and laid back propping myself up on my elbows. I fixed my sexiest smile on my face as Dominic came into the bedroom.

I heard his heart accelerate as he took in the sight of me, such a delicious sound. He smiled wickedly at me and I giggled as I saw his pants start to bulge in penis region.

"Hey Dominic, ready to try and warm me up again?" I purred.

He always joked about how cold my body was and claimed that one day he would get worked up enough to heat my body. He didn't know that he was attempting the impossible every time.

"You know I am," he replied. He stripped down to his boxers and as he slowly advanced toward me and the bed. My breathing picked up. I was overcome with the feeling that I was about to do something so very wrong. Dominic's hot hand gripped my waist and pushed me up higher on the bed and crawled up with me. He explored my body with his hands and old feelings of extreme pleasure didn't accompany his actions. I whimpered in distress, why didn't it feel good anymore?

His lips found my neck as he laid his body atop mine. His weight felt oddly heavy and it seemed to suffocate me. Dominic slid his hand up my waist to my breast and I didn't like it at all. When he hitched my leg up to his waist and pressed his erection against my center I cringed in disgust.

And then I got angry.

Nothing was ever going to be the same again. Edward had come into my life and ruined everything that I had once loved and enjoyed. Reading, hunting, running, and humans held no interest for me anymore because I couldn't go one second without thinking about him! I was contemplating breaking my sisters heart for a man that had hurt her and led her on. Why did he have to do that? If he had only been honest with her from the beginning we could have been together long ago! I wouldn't be here trying to forget him and failing miserably!

I was mad at Alice for being such a selfish bitch! I didn't want her husband and he didn't want me! If she had just listened to me and let me explain, she would have known that, but no, she had to go and insult and accuse me.

I was mad at Jasper for being a coward. He should have stood up for our friendship. Did he let her dictate every aspect of his life? Of course he did! He was just a sad little vampire that had bowed down and let himself be enslaved by the bond between mates.

Well I wasn't going to follow in his footsteps!

I was mad at Irina for intruding on me and Jasper that day and misconstruing everything. I was mad at Tanya for being stupid and clinging to a man for fifty years! I'd known right away that he didn't love her back! Why hadn't she known after all that time? I was mad at Renee for abandoning me and making my trip to Alaska necessary. I was mad at Phil for wanting to check out the damn cave! I knew it was dangerous. I was mad at the deer for destroying Phil's face. I was mad at the wolves for killing him and almost doing the same to me. I was mad at Tanya for caring about me so much. She barely knew me and she came running to my rescue. If she didn't love me so much, I would be free to love Edward!

As my anger grew into a blind rage. I found that Dominic was finally making me feel good. So good. The blazing heat of his body was all around me, his pulse wild with lust and desire beating strongly through his body and into me. The wet rhythm was so loud in my ears, making it impossible to hear anything else. His scent was thick in the air and beckoning to me, screaming for me to partake, to savor.

Pleasure I'd never thought possible exploded throughout my body, so intense that it threatened to drive me insane. I clutched Dominic to me and rolled us over so that I was on top of him. I moaned embarrassingly loud as the pleasure crashed over my body like tidal waves. I hoped that this feeling would never end but no sooner than the thought had entered my brain the feeling did end. It was gone so quickly and I nearly sobbed at the loss of it.

I opened my eyes and pulled back to see if Dominic had felt what I had.

He hadn't.

What had I done?

I gazed into his lifeless eyes and immediately began to hyperventilate. The bed quaked with the force of my own trembling. I looked at the awful gash in his neck where I had bit him.

Where I had drained him.

Where I had killed him.


	24. Chapter 24

_**SM owns.**_

**_Thank you Mommakat!_**

**_Just to be clear, because I know that some people were unsure. No, Bella did not have sex with Dominic. All that pleasure she was feeling was from drinking human blood for the first time._**

**_

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_**

_**EPOV**_

It was impossible to concentrate on anything else for the rest of the night. I couldn't believe that she left with that guy, but then again I could. Bella was so determined to deny our bond. I really should have seen this coming, but I didn't. I thought that we were getting somewhere. Slowly but surely getting closer to being together. Clearly we weren't. We'd taken two steps forward and eighteen million backward.

As I watched her leave with him, I was overcome with so many emotions. Hate. Jealousy. Fear. Anger. Despair. Disappointment. Understanding. Acceptance. Love.

It was not the ideal way to realize you loved someone when they're leaving a nightclub with some other guy but that's how it happened for me. All the aggression and envy I felt was toward the guy. I'd seen him walk up to her and how happy she had been to see him. I hated him for being close to her. I was jealous that they could be so publicly affectionate. Bella was mine but I had to wait until we were alone in order to touch her or even have a normal conversation. It just wasn't fair.

I was disappointed in Bella and hurt but I knew what she was doing and instantly forgave her. I couldn't be mad at her. It was literally impossible. Some small part of me wanted to barge up to them at the bar and scream at her for letting another man touch her. I wanted to demand to know what he had that I didn't. The thing was it wasn't what he had, but what he hadn't done. He hadn't lied about affections for her sister and participated in all sorts of intimate acts to convince himself that he really did feel something. But I had and that's why I was the one left behind to watch her leave with the other man, quite possibly the better man.

Later that night, after we'd all gone home and Bella was still out with that guy, Esme came into my room and wrapped her arms around me.

"_Don't worry, honey. Things will work themselves out in the end. I just know they will."_

I nodded my head but really her thoughts had done nothing to soothe me. I really felt like I was fighting a losing battle. There was a time when I would have thought mating made everything and everyone else secondary in a vampire's life. That was apparently not true. Bella had shown me that tonight. Her loyalty to her sisters had trumped what we had or could have had. And while this should have made me sad, I was mainly just in awe. In awe of just how special my Bella was. Only someone as unique and strong as her could successfully shun their mate.

I was suddenly pulled from my reverie by a powerful onslaught of dread and anxiety. It was churning in the pit of my stomach like the water of a violent hurricane. My breathing picked up and the only thing I could think of was Bella.

Something was wrong.

"Edward, what is it," Esme asked. I could hear and see the concern on her face.

"I don't know. I just…something's wrong with Bella,"

All three Denalis appeared in my room the second Bella's name left my lips. Kate had her cell phone pressed to her ear. Her thoughts were a constant stream of, _"Please pick up, Bella. Please pick up, Bella."_

"How do you know?" Irina asked.

"I just do," I replied concentrating on Kate so that I would know the second Bella answered the phone. She never did though and the call went to voicemail.

"What hotel does Dom usually stay at," Kate asked her sisters.

"He usually rents a house but I don't know where it is," Tanya replied. "Edward, why do you think something is wrong?" she asked turning to look me in the eye.

She was scared but couldn't really understand why I would just think something was wrong out of the clear blue like this. I didn't know how to explain and I really didn't want to at the moment either. I was too worried and just wanted to find Bella. She was a vampire and there was very little that could hurt her but I knew without a doubt that she needed help. I couldn't be bothered with anything else at the moment.

"Call her again, Kate," I said.

She nodded her head and pressed redial on her phone. I was pacing the floor like a mad man listening to each ring willing Bella wherever she was to pick up. On the third ring though, I heard her. Not on the phone but her impossibly quick and feather light footsteps approaching the house. I ran down to meet her but when I got to the front door she was already on the porch. I was so happy to see her that I didn't even realize what she was carrying until the stench reached my nose.

A dead body.

"Oh God," Tanya breathed from behind me.

Bella stepped into the house carrying the man she had left the club with. She was staring down at him with an unfathomable look in her eyes. The whole house had caught the smell and were assembled in the foyer in complete silence.

"Help me," Bella whispered in a voice so tiny and lost.

"Bella…," Tanya began but Bella squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head.

"Just help me!" Bella exclaimed breathlessly.

Tanya nodded her head and suddenly her tone was all business, "Where?" she asked.

"His house. 582 Pebble Creek Road," Bella responded.

"Irina, go clean up. Kate start the preparations. We'll go to the house in Amur. Give him to me, Bella," Tanya said decisively as Irina and Kate scurried off to complete their assignments.

Bella sighed and kissed the man's forehead murmuring apologies and prayers against his skin before handing over his corpse.

"Everything will be fine, Bella. Go wash up and we'll be back as soon as we can," Tanya said.

Bella nodded and went to do as she was told. Tanya left the house to go dispose of the body. I could see in her mind she planning on faking a car crash. Luckily it had snowed earlier and the roads were slick.

I turned my focus back on Bella. I listened intently as I heard the shower in her room being turned on. I waited as I heard the rustle of her clothes as she dressed and then started to make my way to her room when I heard her bed springs compress.

"Wait, Edward let me go up," Jasper said.

"Excuse me?" I replied incredulously.

"Jas maybe she would prefer to be alone right now," Alice chimed in.

"No she wouldn't. I have to talk to her," Jasper said keeping his eyes locked on me.

"And why would you be the one to go up there?" I asked.

"Edward I can help her," Jasper said. I could read in his thoughts that he was going to talk her into letting down her shield so that he could soothe her. I was for anything that would make her feel better. I knew all too well about what she must be feeling right now but I wasn't going to stay behind.

"Let's go then," I said. Jasper sighed but followed me up to Bella's bedroom. The room was open but I didn't think just walking in was the right thing to do. I realized that I had never been inside her bedroom before but I didn't bother taking in the décor. My eyes were trained on Bella was she sat on the edge of the bed staring into space, still as stone.

"Bella may we come in?" I asked keeping my tone low.

She showed no sign that she had heard me or planned to acknowledge me at all. So instead of trying to ask her again I just went inside. I walked around and knelt before her. I gazed into her eyes and was nearly undone by the emptiness I saw there. Her now crimson eyes resembled those of a statue, hollow and devoid of life. Her face was free of all emotion and to be perfectly honest, it terrified me. I had no idea what to do. Stroking her head would not heal this wound.

"_Let me, Edward," _Jasper thought and I moved aside.

"B, I know that you're hurting and I can help. I can take it away if you let me. Please take down your shield. You don't have suffer," Jasper said imploringly.

"But I should," Bella murmured so low that I wasn't even entirely sure that she did say it.

"No, Bella. We've all made this mistake before. It's alright, honey. I know it doesn't seem like it but it is," he replied.

"No. It's. Not."

"Bella please just let me help you," he begged.

Bella blinked but no light came to her eyes. She looked at Jasper, just staring at him for what seemed like forever. I watched her intently, hoping that she would allow him to help her. I was in pain just imagining what she felt and I was going insane with worry. I sat on the bed beside her and took her hand in mine. She allowed me to touch her but her hand remained limp in my grasp.

"Do it for me, Bella. Please."

Bella instantly pushed her shield away. Jasper wobbled and groaned at the sheer force of her emotions that were suddenly thrust upon him. I picked them out of his mind as he felt them but they weren't many, in fact there were only two. Crippling grief and excruciating self-loathing. Jasper struggled not to succumb to her feelings, the most intense he'd ever felt, and find some peace to offer her.

Bella's mind was now open to me and while I should have jumped at the chance to finally be inside her head I was too focused on something else. Alice had free access to Bella's future and the vision that assaulted her demanded my attention as well.

Bella and I were lying beside a river under a huge tree. Both of us topless, kissing and groping one another with wild abandon. I gasped as a sudden desire for that vision to come true came over me but the vision was cut off as Bella shot up from the bed snapping her shield back into place.

"STOP!" she screeched clutching her hair in hands.

She raced out of the room and then the house. There was no conscious thought to follow her, but I did. Her legs carried her into the trees ahead of me but I kept her in my sight and trailed as closely behind her as I could. I chased her into the night for miles and miles. I didn't know where she was going or if she was going anywhere at all. She could very well be running just to be running but I wasn't going to let her go anywhere alone. She wasn't stable and the self loathing she had felt had worried me. Those kinds of feeling could lead to unthinkable acts but I would protect her from herself if there was a need.

Bella finally stopped and fell to the ground in front of a river. The same river from Alice's vision. I looked over and saw the tree from the vision as well. I didn't think too much of it though. I couldn't see anything like what happened in Alice's vision happening tonight. Bella was too upset and I would never try for anything while she was in this state.

I crept up to Bella as she sat on the backs of her legs facing the water. I slowly lowered myself to sit cross legged beside her. We sat in silence for an immeasurable amount of time before I finally had to say something.

"Bella it was a mist…," I began but she cut me off.

"How can you even stand to look at me?"

"I love you, that's how and if I could never see anything but your face for the rest of my existence it would be one of the best things that ever happened to me," I replied earnestly.

"You'd be happy to look at a monster for the rest of your life?" she scoffed and got up to walk away but I grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"You are not a monster! You made a mistake. A mistake that we've all made before. You killed one man, I've killed hundreds of men!" I exclaimed.

Bella pushed me away from her and finally life came back to her eyes. They blazed with anger but I knew that none of it was for me.

"I didn't kill a man! I killed my friend! Dominic was my friend! I cared about him so much and he cared about me! He was here to visit his family, his grandfather who will never see him again because of me! Don't tell me I'm not a monster because I know that I am," she shrieked at me.

She groaned and fisted her hands in her hair again. I rushed to her and tried to loosen her hands in fear that she would rip her hair out and lose it forever.

"I'm sure that you just lost control. You are newborn and it's harder for you to resist human blood. You're being too hard on yourself. You're only four months old. It took me almost two decades to even begin to _try_ and control myself," I told her.

She shook her head rapidly rejecting my comfort.

"It wasn't like that for me! Resisting blood was never hard for me. I killed Dominic because I wasn't paying attention. I'm careless! I'm a selfish bitch! I'm a coward! I'm…," Bella ranted but I stopped her by covering her mouth with my hand.

"You are none of those things and I won't stand for anyone saying that you are, not even you! You're the closest thing to perfect I've ever come across. I'm constantly in awe of how strong, selfless, brave, and loving you are," I yelled.

I was frantic with my need to calm her, to reassure her. It was killing me to have her feel that way about herself. I'd had more than my share of self deprecating thoughts in the past but I didn't want that for her. I knew of the pain one had to be in to feel that way about themselves and it was no little amount.

Plus Bella had seemed to love the fact that she was a vampire and I'd admired that about her. This 180 she had turned was a very bad sign.

"I'm not! I had no idea that I was draining him until after the fact. I was too consumed with rage to even know what I was doing. I was mad at the world blaming everyone for the fucked up situation that I'm in except for the one person who's really at fault…me," she raved. " It's my fault that everything is all wrong. I was too much of a coward to own up to my feelings and tell Tanya about us. I used Jasper! I used Emmett! Hell, I was using Dominic! I used him and then murdered him."

Bella's knees gave out from under her but I caught her before she hit the ground. I clutched her body to me and stroked her head because I had no idea what else to do. I felt like I was in over my head but I had no plans of giving up. I couldn't let her drown in her pain like this.

"Bella, baby, I don't know what you mean? How did you use them?" I asked, needing to understand before I could attempt to comfort her again. I was surprised though that she seemed to be just a bit better now that I was stroking her head. She wasn't yelling and pulling her hair anymore at least.

"I was too stubborn, too stubborn to just love you. I came up with a list of things to distract myself from you. I used Jasper because I was intrigued by his scars. I used Emmett because he was so competitive. I used Dominic because he was human and because of the way he used to make me feel," Bella murmured against my chest. "All that stuff worked at first but after that day we hunted nothing could tear my mind away from you. I just wanted, needed, you so bad but I was terrified of hurting Tanya but all I ended up doing was hurting everyone else."

"Your intentions were pure, Bella," I whispered burying my face in her hair.

"But my actions were evil. I killed my friend and I hurt you. I hurt you on purpose. I wanted to make you hate me and I really wish that you would. I don't deserve you after all I've done," she sobbed tearlessly.

"Bella we were born for each other. Nothing you ever do will make me turn away from you. Everything that you feel, I feel. The raw need, the animal magnetism is mutual, baby. You have your demons like I have mine but I will never judge you for them," I told her.

"I betrayed you tonight. I saw how hurt you were when I left with him. I went to his house in the hopes that his touch would make me forget you. I let him touch me. I let him kiss me. I hated the way it felt, though. His hands disgusted me because they weren't yours. I wanted him to be you. I wanted you to be touching me and since I couldn't have that I got so mad. I'm ashamed of myself. You should be ashamed of me too. You should hate me," she whispered lifting her head to meet my eyes. "Tell me that you hate me."

My heart broke for my mate, for my beautiful Bella. For the amazing woman in my arms begging me to hate her, but my love only swelled. I took her face in my hands and stared into her eyes as I spoke.

"Never. I will never hate you. I don't care what you've done or anything that you ever will do. I love you and I want you no matter what. I will never hate you."

Bella sobbed again and closed her eyes. "Edward please. Please just tell me. I want you to hate me. I need you to hate me. I need you to be repulsed. My revulsion isn't enough."

"I love you!" I growled grabbing her arms and shaking her to help make her understand. She opened her eyes and looked at me with pleading eyes but I was incapable of giving her what she wanted. "I love you, Bella. Do you understand that? Because I'll do whatever it takes to help you if you don't. You're everything that I've ever wanted. Everything I never knew I needed. I love you!"

Bella exhaled a ragged sigh and rested her forehead against mine. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I denied you. I shunned you. I know that you're not mine but I still feel as if I cheated on you. I'll never forgive myself," she whispered.

"I _am_ yours Bella and you are mine. We belong to each other. Now and forever. I've always been yours and you've always been mine."

Bella searched my eyes. I don't know what she was looking for or if she found it. I ran my hands up her arms and her neck until I was cupping her face. As my hands traveled Bella's skin her eyes fluttered closed and a low breathy moan escaped her mouth. I loved to hear her moan. I loved to make her moan.

"Only you can make me feel this way. Just the slightest touch from you makes everything better. I don't deserve this," she said.

"You deserve everything I want to give you and more. I want to make everything better for you. You deserve everything."

"You are everything."

I could see the love I felt reflected back to me in Bella's eyes. Her forehead was still against mine and I could feel her sweet breath fan over my face, but that wasn't enough. I wanted to taste it. I dropped one hand from her face and grabbed her waist. She bit her lip and I was filled with jealousy yet again.

"It's not fair," I murmured staring at her full lip trapped between her teeth wishing that it was trapped between mine. I didn't verbalize that but Bella seemed to know because she released her lip instantly.

"I'm yours. You said so yourself," she told me and that was all I needed to hear.

I attacked her mouth. There was no other way to described it but Bella's responding moan only spurred me on. I held the nape of her neck as she fisted my hair in her hands tightly. It was slightly painful but wholly pleasurable. I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth and savored the taste. Better than any blood in the world. I gently took it in between my teeth and licked it with the tip of my tongue.

Bella groaned as she grabbed my arms. She fell back on the ground pulling me with her, on top of her. I planted my hand on the ground to keep my weight from her but Bella shook her head.

"No! I need to feel you. Please let me feel you."

I lowered myself, aligning my body with hers and she hummed her satisfaction. The sound traveled straight to my groin, giving me an instant erection. I kissed my Bella's lips, then moved down to her chin before traveling along her jaw trying to taste as much of her as I could. Bella's hands started at the waist band of my jeans and roamed upward underneath my shirt. The feel of her small hands just ghosting up my abdomen made me shudder with pleasure.

My kisses reached her neck and she turned her head giving me more access and I took full advantage. I'd waited and daydreamed about this moment ever since I'd arrived in Denali. The real thing put my imagination to shame. Her touching me, me touching her was nothing short of bliss.

I placed wet open mouthed kisses all over her neck, pausing in certain areas and giving them extra attention according to the volume of Bella's moans. She arched her back pressing her breasts into me and I received an irrational surge of anger toward our clothing. I lifted myself up causing her to groan as if in pain at the loss. I quickly pulled off my shirt and was surprised to see that Bella had done the same. I had never appreciated her speed more.

She had forgone a bra and her breasts were laid bare for me. I took in every exposed inch of her body. Her tiny waist, the smooth flat surface of her belly, her small round navel and her beautiful perky breasts with their pink pebbled nipples. I placed my hands on either side of her waist and moved them slowly up her body, my eyes following their ascent. When my hands got to the sides of her breasts my thumbs moved on their own accord to swipe over her hardened nipples. Bella hissed in pleasure and arched her back again.

"So beautiful," I whispered before lowering my body to hers once more. The feel of our bare chests pressed together caused us both to moan. She spread her legs and bent her knees so that my erection was nestled against her center. I could feel her heat searing through my pants and my hips bucked into her wanting more.

"Ungh! Edward!" she screamed wrapping her arms around my neck. She brought my face back down to her. She covered my mouth with her own and swiped her tongue over my lips. She was granted immediate access and she massaged my tongue languidly with her own.

I moaned into her mouth holding the back of her head securing her to me. I'd never experienced pleasure like this and I was greedy for more. My erection was straining painfully against my pants and as if sensing my need Bella rolled so that she was on top and ground herself hard yet slowly against me.

"Fuck!" I growled grabbing her hips to guide her movements over me.

"You feel so good," Bella whimpered as I thrust myself upward and she pushed down against me. "So good."

I raised up and wrapped my arm around her waist. In this position her breasts were perfectly aligned with my mouth. I palmed the right and flicked my tongue over her left nipple. She threw her head back crying out her pleasure and my dick grew impossibly harder. Her flesh was so delicious and I was afraid I would never get enough. I pinched her right nipple as I covered the left with my mouth, sucking and lapping at it hungrily.

Bella's hands were in my hair once more as she rocked into my erection in a frenzied search of the friction we both needed. I switched off on her breasts suckling the left and massaging the right.

Bella's moans increased in volume and I knew that she was close. I rolled us back so that she was beneath me. She wrapped her legs around my waist and I pinned her arms above her head. I ground my erection into her hard and fast as she writhed wildly. My balls tightened and I gritted my teeth trying to will myself to wait until she got hers first.

"Cum for Bella. I want see you cum for me."

Her hips bucked violently and her body convulsed as she screamed my name with her release triggering my own. I buried my face in the crook of her neck, groaning as the ecstasy of my orgasm crashed over my body like rapid falling tidal waves.

We whispered our love for one another as we came down struggling to catch our breath. The smell of our sex was thick in the air around us and I relished it, breathing in the intoxicating aroma as deeply as I could. Bella wrapped her arms around me and gently ran her fingers through my hair. I stroked her side in return and we basked in our afterglow for an unknown amount of time.

I would have been satisfied with staying there forever but I knew that eventually we would have to leave and go back to our families. I was gripped with fear of what that moment would bring. Would Bella want to pretend that nothing had ever happened? Would she go back to using my brothers as distractions against me? I held her tighter to me knowing that soon I would have to let her go.

Bella sighed and kissed the top of my head. "I won't fight us anymore, Edward." she murmured. "We'll talk to Tanya."


	25. Chapter 25

_**SM owns.**_

**_Thank you Mommakat!_**

* * *

_**EPOV**_

I couldn't describe the happiness I felt. I propped myself up on my elbow and looked up at her face. She didn't look as happy about it as I felt but there was determination on her face and that was good enough for me.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes, I can't do this anymore," she sighed. She turned her face away from me but I still saw the hopelessness in her eyes.

"Bella," I whispered using my finger under her chin to bring her face back to me. I kissed her lips softly and pushed her hair behind her ear. "She'll understand."

"It's going to hurt her. She'll know that I've been lying to her. I betrayed her just like I betrayed you," she said still managing to avert her eyes from me even though her face was to me.

"Will you look at me, please," I said. It took her a minute but she met my gaze and I smiled down at her. "It will be okay. She might be hurt in the beginning but she knows that mating isn't something that we can decide for ourselves. We are destined for each other and no matter how jealous she might be, she'll know that it's not something you did intentionally," I told her.

I don't know how convinced she was because the hopeless expression never left her face but she nodded her head anyway.

"We have to get cleaned up before we go back," Bella said changing the subject.

She was right. The inside of my boxers were a sticky mess and it felt gross. I glanced over at the river that was beside us and jerked my head in it's direction.

"Let's go," I said standing up and pulling her with me. She gasped and wrapped her arms around her breasts to hide them from me. I resisted the urge to whine in disappointment, like a child having his favorite cartoon turned off by his mother.

"Um, do you want to go first, or should I," she murmured yet again averting her eyes. I took a step forward so that I was standing directly in front of her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and planted a kiss on her bare shoulder. I found the fact that she could still be embarrassed after what we'd just done adorable.

"Why don't we go in together," I suggested.

She looked up at me with her mouth slightly agape. "…okay," she nodded.

I stepped away from her and unzipped my jeans and slid them off and then discarded my shorts. I heard Bella gasp and wondered was if it was because she liked what she saw or because she was disappointed. I hoped to the heavens that it was the former. I proceeded into the water as I heard Bella shedding the last of her clothing as well. I walked until I was about waist deep into the water and turned around to see Bella walking toward me. She hadn't reached the water yet and I felt myself harden at the sight of her naked body.

She truly was a vision, the perfect female form. Her neck was long and elegant and her shoulders slender. My eyes raked her over her breasts and pretty pink peaks that had fit perfectly in the palms of my hands. I moved down to her slim waist and her sinuously rounded hips to the light sprinkling of hair at the apex of her thighs. My erection became painful as I remembered the heat I'd felt there through our clothes. I swallowed loudly and forced my eyes downward to her thighs and shapely legs right to her delicate ankles and small feet. My eyes made the return trip back to her eyes and found that she was watching me intently. I held my hand out for her and she sighed before advancing toward me and into the water as well. When she reached me, I took both her hands and brought them to my mouth and kissed each and every one of her knuckles but kept space between us so that she wouldn't become aware of my aching hard on.

"You're so beautiful," I murmured against her hands.

"Not on the inside," she shook her head. "Not where it counts."

"You are beautiful, in every sense of the word," I responded.

"I don't compare to you. You're dazzling," she whispered reverently as her eyes took in my body not unlike mine had hers. She brought her hands up to my hair and ran her fingers through it.

"Like silk," she breathed.

Her hands slid down to my face over my eyes down the bridge of my nose, across my cheekbones, along my jaw and around my lips.

"A chiseled masterpiece."

She touched my neck and moved her hands over my shoulders and down my arms. Her hands left a wondrous tingling sensation in their wake. She brought her hands to my chest, ghosting her fingertips over my nipples making me hiss and my dick twitch. She traced the lines of my abs and finally her hands rested under the water on hips.

"An Adonis."

Bella bit her lip as she looked up at me again but all I could concentrate on was how close her hands were to my erection. I wanted to hold her and kiss her, feel her body against mine again but I knew that I shouldn't. We had already done more than we should have. I had no way of knowing whether what had happened under the tree was because she was vulnerable or because she had truly wanted it.

"I don't know how I resisted this long," she said.

"I'm just glad you stopped," I replied.

I felt her hands on my waist move to wrap around me but I stepped back not wanting her to know what was going on with me beneath the water. I wish I hadn't though. She immediately bowed her head and took a step of her own backward clasping her hands behind her back

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said.

Why was she apologizing? Had she taken my step away as a rejection? How could she when I'd just not two seconds before said I was glad that she had stopped resisting me? I reached for her hand again and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"I wasn't necessarily stepping away from you, Love. I…I just…it would be better if you weren't so close to me right now," I told her.

"What?" she replied confusion covering her face.

I sighed. "Well seeing you naked…it does things to me," I said glancing down at my waist and then back at her trying to tell her what I meant without using words. She understood immediately. She tried to bite her lip to mask her smirk but I saw it anyway. Her eyes were focused under the water on me glinting devilishly. I watched her as she stared and it didn't take me long to become self-conscious.

"Will you stop staring at it!" I exclaimed.

"I can't," she giggled. "It's so big, so pretty."

"Pretty?" I grimaced. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"Is it a compliment when you say that I'm pretty?" she countered glancing up at my eyes briefly before looking back down.

"Well yes but that's different. Men things aren't supposed to be pretty," I said.

"Men things?" she snorted a laugh. "I could say handsome but I really prefer, pretty," she said smiling up at me.

I sighed but shrugged my shoulders in defeat. "Fine, then. "

Bella closed the space I'd created sandwiching my "pretty" cock in between our stomach's. I groaned at the sensation and Bella slowly rose up on tip toes and then just slowly went back down effectively stroking me with her stomach.

"You had better take care of this Mr. Cullen, we need to be heading back soon," she giggled and turned to leave me alone in the river. I groaned again watching her walk away. It did nothing to help my situation, but I went farther down the river out of her sight and took things into my own hands. When I got back to Bella, she was dressed and perched up in the tree smiling down at me.

I was so happy to see that she was smiling again. Last night had been hard for both of us. I had been afraid that she would never be the same again, but looking at her now, I knew that wasn't true. She jumped down from the tree to stand directly in front of me. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders pulling her to my chest and buried my face in her hair. I took in her luscious scent and found myself sighing in complete happiness. Bella was finally allowing me to have her, which meant she was also giving me all I'd ever asked for.

"Are you ready," I asked.

She took a deep breath and nodded her head. When I looked at her face, my stomach plummeted. All the grief I'd just been happy to see gone, had made its return. I took her hand and began running back to the house.

_**BPOV**_

I ran slower than I've run before. It was closer toward a human's speed but Edward stayed beside me never letting go of my hand or commenting on our sluggish pace. I knew for sure that I wanted to tell Tanya about us, but I was still apprehensive about it. I had no idea how she would react or what I would even say to her. So many possible outcomes ran through my mind and the worse they got, the slower I moved.

If we had gone at our normal speed we could have been home in 30 minutes, but since my fear was getting the better of me, it took us five hours. Once we stepped inside the house, I found myself wrapped in Tanya's embrace.

"I'm so sorry, B," she whispered. "I know that you really cared about him and you must feel awful now but in time you'll feel better. I'll help you in any and every way I can. I promise," she smiled. "We took care of everything. We're going to go to Forks with the Cullens for a couple weeks and then move on to Amur in Russia. You'll love it there."

I nodded my head not knowing what else to do. All I could think about was what I had to tell her. She pulled back to look at my face and I saw heavy concern on her own. She looked over my shoulder at Edward and then at our clasped hands.

"Edward, if you don't mind I'd like to have a moment with my sister," she said in a carefully controlled tone. She linked her arm with mine and tried to walk away but Edward was forced along with us. I couldn't let him go. I wanted to tell Tanya right away and get it over with but I needed Edward there with me. I couldn't do it alone.

"Edward!" Tanya yelled in frustration thinking that it was _him_ that was holding on to _me_. I could see that she was about to get really angry so I figured I'd better say something soon.

"Tanya, wait. Um, we need to discuss some things. I…well…Edward and I…when the Cullens…I haven't been…," I stammered with a shaky voice before stopping and taking another deep breath. I needed to pull myself together.

"What's wrong, Bella," Tanya asked her eyes flitting back and forth between Edward and I.

Getting the words out wasn't easy at all. I didn't know what to say to make what I had to tell her not so bad. I looked around the room that was filled with both mine and Edward's families. Kate, Jasper, Alice, and Esme all had their eyes averted from us looking rather uncomfortable. I realized these people all had a sense of what was coming. Irina, Carlisle, Emmett, and Rosalie all looked at us with confusion though. I realized that this conversation should maybe take place in a more private setting. Edward must not have thought that as well though.

"Tanya what Bella is trying to say is that we're mated," he said rather bluntly. "We're sorry that we didn't say anything before. Bella wanted to try and fight the bond but after last night, we both agreed that, that route wasn't for the best," he said.

I got the urge to protect Tanya in the only way that I could. I wrapped her in my shield so that her reaction could be her own. I could at least offer her some privacy for her thoughts and feelings.

I stared at her and watched my fears come true. Disbelief, rage, pain, disappointment, sadness, and betrayal all took up residence on her face composing in a mask that would break the hardest of hearts. Her gaze never left mine and I tried to be brave but her expression broke me. I dropped my eyes in shame.

"I'm so sorry," I said using the useless sentiment. Being sorry wouldn't fix anything. It would not cure the agony I'd plagued her with.

The room was silent as death and thick with tension. The only thing that kept me together was Edward who's thumb caressed my knuckles in a slow steady motion. I focused on the simple but warm comfort as I waited for Tanya to yell or hit me. I didn't know how long it actually took her to respond but it had felt like years to me.

"Okay," she finally said in an even tone and nod of her head.

I looked up at her in shock. Her own eyes were closed and she was breathing in deep and evenly. When she finally opened her eyes, they focused on me. All I could see in them was indifference. It was as if I just told her it was going to rain later on or something inconsequential like that. If I hadn't seen the previous expression on her face, I would have sworn that she hadn't heard anything that Edward had said.

Her response had thrown me off and I looked around at the others in the room to see if I was the only one that felt this way. The audience wore varied expressions between shock, pity, and confusion. I glanced back at Edward and he was among those in shock.

"Is that…," I began but Tanya cut me off.

"We're leaving now. I took the liberty of packing your bags. We can't take everything so you should go up and check to see if there are things you'd rather leave behind or things you don't want to leave without," she said.

Her formal tone worried me. I didn't like it and fear began to eat away my shock. She stared at me for a few more seconds before turning her back to me and walking away. The simple action was enough to send me into sheer panic. I knew in my heart that her turning away from me had been more than just in the literal physical sense. As she moved farther away I could feel our relationship being torn and taken away as well.

"Tanya!" I yelped trying to bring her back to me. "Please can we just talk…" I began, the panic ringing loud and clear in my voice but she cut me off again.

"I said okay!" she yelled, stopping dead in her tracks but not bothering to turn and look at me. I whimpered in response but didn't say anything else as I watched her leave the house. Edward came up behind me and wrapped his arm around me.

"It had to be done, Bella," he whispered . "Just let her process this and then we'll try and talk to her again later. Just give her some time," he told me.

I nodded my head to let him know that I'd heard. I had no other choice but to go along with his plan because I didn't have one of my own. I stood up a little straighter deciding to take whatever Tanya gave me because I knew that I deserved it. If she decided to never speak to me again, then I would just have to deal. I'd made so many mistakes and now I had to deal with the consequences.

I looked up as I felt a hand on my cheek. Kate was smiling at me and leaned in to kiss my forehead.

"Edward's right, Bella," she told me. "Just give Tanya a little time and space. You should head on down to Forks with the Cullens and we'll be right behind you," she said. "And please remember what I said, B. We love you no matter."

I nodded my head and tried keep myself from sobbing. I knew that Kate was trying to help me but her words had, had the opposite effect. I felt like she was turning me away by telling me to leave with the Cullens. I wanted to talk to Tanya too and help her understand that I had never wanted to hurt her, that my first reaction had been to protect her.

Saying that they loved me no matter what had not helped either. Saying it now could mean that even if they decided to go to Russia without me and never speak to me again they would still have fond memories of me from the good times. I realized that it was very possible that once I left this house, I would never see my sisters again.

I wrapped my arms around Kate and let a small sob escape me. "I love you too. No matter what," I replied.

Irina came up and I moved to hug her as well. "Don't worry, B. I think my python boots are mixed in with your things. You know I live and die for those boots," she whispered.

I knew that she was trying to cheer me up but it only seemed to scare me more. I had not spoken my fears of abandonment aloud so either she knew what I would think or leaving me was really a consideration of theirs.

Irina and I exchanged I love yous and she and Kate ran off to catch up to Tanya. I was overcome with loss as I watched them leave. When I could no longer hear their footfalls, Edward led me up to my bedroom. The plan was so leave right away but Edward pulled us down on my bed. I allowed him to wrap me in his arms because only he could give me the comfort I needed. I closed my eyes and nestled my face into the crook of his neck as he rubbed the back of my head.

I could hear the rest of the Cullens preparing to leave ahead of us as the sound of car trunks and doors slamming wafted up to my bedroom from outside. Edward and I laid in silence for only a few minutes. We both knew it was not a good idea to linger here for long.

"My family has a house in British Columbia, in a small town called Atlin. I was thinking maybe you and I could go there for a few days. Have some time to just us before going to Forks," he whispered.

"Okay," I agreed immediately.

Edward made all the hurt go away. I didn't think about things so much when I was with him. Some time for just us sounded perfect right now and I was eager for it.


	26. Chapter 26

_**SM owns.**_

_**Thanks Mommakat!**_

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_**TPOV**_

I focused only on getting away. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other as fast as I could. Eventually I stopped running and just sat on the ground. I was nowhere descript, just in the middle of the forest. I took a deep breath and started complying a list.

Things That Would Be Worse:

1. Bella and Edward being together, but not mated.

being mated to Edward and he was with Bella.

in on Edward and Bella doing something naughty before I was told anything.

and Bella lying to me for almost two weeks about being mated all the while doing God knows what behind my back thinking that it would save me from being hurt and then telling me about their sordid affair after Bella has killed someone and staying out together all night while I worried to death about where they were and if she was okay.

Oh wait No. 4 actually did happen.

I growled in frustration and buried my face in my hands. I just couldn't believe that Bella would do this to me. I mean she was my sister for crying out loud! I knew that the mating thing couldn't be helped but did she have to lie! She told me that she hated the man, probably so I wouldn't have found out about them earlier.

How could she?

I stood up to pace and ponder. There were so many questions flying around my head right now. I wanted answers but I just couldn't look at either of them long enough to even ask them anything. I guess that I shouldn't have been surprised that Edward would pull something like this. He was an asshole of the first water, maybe it was his idea to lie and she just went along with it. Maybe Edward had taken hurting me up as a hobby…

"Tanya, are you alright?" I heard Kate's voice behind me.

I whirled around to find her and Irina standing just two feet behind me. I hadn't even heard them approach. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders in response to her question. I really wasn't sure how I felt.

"The main thing I feel right now is confusion. I mean I am hurt and more than a little angry but really I'm just confused," I replied.

"About what though?" Irina asked me.

"Well why did they have to lie for so long about it? What the hell were they doing last night? What have they been doing for the past two weeks? What did Edward mean that Bella had tried to fight the bond?" I asked rattling off a few of the questions I had.

"Well she said that she didn't want to hurt you. From what I know Bella didn't want anything to do with Edward," Kate said.

I knit my brows, "What do mean 'from what you know'? Did Bella tell you about this before," I asked.

"No," Kate replied. "But I overheard them talking one day in the piano room. I didn't listen too much because I don't like eavesdropping but I heard Bella saying something like 'we can't, we can't'," she said.

I didn't know what to think about that. Kate hadn't heard the whole conversation. Bella could have been talking about anything at that particular moment. I sighed not feeling too much better about what Kate had told me. I sat back down on the ground and my sisters joined me.

"You know that it wasn't her fault," Irina said. "Mating just happens."

"I know that. I'm not exactly mad that they're mated, it's more like I'm angry that it was behind my back! I'm angry that I had to find out like this! I'm angry that she sat there listening to me gush about him and advised me on what to do and she knew that I never could have him! I mean what the fuck was that shit!" I yelled as my rage started to get the best of me.

Kate and Irina exchanged wary glances and I sighed, shaking my head.

"Forget it! Let's just forget it!" I exclaimed. "I'll talk to Bella when I'm ready but right now we need to get out of Denali. I'm sure we've missed our flight. Now we'll have to drive all the way to Forks. Let's go," I said not waiting for a response before taking off back toward the house.

_**BPOV**_

I sat in front of the floor to ceiling mirror just staring at myself. I'd hated my red eyes when I first became a vampire. I thought they had looked odd on my then newly softened and angelic features. While I still hated the crimson hue, they seemed to fit me now that the demon I really was, was visible under my deceptively innocent façade. My fiery irises just made it easier for the humans to see what I had become. Now they could be warned away from me instead of being drawn in. The eyes were the window to the soul and it was no doubt that my eyes would reflect who I truly was now.

"Bella!" Edward said suddenly behind me on the floor and gently shaking my shoulders.

I turned my eyes to his reflection in the mirror and furrowed my brows wondering why he was shouting in my ear.

"What is it, Edward?" I asked.

"You've been sitting here for nearly an hour and I've been calling your name for the last two minutes. You weren't answering me," he said and I could see the concern clearly on his face.

I knit my brows further. Had he really been calling me? I hadn't heard him say anything. I hadn't even heard him come in the room. The last I remember, he'd told me to go inside and take a look around the house.

Upon first seeing the Cullen's Atlin estate, I had been excited to look around the place. It was huge but only slightly bigger than my house in Denali. It was a wooden three storied home and sat on an enormous plot of land. It was surrounded by trees and there was a lake not even half a mile up. Once inside I'd taken in the very cozy yet chic design. I felt as if I was at a sort of extravagant ski lodge or something.

The home was decked out with plenty of fireplaces, windows and French doors, a terrace in the back of the house on the second floor and a huge balcony stretching across the front of the house on the third floor from which you could see the water. I'd looked through most of the place but once I'd gotten to one of the bedrooms and come across a mirror, I had been distracted by my reflection.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said giving him a smile that could hardly pass as genuine. "I was just thinking," I told him.

"About?"

I shrugged and pulled away from him and the mirror. I stood and looked around the room and saw that none of our bags were in.

"I thought you were bringing our things in," I asked turning to see him leaning against the mirror.

"I did," he replied. "I put them in the master bedroom. This is just an extra room. We'll be staying on the third floor. It was the best view and we can access the balcony from there."

He reached out his hand to me and I took it. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin atop my head. He was so tall.

"What were you thinking about," he asked returning to his previous question that I had blown off. I sighed realizing that he wouldn't give up until I answered him.

"My eyes."

"They'll turn gold again, Bella."

"I don't want them too."

He pulled back seemingly in shock. His brows were puckered in confusion as he waited for me to explain my answer. It wasn't something that I really wanted to get into. I just wanted to lie down and pretend to sleep in his arms. Pretend that I was allowed a break from the turmoil I was currently submersed in.

"It's just easier for others to see what I really am this way. There is no hiding with eyes like these," I shrugged hoping the action would successfully display nonchalance so that we could talk about something else.

No such luck.

"What exactly do you mean?" he asked.

"These are eyes from a horror story, a nightmare, and they fit me."

Edward groaned in what was either frustration or pain, or maybe both. He took my face in his hands and angled it so that I was looking up at him.

"You're not a nightmare," he said sternly. "I thought we discussed this already."

"We have," I nodded. "Now, Edward, can we just lie down now and pretend to go to sleep. I'm tired."

"You're tired?" he asked incredulously.

"In a sense. I like to pretend to sleep sometimes, like right now," I told him. "It's been a long couple of days."

He looked at me for a second longer before nodding his head. He took my hand again and led me up to the third floor. The bedroom was huge complete with a fireplace, sitting area, king sized bed, entertainment system, and adjoining bathroom with both a glass shower stall and sunken in whirlpool bathtub, and his and her sinks. The room had recess lighting and was on a dim setting. The thick dark grey comforter was turned down as if Edward had expected that I would want to lie down and I could see the satin sheets underneath.

Being in this room made me realize just how alone Edward and I were. We'd been alone before of course but there was always a chance that someone would come and interrupt us at any moment. That wouldn't happen here. We were free to do whatever we wanted, for as long as we wanted. That made me nervous.

"Um, I'm going to go take a shower and change out of these clothes," I told him, not able to meet his eyes.

"Okay, Love. I'm going to use one of the other bathrooms and do the same," he replied. "I unpacked and put your clothes in the closet over there. I figured we'd stay for three days?"

I nodded my head. I was glad that he was planning to shower somewhere else. I know that we had sort of bathed together not long ago but it just felt different now.

"Three days is perfect," I nodded.

"Okay."

Edward went to the closet to get what he needed and I headed straight for the bathroom. I shed my clothes and stepped into the shower turning on only hot water. I sighed as it hit my skin and the steam plumed thick in the air around me. I just stood under the spray letting it wash over and cleanse me for a long time before finally washing and getting out. I dried off using an ultra thick bath sheet and wrapped it around me. I went into the closet and thought carefully before deciding what to put on.

I heard Edward come into the bedroom and climb into bed. I wondered what he was wearing. Did he put on actual pajamas or was he just in underwear. Was it even really such a big deal what I wore or what he wore? Probably not. I hoped not. After much unnecessary debate in my head I decided to just put on a silk pale pink camisole and matching shorts.

I went out into the bedroom and noticed that Edward had on a simple white cotton t-shirt. I didn't know what bottoms he had on since he was under the covers already but I forced myself to understand that it really didn't matter about his attire.

I walked over to the bed and he lifted the covers for me to slide in but I hesitated only momentarily as my nerves came back. I got in but kept a small distance between us. We both turned on our sides to face each other and Edward caressed the side of my face with the back of his hand.

"You're nervous," he said in the way that was undeniably a statement of fact but still clearly seeking a response.

"We've never been this alone before."

He smiled and reached for my hand which I immediately gave him. He kissed my knuckles. This was only his second time doing so but it was already becoming one of my favorite ways he showed his affection for me.

"Yes," he said against my hand. "There's nothing to be nervous about. We're just here trying to relax, take some time for us."

I nodded my head and looked into his warm golden eyes. "But what does that even mean," I replied. "I know that we're mated but is there really even an us? I have all these feelings for you, this intense want, need, and overwhelming sense of love but I don't really know much about you. I feel like I'm alone with a stranger but head over heels for him at the same time," I said.

I watched as a frown took over Edward's features. I didn't like how it looked on his face. I found myself closing the small gap between us. I smoothed over his brows with my thumb and kissed his forehead.

"I know what you mean. I wish it wasn't this way either. I wish that things had been easy from the start and our relationship could have fallen into place in perfect order. We've done everything backward," he murmured.

"We have," I nodded. "But we can use this time to play catch up."

"Of course," Edward agreed. He pulled me tighter to his chest as I rested my head on his shoulder. "We're in bed because you want to pretend to sleep. Why do you do that," he asked.

"Well I started after you arrived. I was trying to come up with ways to stay away from you, maintain the will to do so, trying to make you hate me, and all the while advising Tanya on her relationship with you was very draining mentally," I said. "Of course I wasn't physically tired but at the end of every day I just wished that I could stop for a second and rest. So I crawled into bed, cut off every sense I could, and just pretended that I was sleeping."

"Oh Bella I hate that this all was so hard on you," Edward said. "I was hurting you and not even knowing it."

"No, I was hurting myself. If I had just been honest with myself and everyone else, things would have been much easier for you, Tanya, and me," I countered.

"But did you know that we were mates from the beginning?"

"No."

"Then you had no way of knowing that you weren't just merely attracted to me. I don't blame you for trying to avoid me at first. You thought you were attracted to the guy that your sister wanted. You were just being a good sister, loyal and selfless."

I looked up at Edward and couldn't help but smile.

"Why are you always trying to redeem me?"

"You don't need to be redeemed, Bella. I'm just trying to get you to see yourself the way I do," he replied.

He kissed my forehead and then my lips. His candy covered kisses were so addicting. I felt like we needed to catch up on not only our knowledge of one another but also the kisses I'd prevented us from sharing as well. I slid my hands from the nape of his neck into his hair and kept his face connected to mine.

His lips moved slowly yet passionately. It was so different from our first kiss that had been frantic with urgency and need. He was taking his time, tasting and savoring me. My tongue sought out his as his hand slid down to grip the curve of my ass. I arched my chest into him and he pressed our centers together allowing me to feel his reaction to me. I smiled against his lips before nipping his bottom lip and sucking it into my mouth.

"Tell me something else," I said as I kissed along his jaw.

"My favorite color used to be black until I saw you in a blue dress."

He pushed his body into mine until I rolled onto my back to allow him on top of me.

"I've always loved books and since becoming a vampire I can read almost three a day if I don't do anything else," I whispered licking the outer curve of his ear and earning a gasp of pleasure from him.

"I've been to high school seven times, college eleven times, and med school nine times. I'd love to be a doctor like Carlisle but I don't have that much control yet."

He nudged away the strap of my camisole with his nose and placed open mouthed kisses on my shoulder and flicked my harden nipple with his thumb making me moan in response.

"You'll get there, I know it," I replied. "In my human life I lived in fifteen different cities and towns in Arizona."

I pulled off his t-shirt and ran my nails down his chest. He hissed and bucked his hips into me as the smell of my own arousal filled our noses. I could feel my panties being soaked through and I whimpered underneath Edward wanting him to rock into me again but he didn't.

"I taught myself to play the piano when I was human and after my change playing was the only thing that could calm my newborn rage." He took my breast into his mouth and swirled his tongue around the peak before taking it between his teeth. I threw my head back on the pillow and moaned loudly loving the way he made me feel. I thrust my hands into his hair and fisted it tightly.

"Is there a piano here?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Good. I was always clumsy as a child until my step dad Phil started taking me on hikes and rock climbing with him. After braking damn near every bone in my body I started paying attention to my surroundings and learning to mind my balance," I told him.

Edward took my shirt off and reared back on his heels to gaze down at me. I watched his face as he studied my body. No one had ever looked at me with that amount of lust and awe. With anyone else it would have made me uncomfortable, but with him it just turned me on and made me crave his touch.

"I hated what I was before I met you. I was repulsed by myself and how different and unnatural I was. I'd never met a vampire, let alone a newborn, who was so happy, controlled, and accepting of their change. I had been expecting to meet some erratic, temperamental beast when I came to Denali. Instead I was greeted with a cheerful, warm, gentle, and smiling beauty that took my breath away. In time you made me see that it was my mindset that made me unhappy and not my species."

I looked into his face and saw the sincerity there. I could see what my unconscious actions had done for him, what it meant to him. I didn't want to think of Edward hating himself. I only wanted happiness for him and the idea of anything less than that pained me. I grabbed his hand and pulled him back down on top of me. I wrapped my arm around his waist and used the other to run my fingers through his silky bronze strands.

"Maybe you wouldn't have chosen this lifestyle had you been given the choice but that doesn't mean you should let that stop you from being happy. In my opinion being human isn't necessarily a better option. We can't be in direct sunlight, we can't sleep, and we have to sustain off blood. But think about the humans who have it worse. The humans who need sleep but because of their circumstances are too afraid or are too worried to sleep. Think about the humans who need food but are too poor to afford it.

"Our bodies are indestructible yet some humans have to be in pain constantly due to some accident, illness or abusive situation. We don't always have it easy Edward but our situation could be infinitely worse. We will never have to worry about the harsh realities that humans do. If you can't be happy about anything else pertaining to being a vampire, be happy and grateful that so many things are so readily available and far less complicated for us than if we were what we used to be."

"Oh Bella. You see things that I never would have. I'm so fortunate to have found you and I'm adding that to the list of things that being a vampire has blessed me with," he murmured as he stared into my eyes. "I love you so much, Bella."

"As I love you, Edward."

Edward and I talked the night away. We exchanged stories about our change and our first hunts. We shared the memories we held from our human pasts. His memories were fewer than mine since he was a human nearly a century ago but they included Saturdays playing baseball with his friends, Sundays home with his parents, learning the piano and his father giving him whiskey some nights after dinner claiming it would put hair on his chest. I told him about taking care of my mother, moving constantly, settling down with Phil in Phoenix and then being abandoned. I'd had to calm Edward down after that particular story. I was surprised by the intensity of his anger toward my mother but I was also secretly flattered. He cared about me so much.

We talked about all the different high schools we'd attended and the people we'd encountered. We'd both admitted to being lonely and in someway jealous of the superficial troubles and dramas of the normal teenagers around us. Edward had isolated himself from his fellow students in order to keep the secret, I had isolated myself because I knew that I wouldn't be around long enough to even build a real relationship with anyone.

He told me all about his rebellious years and how he'd hunted humans that were dangerous or criminals in order to still get the taste of human blood but not kill innocent people. He eventually still ended up feeling guilt over the lives he took. He found himself losing touch with his humanity and suffered crippling depression. We discussed his family and how he loved them and the special relationships we had with each of them.

I hung on his every word, loving the melodic cadence of his voice, the expressions he made and his nostalgic smiles as he recalled a memory that was special to him. I was so happy to just be able to talk to him, to observe and take him in. To share my life with him and have him do the same with me. It was so easy to talk to him, tell him things that I would be too embarrassed to tell anyone else. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to lie in his arms half naked and divulge all my secrets to him.

As dawn approached, we moved our conversation to the balcony. Wrapped in the oversized quilt that Esme made, we nestled ourselves into a cushioned wicker loveseat to watch the sun rise over the lake. I sat beside Edward with my legs curled under me and my head rested on his shoulder.

"It's so beautiful here, serene and private," I murmured.

"I'm glad you like it. This is one of Jasper's favorite locations," he replied.

A scowl instantly covered my face at the mention of his name. "I don't care to talk about Jasper," I said unintentionally bitter. Of course Edward noticed.

"Something happen between you two?" he asked trying to sound like the matter was really of no importance to him but I could hear the intrigue in his voice.

"After Alice talked to me, she must have talked to him because after I beat Emmett wrestling I tried to give him a hug to share the victory but he pushed me away and offered me his hand," I said holding back a growl at the memory of Alice's smug little face.

"He was the one that taught me to fight, that's what we did most of the time when we disappeared by the way. After Emmett beat me hunting that time, Jasper told me he would teach me to fight so that I could get revenge," I continued.

"Was that what Irina was hiding that day?" Edward asked.

"Oh no," I shook my head. "I've always been interested in Jasper's scars. One day we had been talking and he ended up telling me all about how he'd gotten them. I wanted to take a closer look so he rolled up his sleeve to show me. I was leaning over him, rubbing his arm. My face was pretty close too because each scar smells different and I was smelling them. Irina saw and thought we were having some intimate moment and that I was head over heels in love with him," I explained.

Edward laughed so hard that his entire body shook, shaking me in the process since I was leaning on him. I guess the situation was pretty funny now and I ended up laughing with him.

"Classic Irina," he said still chuckling.

I nodded my head in agreement. "That was the day I told Jasper about how I felt about you. I trusted him with my secret and he was such a good friend to me. Whenever I was having a particularly hard time with you I would talk to him. I thought of him as my best friend, maybe even a brother. Then when he pushed me away like that I just felt like he'd spat on me or something. He clearly didn't try to defend our friendship to Alice. I was sort of dependant on him when it came to needing a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or just a distraction from everything. He knew that and he didn't care," I said.

"Then he came to my room after Dominic trying to help me. It just made me even angrier. I would have never let my shield down if you hadn't asked me to. I felt so guilty about everything I'd done and I just wanted to appease everyone I'd hurt. I didn't like the way his gift felt, though. It was so odd. I knew how I wanted to feel, how I should have felt but he was there preventing it and making me feel what he thought I should. I just didn't like it and I had to get away after that," I told him.

Edward wrapped his arms around me. "I guess that was my fault too. I had no idea what was going on with you and Jasper. I was just jealous and if I had never made Alice suspicious she would have never thought anything about your friendship," he said. "I didn't take into account the fact that you weren't used to what Jasper can do either. It can be very unsettling and that night definitely wasn't the night to try it for the first time. I was just worried about you. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for caring about me. You had no way of knowing how I would react. Your intentions were pure," I said repeating what he'd told me before about my intentions with Tanya.

He snorted a laugh and kissed the top of my head. We fell silent as the sun made it's appearance casting a red, orange, and pink glow into the sky that then reflected onto the water. I could hear the birds of the forest waking up and chirping wildly, wings fluttering as they made their way to find food. There was a slight cool breeze that carried the smell of the greenery and the fresh water of the lake. Being with Edward only made the experience so much more peaceful.

I glanced up at his beautiful face, full lips, and perfect jaw and found that he was already looking at me. I smiled and nodded my head toward the rising sun.

"You're missing it," I said.

He shrugged. "You outshine the sun," he replied.

I rolled my eyes trying to hide the fact that I was completely thrilled. "You're going to spoil me, if you keep talking like that," I said.

"I want to," he said. "Will you let me?"

His lips connected with my neck as my eyes fluttered closed. Edward looped his arm around my waist, lifted me and placed me to straddle his lap. I moaned as his tongue snaked out and glided over my collarbone leaving a wet trail which he blew over with his cool breath. My body shuddered as I gasped at the sensation. When he moved to kiss my wrist, I remembered the first time that he had done that, how good it had felt and how I had lied. I had lied about so much and I wanted to go back and make it right. I closed my eyes and dropped my shield.

"Bella!" Edward gasped in shock but then fell silent as I replayed my memories for him.

I thought over the moment I'd first laid eyes on him. How attracted to him I had been and how strong the pull was. I thought over how I had to force myself to overlook it and how hard it was to do so. I remembered how moved I had been when he'd first played for me and how entranced I had been by the way his hands moved.

I thought about the night I'd seen him watching me dance and how I'd imagined the guy I was dancing with was him. I thought about how I had been so glad to see him when I opened my eyes. I thought about the hunt and divulged to him how it had really felt when he touched me, kissed, and licked my wrist. How much I had wanted to touch him too and how I hated to lie to him. I thought about the first time he played the lullaby and how much I loved it. I recalled finally tasting his wrist as I thanked him for composing that song for me. Then finally I replayed just how much pleasure I'd felt when he'd followed me to my spot and brought me to orgasm

When I opened my eyes, Edward's eyes were filled with unfathomable love and lust. His hands gripped my waist so tightly yet it wasn't tight enough. His lips crashed into mine and he kissed me hungrily and demanding.

"Thank you," he breathed into my mouth. "Thank you so much for showing me that."

"I wanted to," I replied just as breathlessly. "I lied so much."

I was still straddling his lap and his erection was prominent and twitching beneath me bringing on my own arousal. Edward's hands covered my bare breasts and pinched my nipples. His touch felt so good, it carried the heat of a thousand suns and I knew without a doubt I would never get enough. I rocked over him and he growled dropping his head down to my shoulder. He suddenly grabbed my ass with both hands and lifted me up. We were back in bed, not half a second later.

My body was screaming for his as I kissed his lips and felt his hands travel down my body. They stopped at the waistband of my shorts. He didn't say anything but I knew that he was asking for permission. I didn't want to end our kiss to speak either so I dropped my shield again.

"_Off!" _I thought urgently. _"Take them off!"_

Edward pulled off my shorts as I shed him of his flannel pajama pants. I opened my legs to him so that his hips could nestle there. He sucked my earlobe into his mouth and I bit my lip to quiet my moan.

"Please don't do that," Edward whispered huskily. "I need to hear you."

I release my lip. "Then touch me."

He did not need telling twice as his hand fisted my panties and ripped them away from me. I whimpered, turned on by his fierceness but then he slowed down. He pulled back to look in my eyes as he cupped me between my legs. My hips grew a mind of their own as they bucked into his hand.

"So hot, so wet," he murmured.

"More, Edward, please more," I begged.

I felt his finger dip inside my folds going directly to the bundle of nerves hidden there. I gripped his other wrist as he brought his mouth down to my breast. I was panting and mewling as his finger moved in alternately fast then slow circles. Having him touch me there was pleasure I'd never known. It felt so good and all I wanted was more.

"Edward! Please," I cried and he removed his finger entirely.

That was not what I had meant at all. My eyes snapped open to see what he was doing. He moaned as he sucked at the finger that had been inside me. My eyes widened in surprise.

"So good," he muttered more to himself than to me.

He brought his mouth down and kissed the valley between my breasts and began a trail of kisses going down my body. My breathing picked up as I realized what he was about to do. I propped myself up on my elbows to watch his descent. He lifted my thigh over his shoulder and I chewed my lip in nervous anticipation. He looked up at me through his lashes and I nearly came right then.

"So beautiful," he whispered.

He lowered his head and his warm tongue entered me. I fell back to the bed arching my back and moaning his name. He buried his face into me and sucked my clit into his mouth. He grabbed my hands to keep me still as I writhed on the bed.

"Oh God!"

Edward's tongue swirled around me and lapped at my pussy mercilessly. I clutched the sheets in my hands hearing the seams rip in my grasp. The pleasure was almost too much as my legs trembled and my toes curled.

"So sweet, Bella, so sweet," he said into me.

I felt every word and a coil deep inside me began to tighten. Edward slid a finger deep inside me. "That's right. Cum for me, baby." He curled his finger and my body all but exploded.

"Oh! Edward!"

I felt as if I was caught in a riptide of sheer ecstasy. My body convulsed with it as Edward's tongue languidly stroked me. His hand caressed my thigh as I tried to calm my breathing. Edward kissed his way back up my body and finally came back to my lips. I fisted my hands in his hair and thrust my tongue into his mouth tasting the sweetness he had spoken of. I groaned at the eroticism of it.

Edward ripped away his boxers much like he had my panties. His erection sprang free and the sight of it made my mouth water. It was so very pretty, so very big. He grasped my hip in one hand and planted the other one flat on the bed. He looked into my eyes and my breathing picked up yet again. I placed my hands on his shoulders as I tried to relax. I heard that it didn't hurt as much when you relaxed.

"You're nervous?" Edward said, this time it was a question and I could see the confusion on his face. "Do you not want to do this? Am I moving too fast?"

"No, no," I rushed to assure him. I definitely wanted to do this with him and I didn't think he was moving too fast. "It's just that…I've never done this before."

Edward blinked in response. Then a slow but elated grin spread across his face.

"Never?"

"Never," I shook my head. "I was a virgin when I was changed and I never loved any humans enough to let it go that far."

"I've never done this either."

I imagined the smile that appeared on my face was identical to Edward's. We would be each other's first. We would be each other's only. He leaned down placing feather light kisses on my forehead, my eyelids, each cheek, and then finally my lips.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

I nodded my head and brought my hands to his face to kiss him again sweetly, "I love you."

"I love you too."

Edward positioned himself at my entrance and refocused his eyes on mine as he pushed forward slowly. My mouth fell open as I gasped. He entered me inch by inch and while it was not necessarily painful it was a sensation that I needed to get used to. I could feel him stretching me, filling me until he was fully seated inside.

"Are you alright, Love?" he asked pushing my hair away from my face.

"Perfect," I replied and nodded to encourage him to keep going.

He pulled back out leaving me entirely and then coming back. I moaned feeling more pleasure this time. I began moving my hips to meet his third stroke. It took no time for us to find a steady pace. Our bodies worked as one to please one another. It felt so good to feel him inside me, to surround him. His hands gripped and caressed me, as his mouth lavished me with kisses on my lips, neck and shoulders.

He thrust inside me deep and hard. I didn't fail to tell him just how good it felt. I verbalized my pleasure, panting in his ear and kissing his neck. As his strokes began to hasten, I realized he was close. Just knowing that my body could bring him the intense release that he'd already brought me made the coil inside me bunch again.

"Oh God, Bella! So tight," Edward growled, his fingers dug into my hip before bringing his thumb to my sensitive nub. I cried out arching my back and clawing at his as my orgasm rocked through my body. Edward dropped his head to my shoulder groaning loudly as I pulsed around him and evoked his orgasm as well. He moved his hips slow and deep as we rode out our release breathlessly murmuring our love for one another.

When Edward pulled out I whimpered at the loss of the intimate connection. He pulled me to his chest and buried his face in the crook of my neck. My mind was reeling with what we'd just done. I had always thought it was cheesy when people referred to sex as making love, but not anymore. That was exactly what Edward and I had done. To feel him that way, skin to skin, joined so deep internally, and pleasing each other so entirely was an experience made out of love. I would never tire of sharing that with Edward so I dropped my shield.

"_Let's do it again."_

He laughed and hitched my thigh to his waist.


	27. Chapter 27

_**SM owns.**_

_**Thanks Mommakat!**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**EPOV**_

I chased after Bella, finding myself in a state of complete happiness. She was giggling as she purposefully kept herself just out of my reach. It was an odd feeling not being the fastest person around but it didn't stop me from laughing along with her. Bella made everything better and I could honestly say that the past twenty-four hours had been the very best of my very long existence.

I was more carefree with her, less uptight, and my body just felt lighter. A couple months ago if someone suggested playing naked tag in the forest I would have not even dignified it with a response. When Bella suggested it, I was all for it. Plus every time she turned around to run backward and taunt me I got a wonderful view of bouncing boobies. And running behind her gave me the viewing of her perfect ass in motion.

"Come on, Edward! Catch me!" Bella called to me over her shoulder.

My response was a feigned growl of frustration and it was met with another pealing of her beautiful laughter. She turned to taunt or flash me, I wasn't sure which but as my eyes took in the sight of her I knew that I was almost done playing tag. I wanted to hold her again. When she turned around again, I subtlety slowed down causing her to slow down in response.

"Edward, baby, the slugs are moving faster than…," she began but I instantly sped up catching her off guard and trapping her in my arms. She shrieked in surprise as we crashed down to the ground.

I pinned her arms above her head and raised a brow as I looked down into her eyes. "Now what were you saying?" I asked not able to stop the smirk from appearing on my face.

"You tricked me," she pouted.

I wanted to say something in response but I was distracted by her full bottom lip poking out and calling out for me. I answered it with a kiss as Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and legs around my waist. We couldn't seem to get enough of each other. In the past day we had done nothing but talk and fool around. It was a pattern that I would have no problem following for the rest of my life.

I felt myself harden as the scent of Bella's arousal reached my nose. I smiled as her hips bucked against me. The woman was insatiable…and I loved it!

I grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I could see and feel the nerves radiating off her. I had asked Bella if she wanted to fly into Forks but she thought it would be better if we drove. I had the feeling she just wanted to extend either our time alone or our time away from Tanya and the others. I drove the speed limit just to give her the extra time she wanted even though the slowness was driving me crazy.

We both knew that we would be bombarded with millions of questions that we agreed to field honestly once we arrived. I wasn't as nervous as Bella but I was a little worried about what we might come home to. I knew that Esme would be overjoyed that I had found someone and be giddy and overly affectionate with Bella. I didn't know how Bella would like that seeing as she hadn't really gotten to talk to her sisters about anything and two of my family members have been in on the secret for a while now.

I had called Esme to make sure that she was mindful of the fact that this wasn't a happy occasion for everyone involved and to try and contain her happiness until things could get settled. She had said she understood and I hoped that she really did.

When we finally arrived at my house, I glanced at Bella and she was staring at me helplessly. I pushed my seat all the way back so that there was plenty of room between me and the steering wheel and patted my thigh. Bella climbed over the console and nestled into my lap, resting her head on my shoulder. I hummed her lullaby as I stroked her head.

"We can do this together now. You don't have to shoulder this alone and no matter how hard this turns out to be, at the end of the day we'll have each other to lean on. Everyone inside that house loves us and wants happiness for us. It'll all work out. I really believe that Bella," I murmured into her hair.

She sighed and nodded her head. "And I believe you," she replied. "Let's just get this over with?"

I nodded my head and opened the car door. She got out first and then I followed taking her hand as we walked up to the house. I could hear all the thoughts inside racing through all the questions everyone wanted to ask and deciding if those questions _should_ be asked. Apparently everyone knew that this was a delicate situation and no one wanted to step on any toes or cause further discord.

When we reached the porch, the front door was opened by Carlisle. He smiled brightly at both of us and stepped aside to let us in.

"Hello Carlisle," Bella said stopping to stand in front of him. "Thank you so much for letting me and my sisters come here," she said looking down.

Carlisle placed his hand on her shoulder and waited for her to meet his eyes. "You don't have to thank me Bella. You're sisters have been considered a part of this family for a long time and now you are part of this family as well. We've all been where you are at one point or another and your sisters have always made their home available to us in times of need. It's only right that we return the favor," he told her.

"But _you've_ never bitten anyone," Bella replied dejectedly.

Carlisle opened his mouth to respond but Kate appeared and gave Bella a hug.

"That's because Carlisle's a freak, Bella," she said smiling up at Carlisle jokingly. "I'm convinced something went wrong during his transformation and he's not entirely vampire."

Bella gave a small but genuine smile in response as the rest of us laughed.

"_How has she been?" _Kate's thoughts came to me.

I frowned slightly and gave a tiny shrug of my shoulders hoping she would understand this to mean just okay. Over the past three days Bella had been up and down. Sometimes she would seem completely fine and at ease. Other times I could see that she was thinking about something not all that pleasant but whenever I asked she would just smile and change the subject. I didn't want to push her, she would tell me in her own time. Kate nodded her understanding and we all made our way into the living room where the rest of the family were.

"_Hot damn!" _Emmett's thoughts boomed in my head startlingly loud. After spending so much time alone with Bella and having my head all to myself I would have to get used to being around my family, especially Emmett, again. _"You got laid! You've got that I'm Getting It On A Regular Basis swagger now!"_

I rolled my eyes but involuntarily smirked a little too because I knew that he was right. I could see myself through everyone's eyes and I did look different, better, and if I must say so myself I could also see some swagger in myself.

"Where's Tanya?" Bella asked quietly from beside me.

"She just went out to hunt. She should be back in a couple hours," Rosalie told her.

"Just went?" Bella repeated. "As in she heard us coming and left?" she asked turning her gaze to her own sisters.

"Don't worry, B," Irina said. "She wants to talk to you. She actually doesn't want to talk to anyone else right now. She's just nervous about what she might learn once she does."

Bella seemed to feel slightly better about this. I kissed her temple and earned a smile in response. I could hear Esme mentally swooning. I rolled my eyes but then I heard Alice's thoughts and they were completely opposite of Esme's. She was angry…at me.

"_Why couldn't you have just told me," _her thoughts demanded.

Apparently she and Jasper had gotten a chance to talk while Bella and I were away. Alice has been mad at me before, but this was different. She was genuinely hurt and felt a little betrayed. Out of all of my siblings Alice and I had the closest relationship probably because of our gifts. She had a right to be mad at me and now that everything was out in the open I did feel guilty.

"I'm sorry Alice," I replied earnestly.

She got off the couch and stormed past me and out of the house. It was clear that I was supposed to follow her. I glanced at Jasper and he smiled at me apologetically.

"Good luck," he said.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked me.

"Alice is about to kick Edward's ass for keeping secrets," Emmett chuckled.

"Shut up, Emmett," I scowled before turning back to Bella. "I'll be right back."

She smiled and nodded her head before moving over toward Irina and Kate. I left the house at a run trying to get to Alice quickly. She wasn't known for her patience. When I reached her about three miles into the forest away from the house she was glaring at me with her arms crossed over her chest.

"You talked to Esme?" she asked bitterly. "I mean I know that you've known her longer and she's our mother but Edward I would've thought that you would have come to me in addition at least. I'd like to think I would have been a big help to you in all this. Now you've made a mess of everything!" she exclaimed.

"The only reason I talked to Esme was because she caught me one night and I had to explain. From what I told her she figured out that we were mates. I didn't even know myself at first, Alice. I hadn't planned on talking to anyone about it. I was only focused on trying to work things out with Bella," I replied.

Alice shook her head. I could see in her thoughts she wasn't satisfied yet.

"We never keep secrets," she said.

"I know and I'm sorry. I didn't keep this from you to hurt you. I just felt like it would have been better to keep it between as few people as possible," I replied.

She began pacing back and forth, "Even if I could understand that, Edward you manipulated me! You knew there was nothing going on with Bella and Jasper and you made me think there was because you were what? Jealous?" she asked incredulously.

I could see in her mind that this was what was bothering her the most. She was thinking about the things she'd said and done to Bella. Thinking about how she made Jasper steer clear of Bella and how happy she was when she saw that Bella had been genuinely hurt that day that Jasper pushed her away when she went to hug him.

"I took what you said seriously, because I trust you and I would have never thought you would have lied to me. Especially about something that involved Jasper!" Alice said beginning to raise her voice.

I dropped my head because I knew that she was right. I was undeniably wrong and I wasn't sure how to regain the trust that I lost from her.

"When I first talked to you about Bella and Jasper, I didn't know that there was nothing going on. I did think that it was strange that they were always running off together, but I know that doesn't make it better because the main reason why I brought it up with you is because I was jealous. I didn't understand why I wanted her so much, why I felt so possessive. She was always avoiding me or inexplicably mad at me. I wanted to talk to her so bad but she was always with Jasper and you did exactly what I wanted you to. I wanted him to stay away from her so that I could move in," I admitted to the ground.

"I can't say I'm sorry enough. I was just so confused and all I wanted was for Bella to spend time with me. I was being selfish, even Bella told me so when I admitted it to her. I don't expect you to forgive me anytime soon but I do understand what I did wrong and I'm prepared to deal with the repercussions," I muttered.

"This isn't just about me and you Edward," Alice said. "You're my brother and you've been in my life for over fifty years. You know that I can't stay mad at you. Mating is complicated in general and I know that your situation with Tanya just made everything infinitely worse," she continued before sighing and sitting on the ground and patting the space next to her.

I went over and sat down as she pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She had gone from angry to sad and I felt awful that all this was my fault. A sad Alice was a rarity. She was always so impossibly happy and optimistic, but I had taken that away with my envy and selfishness.

"I'm blind when it comes to Bella. I have no idea what's going to happen between us. I was so mean to her. I basically called her a slut and threatened to hurt her. She probably thinks I'm an awful person now. You and Jasper both care about her a lot and I'd like Bella and I to be friends but that's probably never going to happen after how I treated her," Alice grumbled pulling at the grass.

"Just talk to her, Alice. Bella is the most forgiving and understanding person. We've all gone about things the wrong way. Once we get past all the mistakes and misunderstandings I'm sure everything will be fine," I said. "You and Bella have plenty of time to start over and build a friendship."

"Of course, I plan to talk to her and apologize but I have no idea of really knowing. I don't like being uncertain. I've never been uncertain about anything."

I laughed. "Don't worry Alice. I'm certain. Bella will forgive you."

"I guess I should trust you…," she replied glaring at me but I knew that the worst was over. I could see in her mind that she wasn't really mad at me anymore, just worried. "And what about Jasper?" she asked. "Is she mad at him?"

I sighed. "Truth be told, I think she'll have a harder time forgiving him. She was really upset when we talked about him," I answered.

"That's what Jasper thought as well," Alice nodded.

"Don't worry Alice. Even though she was upset, I could tell that she really loves him. She said he was almost like a brother to her. If you can forgive me, then she'll forgive him," I told her.

"I'm only forgiving you if she forgives me and Jas. I would really love for her to think of me as her sister too. Everyone else loves her, even Rose. Hopefully I can make things right," Alice said.

"You will. Now let's head home. I want to be there with Bella when Tanya comes back."

_**BPOV**_

After Edward left with Alice, I sat on the couch in between Irina and Kate. The room was quiet and awkward and the tension was starting to put me on edge. I'm sure they all had something to say but for some reason or another were holding it in. After just a few seconds of this I was ready to scream just to make noise.

"Will someone just say something!" I exclaimed exasperatedly.

"Is the house in Atlin still standing?" Emmett blurted. "I'm sure Edward was far too repressed to not get a little crazy once he finally got some," he continued.

My mouth fell open in complete shock. I didn't know exactly what kind of questions I had been expecting but it certainly was not that. I recovered quickly once I remembered who the question was coming from. Of course he would only be interested in the sex part of the situation. I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but smirk as Rosalie hit him upside the head.

"Yes the house is still intact but only because we didn't always keep things indoors," I replied simply.

"Really?" Irina asked turning to face me more. She opened her mouth to say something else but then knit her brows as if thinking better about whatever she was going to say. She patted my knee and whispered, "Details, later."

I giggled and nodded my head.

"I just want to know why you chose Jasper to confide in. I mean he's a guy. You should have come to a woman. We could have done a better job of helping you," Rosalie said.

"I know that now," I shrugged not missing Jasper's wince out of the corner of my eye. "But back then I was just so confused and that's just how it ended up working out."

Esme opened her mouth but she never got to say anything. We could all hear Tanya coming back. I sighed, preparing myself for my talk with her. I'd been so nervous before but oddly enough I wasn't anymore. I just wanted to fix things and just be the happy family we used to be again

She came into the house and her eyes met mine instantly. She gave me a tight lipped smile and reopened the door. She nodded her head toward it and I got up to follow her out. We set off into the trees walking at a human pace in silence. Oddly enough there was no tension between us. I could tell that she was upset still but not as she had been before. I guess Kate and Edward had been right about giving her time to process.

"I wish we were at your spot. We always had deep conversations in that tree of yours," Tanya eventually said breaking the silence.

I smiled sadly as I realized that I was the reason that we couldn't talk there and wouldn't talk there for many years. Tanya looked over and saw my expression and grabbed my hand.

"Bella please don't worry about that. I know that Dominic was your friend and that you loved him very much but death is a risk we make every time we get involved with a human. And it's not just because of what we are. Death is inevitable for them, sweetie. I think that every human has their time. That night was Dominic's. Of course we can never know for sure but Dominic might have died that night whether you were with him or not," she said.

I nodded my head. She was right and looking at it from that point of view made me feel somewhat better. Maybe Dominic would have died anyway that night. His death was decided but the cause was unclear. I would have preferred me not being the cause, but I was and I could not go back to change that. I could however make sure that I was not the cause for anyone else.

"Thank you," I murmured.

"No need to thank me. I've been there countless times. Slips like that are rare but not impossible. All we can do is our best. What happened was awful but remember that pain for the future. I'm sure you will redouble your efforts to never feel it again," Tanya said.

There was a small silence as I left her words sink in and heal me. I felt lighter as I took on Tanya's rationale as my own. I was so happy that it was her that had changed me. I was no longer human but she taught me to be humane. I made mistakes but she taught me to learn from them and I loved her so much for that.

She sighed heavily and turned to face me head on. I knew that it was time to get to what we had came on this walk for.

"So right now, I just want to listen. I just want you to tell me the story from the moment he walked through the door to the morning you told me," Tanya said.

I nodded my head and did exactly that. I gave as many details as I dared. I wanted her to really understand that it was never my intention to hurt her. That there was never a time that I thought about Edward and did not have her in mind at the same time. When I finished my story, her face had taken on that blank expression again. I was worried as to what that might mean but I'd done what she wanted and now it was her turn to speak.

"Okay," she nodded. "I get what you tried to do and after hearing everything it's really hard to be mad at you. I understand how mating works and Bella please understand that I'm happy for you. It's just that Edward and I have a history. It's not a necessarily pretty one and maybe it wasn't as significant to him as it was for me but it was a history none the less," she said. "I'm not ashamed to say that I'm jealous of you. I'm so jealous that I could explode with it. I've wanted Edward since the moment I saw him and it's killing me that he's yours and has been yours before you were even born," she told me her calm composure falling away.

"Buy you're still my sister. It's my venom running through you and maybe it's not as powerful as the bond you have with Edward but it's damn strong. I love you and that'll never change. So if you ever find yourself feeling that I'm keeping my distance or avoiding you it's not to hurt you, it's too protect what we have. I don't want to damage our relationship because I'm bitter, okay?" she said.

I knew that I would have been crying if I were human. I realized that no matter how much I wanted things to go back to the way they were, it would probably never happen. How could I expect to maintain my relationship with Tanya if she could not stand to see me with Edward. Even now a part of me was itching to get back to him. I hated being away from him and she hated seeing me with him.

"Tanya…," I whimpered but stopped because I didn't know what else to say.

"It won't be so bad, you'll see. You'll make time for me too right?" she asked with a smile that did not reach her eyes. I nodded my head and she pulled me into a tight hug. "I love you, B," she whispered and I echoed the sentiment immediately.

She broke the hug and dropped her eyes to the ground. "I was thinking while you were away," she began. "Irina, Kate and I will be leaving for Russia in two weeks.

We bought five tickets. I don't know how much you and Edward have discussed but if you decide to come with us of course he will want to join you and he is more than welcome to. But if you choose to stay here with the Cullens we'll understand," she said. "So talk it over with Edward and let us know okay?"

She didn't wait for my reply before heading back to the Cullen's house. It was a good thing that she didn't too because I think the shock was preventing me from moving. I had not given one thought as to the upcoming move to Russia or how Edward and I would handle that. Would I leave my family or would he leave his?


	28. Chapter 28

_**SM owns.**_

_**Thanks Mommakat!**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**BPOV**_

I could see Edward pacing on the front porch as I ran back. I smiled at the sight of him probably worrying about me. I'm sure his family had told him that I'd gone off with Tanya. The second he heard my approach he stopped his pacing and looked up with relief on his face.

"Why do you even have a cell phone? You never answer it and that's probably because you never carry it!" he exclaimed pulling me into his chest.

"You're such a worry rat. I'm fine," I replied as he kissed the top of my head.

"Did you talk to Tanya? What happened?" he asked pulling back a little so that he could see my face.

"Yes and everything, well almost everything, is fine," I replied. "She's not mad at me or anything, but there are a few other things you and I need to talk about."

He grabbed my hand and led me to the porch steps so that we could sit.

"What is it?"

"Well first I was thinking maybe we could keep our PDA to a minimum when Tanya's around. She's admitted that she's jealous and of course that's understandable but she's my sister and maybe until she really gets used to us we can just not be so…enthusiastic?" I asked looking at him pleadingly.

"Well do you mean when she's in the room with us or when she's in hearing range?" he responded.

"In the room," I qualified.

Edward nodded his head and kissed my knuckles making me smile. "Okay," he smiled. "We can do that."

I leaned over and kissed him on the lips in thanks. That was the easy part. I was sort of afraid to bring up the next topic for discussion. I knew that it would not be settled as easily as abstaining from flaunting our relationship in front of my sister and no matter what we decided one of use would be doing something we really wouldn't want to do.

"Will we be living with your family or mine?"

Edward's eyes widened in surprise and then seconds later his brows knit as he thought. I watched his face intently trying to decipher what he was thinking by any minute change in his expression but I couldn't figure out anything. He remained silent for a whole two minutes before he finally spoke.

"Well what do you want to do," he asked.

"Oh Edward. You know what I want to do just like I already know what you want to do. I want to stay with my family and you want to stay with yours," I said exasperatedly.

"You're right. I'm sorry," he replied and knit his brows again dragging his other hand through the bronze mess on top of his head. He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again.

"What?" I asked knowing that he was holding something back.

He grimaced a little before turning so that he could look into my eyes. "Bella I'm not just saying this because I want to stay with my own family, okay?" he began.

I nodded my head to let him know that I understand and also to encourage him to keep talking.

"I think that it just makes more sense to stay with my family," he said softly. "It's just this whole thing with Tanya. If we have to hide our affections for one another from her, I think for us to able to have a healthy relationship we should be away from her."

"But we know she'll be okay after a while. We just have to give her time. She said that she's happy for us. We just sprung it on her and she needs a little time to adjust that's all. Plus your family is already so large and maybe people in Forks will start to get suspicious when your parents adopt another child that just happens to fall in love with another one of their adoptive children," I replied.

I wasn't stupid. I knew that Edward's lone reason was far better than mine combined but I really didn't want to part from my sisters. We'd all had an instant connection to each other and that had always been special to me. I'd felt like I'd found people that I'd belonged with. Of course, I belonged with Edward now too, so maybe I was just being greedy. I was free to be with Edward, Tanya had understood, and now there were no hard feelings between the three of us. Maybe in addition to that trying to stay with my sisters was like trying to have my cake and eat it too.

"Well how about we see how it goes with Tanya? If it looks like she'll able to handle us being together then we'll go to Russia," Edward said.

I could tell by the look in his eyes that he really didn't want to go. Edward had been with his family for a lot longer than I had been with mine. Of course we loved our families equally but it would probably be a lot harder for him to adjust without the Cullens than it would for me to adjust to living away from my sisters.

"No," I responded shaking my head. "We can stay here. It probably is for the best."

"But Bella I don't want you to be unhappy," he replied.

"I won't be. I have you," I smiled hoping that it looked more authentic than it felt. I kissed his lips and then got up to go for another walk. Edward grabbed my hand to stop me though and waited until I was looking into his eyes before speaking.

"We'll talk about this again. A decision doesn't have to be made today. Clearly neither of us is happy with the decision but we're too busy trying to sacrifice ourselves for the other. There has to be a way for both of us to be happy. We just have to take the time and find it," Edward said.

I grinned and swooped down to give him a real kiss. I pressed my forehead against his still smiling.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too," he replied.

When I finally broke away from him, I told him that I was going for a quick hunt. He offered to come with me but I wanted to go alone. I wasn't even really thirsty, I just wanted to conduct a little experiment. I didn't want anyone to bear witness if I had a hard time taking down the blood of an elk when I used to be completely satisfied by it. I wasn't sure how gross animal blood would taste now that I'd had human blood and I needed to see how hard it would be for me to jump back on the band wagon.

I ran out into the woods and after about twenty minutes came across the scent of a few elk. I tried not to dwell on the fact that it didn't smell appealing at all. I focused instead on the thick wet thudding of it's heart. I tackled it down and snapped the neck before biting into his neck. Tangy bitter blood gushed into my mouth. I groaned at the taste but forced myself to keep drinking. Even when not thirsty, vampires had a subtle burn in their throats. I tried to tell myself that this blood, no matter how awful tasting, would soothe that burn and nothing else mattered.

That's what I _tried _to tell myself but actually all I could think about was the taste. It was nothing like how Dominic's had tasted, how pleasure more intense than an orgasm had filled and pulsated through my entire body and made me tingle all over with delight.

Abruptly I pushed the elk away from me undrained and sat down on the ground with my legs crossed and my face buried in my hands. I felt like such a failure, such a disappointment. Maybe my family didn't think of me that way, but I felt that way about myself.

"It just takes a little time. Don't worry. You're a natural vegetarian."

My whole body stiffened and I tried to hold back a growl. Even if I hadn't wanted to be alone right now, he was the last person I wanted to see. I didn't move and tried to pretend that I hadn't heard him in hopes that he would just go away. When I heard his footsteps coming closer instead of retreating, the beginnings of a growl rumbled deep in my chest as a warning for him not to bother me.

"Can I just explain," he asked.

"Go away."

"Please Bella, you're my friend and…," he began but I cut him off.

"Well then why couldn't you have just explained that to your fucking wife!" I shouted. My temper was worse than it probably would have been if I hadn't just failed at my first attempt at hunting again.

"I'm sorry," Jasper said stepping closer to me but I leapt to my feet and put more distance between us.

"Well you should be," I shrugged and crossed my arms over my chest. I wanted to go back to the house, back to Edward, but I would have to pass Jasper to do so and I knew that he would try to grab me to stop me. I wasn't sure how I would react to physical contact right now.

"She came to me saying that you weren't to be trusted. That you were using our friendship to get closer to me so that you could eventually sleep with me. I knew that she wasn't all that happy with all the time we spent alone but I didn't think that she thought that. She told me that she'd already talked to you and that if you bothered me again, I should let her know immediately," he told me.

I scoffed and turned away. I really wasn't interested in his little tale. I had more important shit to deal with. I decided to put Jasper and Alice on my list of reasons why staying with the Cullens wouldn't bode well.

"Bella! Please! Just listen to me," he exclaimed.

"Jasper, I really don't care," I said turning back to face him. "You and I don't have to be friends. I understand, really I do. If Edward told me to stay away from you, I'd do it in a heart beat. We're just not that important to one another," I shrugged again.

I could see that my lie had hurt him. I wanted to convince myself I didn't care because he had hurt me too but I just couldn't. I hardened my face as my insides softened at his expression of pain.

"You don't mean that," he said shaking his head. "You're just upset."

"Whatever makes you sleep at night," I replied. "Well…you know…figuratively," I added.

He chuckled and moved to close the space between us again. "Bella, you are important to me. She told me what she said to you and I was never so angry at Alice as I was at that moment," he said. "We argued for a long time that night. I told her she had no right to say anything like that to you and that you could spend as much time with me as you wanted. Then she got upset and said that I was probably enjoying your attention and that we were already sleeping with each other. It was a big mess and our biggest fight ever. I never agreed to stay away from you Bella but I could feel how confused and upset she was. I love you Bella, but I'm sure you can understand that she comes first. She's my wife and I love her more than anything. I wasn't used to feeling those emotions coming from her and I just wanted to make her feel better," he continued.

"I assured her that there was nothing going on beyond friendship between you and I. She nodded but I think she just didn't want to argue anymore. Things had been a little rocky between us ever since that fight so when you came to hug me I was more so trying to avoid another fight with her. I wasn't rejecting you," he said.

I chewed on my lip trying to decide whether this explanation was good enough. I mean, I really did understand that Alice came first in his life. Edward definitely came first for me. I tried to put myself in Jasper's place and tried to see myself doing something different. I would do anything to keep Edward from being upset. Why wouldn't Jasper be the same with Alice?

"It was really shitty of you to try to shake my hand in light of a deflected hug," I told him.

"You're right. There's no way I can explain that. It was some kind of fucked up reflex," he replied shaking his head sadly at the memory.

"You really hurt my feelings," I grumbled. "You were the only person I could talk to about Edward and I thought you had abandoned me."

"I know and I'm so sorry. It was never my intention, darlin. I would never abandon our relationship. You're my little sister," he replied.

It made me happy that he thought of me as his sister. I pursed my lips and glanced up at his face. He was smirking, clearly thinking that he'd gained my forgiveness.

"You look awfully smug for someone still skating on thin ice," I said.

"What can I do to make it better?"

"Apologize and call me darlin again," I said trying unsuccessfully not to smile.

"I'm sorry, darlin," Jasper exclaimed dramatically while simultaneously pulling me into a hug. I giggled and hugged him back.

"Next time you shun me to keep Alice happy, just push me away and forget the handshake all together," I told him.

"I'll keep that in mind," he said. "But I don't plan on shunning you again and I didn't shun you that time."

"Yea, yea whatever," I said pushing him back and raising my fists. "Now I'd like to kick your ass as a last punishment."

Ten minutes later I was face down on the ground.

"When will you learn, Grasshopper?" Jasper sighed.

_**TPOV**_

I'd thought Denali was a small town but Forks was about half the size of it. It was a great location for vampires like us looking for permanent residence but my sisters and I had never settled here. It was much too green and the men left much to be desired, good shopping was nonexistent and so was the night life. Bella liked to have a good time, I hoped that she didn't decide to stay here. I really didn't think Forks was the place for her. Seeing her with Edward would take some time getting used to but I think that seeing her happy with him would cure me. Not to mention while she would be constricted to one man, I would be free to roam and that was a definite plus.

I moseyed along down a sad little street looking for something to catch my interest, a distraction of some sort. I'd been thinking about my conversation with Bella for the last couple of hours and it was starting to exhaust me mentally. I couldn't help but feel a little guilty when I thought about all she'd done to keep herself away from Edward for my benefit. It showed how much she really loved me and how good of a person she was. I couldn't see myself doing anything that selfless.

On the flip side of things, I was still a little upset that she didn't trust in my love for her enough to think that she couldn't have just come to me. I know for a fact that I would have rather known sooner than later. Of course it wouldn't have been an easy conversation but it would have been better than the one we ended up having. I would have rather found out in a one on one conversation without everyone watching and her clinging to Edward like a life preserver.

And while I was sad that the distance Bella enforced hurt her, I was secretly elated that it had hurt Edward. I was still a little bitter that he pretended to want me all that time. Even though I hadn't gotten a chance to get revenge on my own, I felt as if Bella's refusal had gotten the job done. Now he knew how it felt to be turned away by someone you really wanted.

I found myself inside a miniscule diner, filled with dirty old men wearing flannel coats and trucker hats. Part of me wanted to just turn right back around and leave but my body seemed to have a mind of it's own. I walked over and sat on a steel bar stool at the counter with a ripped red cushioned seat. A tired looking old woman with frayed grey hair came over to take my order.

"Just a cup of coffee, please," I told her.

She nodded her head and brought me a cup and filled it. I poured in some sugar and milk and stirred it languidly watching the milk float like clouds in the dark liquid. My mind had wandered thinking about Russia and how it would be so good to be home again. I couldn't wait for Bella's first strip to Moscow, there were so many things I wanted to show her. I was snapped back to the present though when a mind bogglingly delicious scent filled my noise. I clasped my hand too tightly around my spoon bending the metal to the shape of the inside of my fist as I got myself under control.

My breathing picked up as the scent got closer to me and I felt the human's heat on my back. I spun around and found myself face to face with the most beautiful man in the universe. His skin was the most amazing russet complexion and his long dark glossy hair was pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck. His eyes were so dark and his lips so full. He was just a little taller than me and with an athletic build. Not too big and not too thin. He was perfection.

"You new in town?" he asked.

His voice was deep, a little gravelly and totally sexy.

"Yea, I…I'm…um visiting family," I stammered. His beauty was making me stupid.

He chuckled and the sound did all kinds of things to my body. I had to cross my legs.

"The Cullens?" he asked.

My eyes widened in shock.

"Yea, how'd you know?" I responded.

He grinned exposing his magnificent pearly white teeth. He began to slowly lean in closer to me and I gasped in anticipation.

Was he going to kiss me?

God I hoped so!

Unfortunately, he did not. Instead he almost gave me a heart attack.

"Because I know what they are. And I know what you are."

He pulled back and he chuckled again at what had to be a comical expression of shock on my face. I didn't know what to say or do. Did he really know or did he mean something else? He cleared that up with his next statement. He brought his hand up and cupped my cheek. Despite all the turmoil raging inside me, I found myself leaning into his hot hand, enjoying the softness of his skin and the odd tingle that traveled down my body that sparked from his touch.

"You're a beautiful, beautiful vampire," he whispered.

"How…," I began feeling dazed and confused but he cut me off. He dropped his hand and before I could whimper at the loss of his touch he grabbed my hand. He tossed some money on the counter to pay for my coffee and nodded his head toward the exit.

"Don't worry," he smiled. "Come with me."

I nodded my head and let him lead me out of the diner.


	29. Chapter 29

_**SM owns.**_

_**Thanks Mommakat!**_

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_**TPOV**_

I knew that there were many questions I should have been asking the beautiful man beside me, but as we rode in the huge black SUV there seemed to be no room for conversation. Though the radio was on, I couldn't tell you what song was playing. He was still holding my hand and really that's all that mattered to me at the moment.

We drove until we reached a small house in a quiet little neighborhood. I then was forced to disentangle our joint hands in order to exit the car, moving as fast as I possibly could to retrieve whatever contact he offered to me. Since he knew my secret, I never bothered to walk at a human pace. My unnatural speed didn't faze him at all.

"I think I'm going to have a lot of fun with you," he commented, then led me up the walkway to the house. Once inside I took a moment to observe my surroundings. Hard wood floors, dark furniture, minimal decorations, and a huge flat screen TV made up the living room. The oak coffee table was scattered with every sports section the newspaper provided over the past three days and the kitchen sink held the dishes from what was probably last night's dinner.

I wanted to tour the house, particularly his bedroom, but he plopped down to the worn khaki colored couch so I did the same wanting to stay near him.

"What's your name?" I asked, realizing I had never asked before.

"John Uley," he answered, a single dimple gracing his handsome features. The sight alone almost causing me to swoon.

"I'm Tanya Denali," I replied, introducing myself as well. "Well actually Tanya Novikov originally, but Denali is what my sisters and I call ourselves while in the Unites States," I continued, freely volunteering information he probably didn't even care to know but I wanted to give him anyway.

"That's Russian right?" he asked.

"Yes, that's where I was born," I replied. "Where are you from?"

"I used to live on the Quileute reservation not far from here, La Push. Do you know it?"

"No, I don't," I replied, frowning. "Why did you leave?"

He shrugged and relaxed back into the couch, slumping in his seat a little. "I just never really felt like I belonged there. I mean I love my tribe, of course, but I've always felt as though La Push wasn't really where I was supposed to be," he said, a crease marring his perfect brow. "When I graduated high school, I applied to Columbia University just so I could get away. I tried to find a place I could truly feel at home. After my acceptance letter arrived I happily left for New York. Then, after receiving a Bachelor's degree in visual arts I left two years later. New York's a great city but it didn't feel right to me. I moved around a bit before I came back here about three months ago; I missed my family. I wanted to be close to them but I didn't want to be in La Push,"

"I'm sorry," I said reaching for his hand again trying to offer him some form of comfort. "I can't even imagine what that's like. Russia's always been a part of me. I move around a lot too but that's different seeing as I never change. People would get suspicious. It's not ideal to stay in one place for a long time but wherever I go, I try to incorporate a little piece of Russia into it," I replied.

John looked up at me, a curious expression on his face. His dark orbs bore into mine as if searching for the answer to a question unknown to me. I itched with curiosity but before I could begin to speak he answered.

"You haven't asked how I know about you, yet," he observed looking down at our clasped hands. He twisted mine in his massive hand tracing random patterns on my palm, then my wrist, and up my forearm.

I knit my brows wondering why that hadn't been the first thing I asked him but the answer came too quickly. I didn't really care. I was overjoyed I'd met him with no secrets complicating our relationship, no fear despite what he knew about me and that made me ridiculously exuberant. I was positive any other person would have already been running to the hills. John was brave, though. He'd walked right up to me, told me what he knew, then brought me to his home where we could be alone. He was so incredibly special and I felt lucky just to have met him. However for curiosities sake, I asked him how he knew anyway.

"My tribe, the Quileute's, encountered vampires many, many years ago. Back then certain members of the tribe could shape shift into wolves. The wolves were able to defeat the vampires and the tribe passed down the tale of what happened with the vampires. We've always known and recognized the Cullen's for what they are straight away," John told me.

"Do the Cullens know?" I asked.

John nodded his head. "They do and they stay away from La Push. They know they aren't allowed there."

"So you recognized me as a vampire and your next thought was to just walk right up to me," I stated incredulously. "Maybe you are a bit more insane than you are brave. You do realize that I could have killed you?" I teased.

He grinned down at me, exposing every single one of his perfectly pristine teeth, stretching his lovely full lips, and exposing that damn dimple of his causing momentary distraction. Instinct took hold of my body and my next thoughts were positively sinful; I wanted him, _bad_.

"It was neither bravery nor insanity that made me walk up to you," he said, his face suddenly serious as he stared down into his lap. "You remember how I said I've never felt at home anywhere?" he asked bringing his dark eyes back up to look into mine and I nodded my head. "Well when you walked into that diner, I did feel at home. I felt at home in the drive here and I feel at home now. I feel at home with you."

I could hear the sincerity in his tone and see the wonder in his eyes. I knew that he was confused by the way that he felt and I could understand that but I wasn't confused in the least. I felt so drawn to him, there was some sort of magnetic pull keeping my body close to his. I'd just met this man not even an hour ago and here I was in his home talking to him and feeling as if this was the most natural thing in the world. I felt comfortable with him, like I'd known him forever. And when we touched…an electric current sparked and traveled all over my body.

I couldn't believe after a thousand years I'd found him. For so long I believed true love just wasn't in the cards for my sisters and I. I wanted to dance, shout, cry with joy. Everything felt so right, I was busting at the seams with happiness and I desperately wanted to tell him but I couldn't find my voice. All I could do was sit there and stare at him. I was absolutely sure of my feelings for him but I was uncertain of his. I knew what he was for me but I wasn't sure if telling him was a good idea or not. I didn't know if he would find the idea of mating scarier than he had the existence of vampires. When I failed to respond, John continued.

"I know that probably sounds crazy, but I know what I feel. I've been searching for this my whole life. I couldn't not go up to you. I had to be close to you, meet you, talk to you. I saw you before you had even walked in the door and I knew what you were. I instantly needed to get to know you so I used the only thing I could to get you to come with me. I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable," he said.

This time I was quick to respond. I shook my head rapidly and turned so that I was facing him more. I used both of my hands to hold one of his.

"It doesn't, John," I said. "I know exactly what you mean, I feel the same," I told him. I paused and chewed my lip, a habit I'd picked up from Bella, and contemplated my next words. His expression was incredulous. He was confused and I could help him understand. I sighed and decided to just go for it. He was my mate and even if he found the concept hard to accept, he wouldn't be able to fight our connection. The past week with my sister had taught me that.

"John," I said closing what little space there was between us. "We're mates."

_**BPOV**_

"You know one of the big reasons why I really don't want to stay with the Cullens?" I asked rolling over in the grass to lay on my belly. Kate, Irina, and I were all gathered in a big grassy field having some girl talk. I'd shared the intimate details of my time with Edward in Atlin as my sisters giggled and squealed like school girls. After that we'd moved on to discuss which family Edward and I would stay with.

"What?" Kate asked still on her back, her forehead creasing as she tried to look at me without turning.

"I don't want to go to high school anymore!" I exclaimed. "I hated it the first time! I refuse to spend the rest of eternity in a class room with hormonal teenagers! Four years of catty girls and douchey boys were enough the first time round. I know they do it to keep up appearances but Esme doesn't even have a job. Why can't they pretend that they're being home schooled or something!" I whined.

Irina laughed and Kate rolled her eyes.

"I know what you mean, B" Irina giggled. "I wouldn't be too keen on that idea either if I were you. I mean high school boys barely last ten minutes in bed. What the hell are you supposed to do with that?" she continued.

Kate reached over and flicked Irina's ear. "She's not interested in boys, anymore! She's got Edward now!"

Irina simply shrugged in response.

"Bella, the school thing I'm sure can be worked out. Maybe you could suggest going to college instead of high school. I mean it's the same amount of time in one place and maybe it could be longer depending on what majors you guys choose," Kate suggested.

I nodded my head and rolled onto my back again. I'd never been to college and that was definitely something I could get on board with. There were so many new things to learn at college and in reality I really should have been in college.

"Don't give her ways to make it right, Kate! We want her to come home with us!" Irina screeched.

"No, we want her to be happy," Kate hissed.

Irina sat up and crossed her arms over her chest. "Edward has spent decades with his family. We only just started ours with Bella. He can't take her away from us this soon!" Irina pouted, and I could see the sadness in her eyes.

"Irina don't make this any harder for her than it has to be! This is a decision Edward and Bella have to make on their own. We'll listen if she wants to talk but we shouldn't encourage her one way or the other!" Kate snapped.

"Kate you know…,"

I tuned my sisters out as they argued. While they resolved the issue of how to advise me, I needed to really think about what I was going to say to Edward. We were supposed to talk again about our decision soon and I was planning to stick to my resolve about staying here, but only if I could change a few things, like not going to high school, and maybe once a month trips to Russia.

"Hellllloooo Ladies!" a giggly Tanya sang as she danced over to where we were.

Irina and Kate stopped mid-argument and we all looked up at her in confusion. Tanya wasn't someone who was often sad or anything but I'd never seen her this happy and apparently neither had Irina or Kate.

"What's up with you? Did someone tell you the sun really does shine out of your ass?" Irina teased.

Tanya placed her hands on her hips and smiled smugly down at Irina, "Yep!"

Kate rolled her eyes, "Must have been some good sex then. Care to share? Bella just did."

"Really?" Tanya asked. "Why didn't you guys wait for me?"

My eyes shot to Kate as my mouth fell open in shock. How could Kate be so insensitive? Of course Tanya would not want to hear about me and Edward having sex. I looked up at Tanya and saw that she looked a little sad. My mind scrambled for something to say to make up for Kate being uncouth but came up with nothing.

"Really?" Tanya asked. "Why didn't you guys wait for me?"

My mouth fell open in shock for the second time. She _did_ want to hear the details?

"Um…I just assumed that…maybe you weren't…ready for that?" I replied awkwardly.

Tanya sat down on the ground beside me and draped her arm over my shoulders.

"I am. If you come to Russia, I'm sure you know I'll have to listen to you guys going at it sooner or later. I can't expect you to leave the house every time you want to have sex can I?" she said playfully.

"Well, I…,"

"I know what I said. But let's not worry about that anymore. I'm perfectly fine now. I promise," Tanya interrupted me.

I searched her eyes, trying to identify even a hint of falsehood in what she'd said but found nothing. How could her feelings have changed so drastically in such a short amount of time?

"So have you talked with Edward, yet?" Tanya asked.

"Yea, I think we'll probably stay here. I don't want to take Edward away from his family, but I have some compromises I want to discuss with him too though. I don't know how long I can be away from you guys either. I miss you all already and you haven't even left yet," I responded.

Tanya nodded her head slowly in understanding. "Well I was thinking…maybe we could stay in Forks for an extra week? I mean there's really no rush, right?" she asked glancing between Irina and Kate who both nodded their agreement.

"So don't stress yourself out. Take all the time you want; we could even stay another month if that's what you need," Tanya smiled.

She stood up and went bouncing away, leaving as quickly as she had came. I looked at Kate with a raised eyebrow wondering what the hell…or _who_ the hell had gotten into Tanya.


	30. Chapter 30

_**SM owns.**_

_**Thanks Mommakat!**_

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_**BPOV**_

A smile found its way to my lips as Edward's fingers moved along my side. He was pretending my ribs were piano keys as he hummed the music of my lullaby in my ear. The feather light movement of his fingers against my skin tickled and I couldn't help giggling at the sensation.

I nestled further back into him as we spooned on his huge bed with the gold comforter. We'd been holed up in his room for over half the day doing absolutely nothing. We'd listened to music, talked, and did a fair amount of making out but that was it. It was raining in Forks again as per usual but I enjoyed watching it through his glass wall as the water hit the leaves of the trees and made them glisten.

It was shaping up to be a very perfect day. I couldn't think of another time when I'd felt so content, so blissfully happy, and comfortable. I turned so that I was facing Edward and tucked my face into the crook of his neck so that I could breathe in his heady scent. His fingers relocated their concert along my vertebrae.

"You make me so happy," I murmured.

"I love you so much," was his reply.

Just after my lullaby concluded, a growl formed low in Edward's chest, "Go away," he seethed.

I looked up at him in shock. Was he talking to me? What had I done?

"But Edward you've been monopolizing her all day! I just want to talk to her for a few minutes!" a high pitched voice squeaked from somewhere downstairs.

I wrapped myself tighter around Edward. I wasn't going to get up anytime soon. Not for her anyway.

"Later, Alice," Edward replied dryly. "Go pester Jasper."

Alice stamped her foot and I scoffed. Still a brat.

"_And you said she's your favorite?" _I dropped my shield to ask Edward. He snickered as he buried his face in my hair.

"Alice, Today is Edward and Bella Day. I'll speak with you tomorrow," I said.

She sighed heavily, "Okay. Fair enough."

Edward and I stayed locked away in his room in our own little world for another three hours. As we stretched out on his leather couch, him in between my legs with his head rested on my belly, Edward brought up our decision.

"Tanya's coping better than I thought she would have," he mentioned coolly.

"True, but she hasn't been around much either," I countered.

"Whenever she is though, her thoughts about us seem to be completely free of any jealously or ill will. I really feel like moving to Russia would have no negative impact on her," he told me.

It was true that Tanya really seemed to be happy for Edward and I. She actually seemed to be floating around on cloud nine for the past week and a half. However, she would only be around for five hours a day at best. It seemed as if she came around only to make an appearance and then run off again. Kate, Irina, and I had tried to ask her where she spent her days but the only answer she would give was that she had never known what treasures Forks had held before. She was being vague to say the least, but I decided not to question her new found joy and just let her be.

"I don't think it will either, but what about you?" I asked. "I've been watching you with your family and I don't want to take that away from you."

Edward sat up and pulled me so that I was sitting on his knee. He kissed my temple and then turned my face to him and kissed my lips.

"I love my family but I love you more. I want to do whatever will make you happy," he said.

"Seeing you happy makes me happy."

"Bella!" he groaned in mock frustration. I could see the smile he was poorly trying to conceal. "We're going in circles here!"

He was right and I knew it. I just didn't want to do anything that would put a strain on our relationship. The Tanya situation may or may not be an issue anymore but both our families as a whole still was.

"Maybe we can alternate," Edward suggested. "Go back and forth between families every year."

I shook my head. "No. I did enough moving around when I was human plus that wouldn't fit into your family's lifestyle. I was thinking that I could visit my family for a weekend every month," I said.

"A flight to Russia from here takes about 28 hours. A weekend trip there is pointless. How about during holiday breaks from school?" he replied.

"That's another thing," I said hesitantly. "I can't do the high school thing. Can't we just keep going to college instead?" I asked.

"Of course, if that's what you want," he nodded. "Maybe we could spend summers in Russia then. Or Summers in Forks if you want. I've never been to college in Russia before," Edward mused.

"But what about…," I began but Edward covered my mouth with his.

"We. Are. Going. To. Russia," he said stubbornly between kisses.

I smiled. After what felt like a battle for our own custody, it seemed Edward and I were finally reaching an agreement.

"It would be fun to go to college in Russia. Neither of us have done it before. It can be an experience that's new to both of us. We can tackle it together," I said turning to straddle him. His hands gripped my waist and moved down my thighs only to come back up and grip my ass.

"What will you study?" he murmured as his lips began a beautiful assault on my neck.

"Literature. Russian, of course," I whispered as I felt Edward harden against my center. He slid down on his back with me still straddling him. "Where will we apply?"

Edward, ever the eager lover, decided to simply rip away my dress rather than pull it over my head. I moaned and grinded against him in response. Edward smirked as he realized I'd foregone a bra and sat up to take my erect nipple between his teeth before flicking it with the tip of his tongue. Our previous conversation was all but forgotten at that point. I just wanted to feel him inside me.

I rocked slow and hard against him as he groaned against my breast and pushed back up into me. I could smell my own arousal, feel it pooling my panties and probably soaking through Edward's jeans. I was all for foreplay usually but all of a sudden I was filled with insane need to feel that deep physical connection between us. Maybe it was because we'd finally worked out an agreement we could both be happy with or maybe because we'd been in bed all day and had not had actual sex. Whatever the reason, I needed him and I needed him bad.

I pushed him back down so that he was flat on the couch again. I shed us of the rest of our clothing and positioned myself above him. I lowered down on this throbbing cock and tried to quiet my own moaning as I took him in inch my inch. Edward's head fell back on to the couch emitting his own guttural moan when he was buried to the hilt.

"Touch me, Edward, please," I gasped as I rode him.

He wrapped his arms around me, one around my lower back the other supporting the back of my head as he kissed up the column of my neck and along my collar bone. He was so deep inside me and we moved in such a perfect rhythm as he thrust up as I came down. It wasn't long before my body started to tremble with my impending release. Edward sped up his movements and brought his hand down from my neck to my clit. My body exploded around him the instant his thumb made contact.

"Ah Bella!" Edward growled into my chest as I pulsated around him and ignited his own climax. We collapsed back down on the couch and Edward clutched my body to his as we slowly came down from out natural high. After we caught our breath he began to pepper my shoulder and neck with kisses. He lifted us from the couch and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pinned my back against the wall. Our first time had set a precedent, we could never do it just once…

_**TPOV**_

Everything about John was impossibly beautiful, even his penis! His dick was so beautiful that I was sure I could just have an orgasm by watching it. This was something I had decided to try out.

"You're making me feel awkward. I can't keep an erection and feel awkward at the same time, babe," John said as he watched me watch his penis.

I giggled and pulled the covers back over us. I kissed his full lips as I nestled my body into his.

"You have stamina like no other. I'm sure an erection of yours could hold through anything," I told him.

"You are great for the ego, you know that?" he laughed.

"You're just an amazing man and I want to make sure that you know it," I shrugged.

John sighed as he pushed my hair back behind my ear. He kissed the top of my head and rolled us so that we were laying on our sides facing one another.

"What's going on with Bella and Edward," he asked.

"From what I hear, it sounds like we'll be going to Russia soon," I whispered.

Over the past two weeks, I'd spent as much time as I could with John. I couldn't bear to be away from him. I'd told him all about my sisters and my very long life. I'd also told him all about me, Bella, and Edward. He'd never met them but he talked about them like he knew them. I guess after all I'd told him, he basically did.

"We had better start getting prepared then," he replied.

I shifted so that I was sitting on the backs of my legs as he propped himself up on his elbow. He grabbed my hand and kissed it smiling up at me adoringly.

"Don't you want to be with me?" he asked.

"Of course, John!" I exclaimed. "I just have to know that you know what you're getting into. It's one thing to know about vampires, it's another to actually be one. The first year is very difficult with controlling your strength and managing your thirst. Your emotions will be all out of whack for a while. You won't be able to sleep again. You can't be seen in the sun. It's an intense transition and it can't be undone," I told him. "I don't want you to regret it."

"Tanya the only thing I'll regret is not spending eternity with you. I've been a vagabond of sorts for years trying to find this feeling that I've got with you. Now that I have, I don't ever want to lose it. I don't ever want to lose you. If you're going to Russia, I'm going to Russia. As long as you're around, I want to be right there with you. Change me, baby. I understand and I'm ready."

I smiled and laid back down with him. Hearing him say that, was all I needed. The look in his eyes let me know that he wasn't lying or just trying to be brave. I had no doubt that he felt for me what I felt for him and if I was in his shoes I would want the same thing. I wouldn't tolerate anything less than eternity with him.

"Plus it wasn't hard for Bella right?" he asked.

"Yea but she's a little like Carlisle. They're both freaks of nature," I snorted.

"She can be my mentor then," he joked. "Being a freak doesn't sound half bad."

John was the eternal optimist. That or he was just cocky as all hell. I could never decide. I didn't mind either way, though.

"Let's set a date then," I said.

"We should do it soon. In a week. This Friday would actually be perfect," he replied.

"This Friday!" I exclaimed looking up at him in surprise. "All you need is four days to say goodbye to your family and be prepared to become a totally different species and move to another continent?" I asked.

"Yup," he answered with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

"You're like superman or something," I chuckled incredulously.

"The only family I have is my nephew. I work for myself. I'm only renting this house. And all the money I have is in a safe in the basement. I don't have much to do," he said.

"You don't want more time with Sam?" I asked.

"I've been traveling the country most of my life. We're as close as we can be seeing I was never really around. All I have to do is tell him I'm leaving again," he replied.

I found myself grinning like a kid on Christmas. Things with John and I had moved pretty quickly but it just felt right. I knew that he was it for me and I was it for him. It seemed silly to go through the long tedious process of dating and all that crap when we already knew what we wanted.

"Will it be weird to change me while I'm so old?" John asked curiously.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Vampires don't think of age the way humans do. I mean technically I'm 1005 years old, John. You're only 32. You're kind of like a baby to me," I said pinching his cheek.

He slapped my hand away from his face laughing, "That makes you a dirty old woman. A female pervert," he teased me right back.

"Only you and I know that," I responded. "To the rest of the world I'm just a 19 year old girl and you'll just be another sad guy in his thirties trying to relive his college years."

I clicked my tongue as I shook my head in feigned disappointment. He rolled his eyes and pinned me to the bed.

"Who cares. How do _you _see me?" he asked trailing sweet kisses up to my neck until he got to my ear where he took the lobe into his mouth.

"As the love of my existence. Keeper of my heart and soul. Apple of my eye and wind beneath my wings," I rattled off breathlessly as his renewed erection pressed against my stomach.

He chuckled huskily into my ear before entering me suddenly. I cried out in sheer pleasure and he lifted his head to look me in the eye, "I was thinking the same about you."


	31. Chapter 31

_**SM owns.**_

_**Thanks Mommakat!**_

_**I just wanted to let you all know that there only four chapters and an epilogue left to go! Thank you all for your support of this story! **_

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_**EPOV**_

I closed my eyes tight as I buried my face in the crook of Bella's neck. No matter how hard I tried to tune out the thoughts of my family, I could not. Bella was happy with the decision to go to Russia. I was happy with the decision to go to Russia. Kate and Irina were extremely happy. My family though? Extremely unhappy.

Well not my entire family, but the ones who I wanted to hurt the least were the same ones that were hurting the most. Carlisle had started to reminisce about how glad he had been when I joined him as a vampire. He hadn't realized how lonely he had been until he wasn't alone anymore. I was his first son, companion, and friend. Aside from Esme, he felt closer to me than anyone else and he would miss me terribly.

Esme on the other hand couldn't stop thinking about the last time that I'd left in rebellion. She was recalling how sad she had been and worried and upset. She remembered feeling like things had been incomplete, imbalanced and just odd without me around. She was not excited for that incessant feeling that something was missing to return.

Alice was sitting on the living room floor trying with all her might to see when I would return from Russia so that she would know exactly how long she would have to go without her best friend. She wanted to be able to say that I would only be gone for a short while, that her favorite brother would not stay away for too long. She however could not do that because since I would be with Bella my future was blank to her. She was trying to stay optimistic but with my impending departure and the lack of comfort her gift usually offered she was not faring too well.

Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper would all miss me as well but they were handling it well. Jasper's only concern was for how Alice was taking it since the emotions he felt from her were not the happy ones he was accustomed to. Emmett and Rosalie often lived away from the family so they were used to not being around me and everyone else for that matter.

The other half of my family were happy for me too, of course. They were glad that I'd found Bella and that we could happily be together. I would never even know how sad they were if I couldn't read their minds. They would never actually voice their sadness, not wanting to dampen what was a happy occasion for me, but since I could read their mind I heard and could not help but feel sad as well.

I stayed with Bella for the remainder of Edward and Bella Day and then showered with her afterward. Once we were both dressed we headed out of the room but just before we crossed the doorway she dropped her shield for me.

_"What's wrong?"_

I turned and smiled at her. Even though I was trying my hardest not let my reaction to my family's sadness show on my face, Bella still saw it. I didn't want to tell her about it though. I was happy with our decision and I knew that hearing about my family would make her want to reconsider.

"Alice is in my head," I lied rolling my eyes.

Just as she could read me, I could read her. Bella didn't buy my lie but she didn't call me on it either. She just nodded her head and we continued out of the bedroom for the first time in 24 hours. Alice who was eagerly waiting for us at the bottom of the staircase did not call me on the lie either. Her thoughts were so preoccupied with what she wanted to say to Bella that I doubt she even registered what I'd said. Bella kissed my lips quickly before sighing and turning toward Alice. I turned to Carlisle's study where he and Esme were. She was nestled in his lap simply enjoying the feel of his body and his scent. He was trying and failing to read the newspaper. He too was reveling in the nearness of his wife.

I reached the door to the study and was granted permission to enter before I even knocked. They'd heard my approach and as I entered the room Esme moved away from Carlisle. I met her in the middle of the room and engulfed her in a hug.

"I'm happy for you Edward. You know that I am so don't worry about me," she said hugging me with all her might. "I'll miss you just like any other mother would miss her child when they leave the nest, but I'll be comforted knowing that you'll be with your mate, you'll be happier than you've ever been, and you'll visit as much as you can," she continued.

I nodded my head not knowing if she was speaking for her benefit or my own. Probably both. I held on to her for as long as she held on to me. I just wanted to comfort her.

"It won't be like the last time. You won't have to worry about me because you're right. I'll be happier than I've ever been. I won't be gone forever. Just four years and then Bella and I will come back and live with you guys for a while. It's a compromise for everyone but it will work. We all just have to get used to it," I told her.

Esme nodded her head against my chest before giving me a tight squeeze and stepping away. Carlisle came to her and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Edward's right, honey. Everything will be fine. Let's not make this a sad occasion. We should be celebrating," Carlisle said.

Esme smiled up at him and then at me. "You're right! We should plan a party!"

_**BPOV**_

"Be..," Alice began but I grabbed her pinning her tiny body to me, her back to my chest, as I covered her mouth with my hand. I threw my shield over her and she went completely still in my clutch.

I'd been going slower than a human's walk trying to prolong my conversation with Alice. I really just didn't want to hear what she had to say. I wasn't really angry with her but I just didn't want her as a friend and I knew that that's what she would be trying for. We had only got as far as the forest's edge when I heard Esme's voice as she spoke to Edward. Her tone was so different from the warm smiling tone she usually spoke in. It made me pause, especially since she was talking to Edward. I should have felt bad for eavesdropping but my curiosity cleared that right up.

I listened as she tried to convince herself that she was okay with him leaving with me. The sound of her sorrowful voice broke my heart. Alice was flailing wildly in my grasp but I held on tight. No matter how awful it was of me to eavesdrop, I had to hear what they were saying. I hadn't spoken much with Esme but I liked her a lot. I could tell she was the very heart of the family and so sweet. Edward loved her so much and I knew that it had to be hurting him to hurt her. I'd been completely sold on going to Russia but now I found myself uncertain again.

I took off into the trees carrying Alice along with me. When I stopped and finally let her go, her mouth immediately started going a mile a minute.

"Bella do NOT worry about anything that Esme said. Really she'll be fine. We'll all be fine. Edward wants to go to Russia and Esme wants him to go too. She wants him to be happy and he is with you. We're just not used to Edward being away from the family so much. Esme's behaving like any other parent when their child moves away from home. This is healthy for her, for him too. Please don't say anything or change your mind about the decision you and Edward made and are completely happy with!"

It took me a while to process her words. Her words came so quickly even for a vampire and I had been momentarily distracted at how her lips had actually blurred as she spoke. Once I'd gotten over the awe, I felt my shoulders slump in defeat.

"I just wish that nobody would have to be hurt over this. I'm sure you know just as well as I do how much Edward loves Esme. He can't possibly be happy when she isn't. He'll regret leaving and then he'll start to resent being with me," I said.

Alice rushed forward shaking her head rapidly to grab both my hands.

"He won't!" she exclaimed. "Bella I do know how much Edward loves Esme. I also know how much he loves you. He could never resent being with you. It's just not possible," she replied.

"I just hate that Edward and I can't just have a normal relationship. Everything has been so complicated from the very beginning and I feel like that will never change," I sighed letting my body sag against a giant oak.

"Normal relationships _are_ complicated. Every couple has their issues, believe me," Alice said. "All that matters is that the love you two share is strong enough to overcome them."

I furrowed my brow and mulled over what Alice was telling me. Of course she was right. Relationships were never perfect. I would be setting myself up for failure allowing myself to believe that it was or ever could be.

"Do you believe he really wants to go to Russia?" I asked her.

"Yes, Bella, I really do," she answered assuredly. "Please don't worry about Esme. She wants him to go as well. Everyone knows that this is what Edward wants, that this is what is best for him," she continued.

"And Esme won't resent me either?" I asked.

"Not at all," Alice smiled shaking her head.

I found myself smiling back at her as well. So quickly had I began to worry and just as quickly she had assuaged me. I guess I could maybe somewhat sort of see just a tiny hint of why Edward adored the runty vampire.

"Thanks Alice," I said.

"You're welcome!" she replied her eyes lighting up like a Christmas tree.

She looked so happy to be talking to me and I had found it incredibly easy to talk to her. A semi-awkward silence passed between us before we moved to the real reason we had come out to talk. I watched as Alice wrung her hands and tried to figure out what she wanted to say or where to start.

"What I said and what I did to you was awful Bella. I can't even tell you how sorry I am. It was wrong of me to accuse and assume the things I did. You have every right to be angry at me. God knows that Jasper was," she said.

"I am angry," I nodded. "You didn't even let me speak so that I could explain. I wouldn't have told you about Edward but I would have assured you that Jasper is like a brother to me. I know that you didn't really know what was going on at the time but that was your fault. You didn't bother to ask Jasper anything. He's not an idiot and if he had any reason to think that I was coming on to him I'm sure he would have told me to back off all on his own. He would never do anything that even has the potential of hurting you," I replied.

Alice's face crumbled in what looked like pain as she nodded her head in response. "You're right. You are _completely_ right. I don't have much of an excuse as to how I behaved. I guess I'm just not as secure as I would have liked to think. My gift was rendered useless, I had Edward in my ear, who unbeknownst to me was extremely jealous of Jasper at the time, and well, to be perfectly honest, it just makes me nervous sometimes that Jasper has cared for other women," Alice admitted. "The others have been involved with people before they mated but they were never happy with those people. Jasper had actual feelings for someone that was not me and even though I know that it's impossible for him to want anyone else, a part of me is always secretly suspicious," she said.

Alice wrapped her arms around herself and I felt the need to comfort her. The look on her face was so dejected and so ashamed. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder but she only dropped her head lower.

"Jasper told me about Maria, Alice," I began. "Yes, he had feelings for her but I think it was the automatic attachment that vampires instantly have for their sires. Coming into a his new life, Maria was the closest and only relation he had. What they had was a relationship built on desperation and loneliness. Then as he was inserted in the wars, they shared a lust for power and dominance. That wasn't real, Alice. What he has with you is. From what he told me, I know that Jasper is a completely different person from who he was at that time. What he lusted after and yearned for then, is no longer. You have no need to worry about her or any other woman," I told her.

Alice nodded her head and glanced up at me with a shy smile. Her eyes were glassy and I knew that if she had been able to she would have been crying at that moment.

"I know," she nodded. "I'm such a silly girl."

"You're not," I assured her. "We all get a little territorial when it comes to our mates."

"I'm so sorry, Bella," she sighed.

"Forget it, Alice. Let's just start over, okay," I suggested.

She smiled up at me and nodded her head eagerly. She wrapped her tiny arms around me and gave me a tight squeeze.

"Thank you, Bella," she said.

"No problem," I replied hugging her back.

Making up with Alice made me feel really good, lighter for some reason. I guess getting along with her was kind of important to me even if I didn't want to acknowledge it. Edward adored her and I wanted us to be able to at least be civil to one another for his sake. Another part of me wanted us to get along for Jasper as well. I wanted to be his friend without him having to feel like he was consorting with his wife's enemy or something. Talking with Alice made me see that underneath all her bratty behavior she was actually a nice person. I could really see us being close one day, maybe not tomorrow but someday.

Alice headed back to the house, but I stayed in the woods. I wanted to give hunting another shot. My eyes were still flaming red and I just wanted them to go back to gold. I knew that, that would not happen for a long time but I had to put forth a valid effort to get myself to that point again as quickly as possible.

I was not looking forward to taking down the awful taste of animal blood though. So instead of running to track my prey, I casually strolled though the trees. Meandering along aimlessly, more than I was hunting. After a while though, I came a across a very familiar scent that made me stop in my tracks.

Tanya.

She had not been around all day and I sort of missed her. Her presence was so scarce lately and I was sort of worried about her. She never gave any details about where she was all the time and whenever she was with us she seemed to be itching to get away again. I found myself following her scent and before I knew it I was running, hoping just to see her or maybe even spend a little time with my newly elusive sister.

I'd been running for about three minutes when a fierce growl coupled with a nauseating stench assaulted me. I halted and checked my surroundings to see what the hell was causing it. It didn't take me long to spot it. About ten yards away was a small house and approaching it rapidly was the hugest wolf I'd ever seen. The beast was slightly larger than a full grown horse and it's razor sharp teeth were bared. I couldn't believe my eyes. Wolves just did not get that big. I stood frozen in fear as I watched the ferocious animal charge toward the house.

Were there people inside? Was the wolf planning to attack them? I could hear a heart beat and I could still smell Tanya's scent strong in the air and coming from that direction. Was it possible that she was inside that house?

Images of Phil being torn apart filled my head just as Tanya appeared in a back window of the house. Her eyes landed on the beast and fear took over her face as it made it's way toward her. Before I had even made a conscious decision, my body moved into action. An involuntary growl of my own ripped through my chest and the mutant wolf spun around at the sound. It caught sight of me and crouched low preparing to launch itself at me. The fear had left me entirely and was replaced with a blind fury I'd never felt before.

Edward's words replayed in my head. I was stronger now, virtually indestructible. That wolf should be afraid of me! I didn't know what had happened to make this wolf grow to the size it had but I knew that I could take it. It had been heading for my sister who had protected me when I was on the brink of death and now it was my turn to return the favor. I'd be damned if I'd let another wolf rob me of a loved one.

My eyes locked with those of the wolf and simultaneously we sprang.


	32. Chapter 32

_**SM owns.**_

_**Thanks Mommakat!**_

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_**BPOV**_

The wolf's body was heavier than I expected but I was still stronger. We collided and I was able to get him on his back. He didn't stay that way though. He used his hind legs to kick me off of him and in the same instant right himself. I hit a tree..._hard_. It crashed to the ground but I stayed on my feet. I immediately realized that this was no ordinary wolf. It was huge, fast, agile, and strong. As much as I didn't want to admit it, that kick had hurt. I should have been scared but I wasn't. I knew that I could beat this monster of an animal.

The wolf launched himself at me and while he was fast I was, of course, faster. I dodged his head on attack and came at him from the side. I wanted to come at him from behind like Jasper always did in my training but attacking an overgrown dog from behind would only get me a face full of tail.

He bucked and growled viciously as I wrapped my arms around as much of him as I could. I wanted to be able to crush his spine in a bear hug but all his moving was making it difficult. Suddenly his massive head whipped around and his razor sharp teeth had latched onto my side and actually broken skin. I screamed in both pain and shock as it tossed me aside like a rag doll. My body bounced and skidded across the ground and luckily by the time I regained my bearings and righted myself my side has already healed. My fury reached all new highs and I decided there would be no more playing around with this thing.

Before I could get back over to it, I saw that Tanya had come out of the house and was now going toe to paw with the beast. I was beside her in a flash and pushed her away.

"STAY BACK!" I roared. "THIS ONE'S MINE!"

Tanya whimpered from somewhere behind me before she moved up as if to disregard what I'd said but a scream from inside the house made her disappear. I didn't have time to worry about what the hell that meant. I had a wolf to kill. I locked eyes with the animal as we both charged for each other. I prepared my body to launch but he leapt first so I changed my plan of attack at the last second. I stayed on the ground and when he was high enough in the air I ran beneath him, jumped up, and clutched his hind leg in my fist.

I smiled at the satisfying crunch of his bones. He growled in pain and I yanked him down to the ground on his back and brought my foot straight down on his under belly. I was rewarded with the sound of more broken bones. He writhed and rolled over back on his legs. He was holding his body awkwardly because of his injuries but still lunged forward in an attempt to bite me. He was basically done for so all it took was a swipe of my nails across his muzzle and a swift upper cut to bring him down.

He fell with a loud thud. He wasn't dead but I was sure he would be soon. I left him and entered the house where I'd seen Tanya. I found her in a bedroom leaning over a man who was obviously in some type of pain. He was convulsing, sweating, and clenching his jaw so hard trying to quiet his cries that I feared his teeth might shatter.

I opened my mouth to ask Tanya what was wrong with him but closed it immediately when my eyes fell on his neck, wrists, and ankles.

She'd bitten him.

She was going to change him.

"Tanya!" I exclaimed. "What the hell!"

She stood and spun around to face me. Her eyes kept flitting back and forth between me and the man. She was clasping his hand and caressing his knuckles with her thumb.

"He's my mate, Bella. It's the only way that I could keep him!" she said, her voice trembling horribly. "But it's been five days and he's still burning! I don't know what I did wrong, Bella! Tell me what I did wrong!" she sobbed hysterically.

It was a good thing my brain was able to process things at lightening speed because otherwise I would have been too shocked to be of any help. I quickly moved around to her and wrapped my arms around her neck and kissed her temple.

"Don't worry, sis. I'm here," I said trying to calm her first. I waited until she'd stopped crying before I let her go. "Do you know if he's progressed at all?" I asked.

"Yes, I mean I can clearly smell the venom in him. He hasn't paled but I don't think that he will much. His features have sharpened but his heart is still beating and his eyes haven't changed at all," she told me.

I moved over to the other side of the bed and looked him over. I really didn't know what to do though. I've never changed anyone and I'd only been a vampire for a short time myself. I was about to suggest that we call Jasper, Carlisle, or Irina and Kate when Tanya's mate grabbed my hand. I stared in complete awe and disbelief as he smiled at me despite the pain I knew he was experiencing.

"So...I...I...fin...ally get...to...m...meet...the in...famous...Bella," he sputtered and gasped.

I gaped at him incredulously for about thirty seconds before finally finding my voice again.

"Indeed," I smiled bemusedly. "I am the infamous Bella. I'm afraid my sister hasn't told me much about you at all though."

"I'm...J...John. Th...The...new guy," he said. "Tanya's... freaking... out...ri...right now...but...you have't...to keep calm...for me," he said.

I nodded my head not knowing what else to do. I couldn't believe that this man was lying here having an actual conversation with me. When I was changing, all I could muster was a scream and few 'please kill me's' every now and then.

"I figured...my...change...wouldn't...go as...planned. I'm... sure...every...thing...will be...fine though," he told me. "Did...you...kill...the wolf?" he asked his eyes clouding with fear and understandably so. I knew that if I could sleep I'd be having nightmares about it for the next few months.

"He wasn't dead when I left him but I'm sure he'll be soon," I replied.

"Actually, he's gone," Tanya said looking out the window.

"What!" I snarled and went to look for myself. Indeed the wolf was no longer outside. Maybe he'd slouched off to find a bush or something to die behind. What the hell kind of wolf was that anyway?

"Tanya!" John croaked. She was back at his side in a flash rubbing and kissing his face.

"I don't know what to, baby," she whimpered. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't...worry. We don't have...much...t...time. That... wolf... is... going... to...come... back...with...oth...others. You...have...to...move...me! And.. fast!"

"Wait. What? How do you know?" I asked in confusion.

"I'll... ex...plain...later! We...have...to hurry!"

Tanya lifted him off the bed immediately and started making her way to the door with me on her heels.

"I don't know where to go!" she exclaimed.

"To the Cullen's! There's no where else! Plus Carlisle may know how to help him!" I said.

"No!" John interjected. "We shouldn't...go...there...until...I'm completely... changed!"

"This is crazy!" I said. "Where else are we supposed to take you?"

Luckily John knew of an abandoned house about three miles away. We took him there and laid him on an old ratty couch the previous owners must have left behind. Tanya knelt by his head and I paced the floor not knowing what the hell to make of this situation. I guess it was obvious now where Tanya spent all of her time when she wasn't at the Cullen's. Don't get me wrong I'm thrilled that she'd found her mate but why the hell had she hidden him from us? If I hadn't found them today, would she have ever told us? There were so many questions I wanted to ask but decided that they would be best left for later.

I went over to the couch where John was lying. He would make for a very striking vampire with his russet skin and it was obvious that he was extremely handsome even before he started the changing process. He looked a lot older than Tanya, maybe in his late twenties or early thirties. He was very tall and well built. He had clearly been eating his spinach.

I glanced at Tanya and the concern and fear on her face was heartbreaking. It was clear that she loved him very much. I wished that I could do something to help figure out what was taking him so long. The three days I'd suffered had been agonizing, I didn't even want to think about how I would have been affected after an added two days. I glanced over John's body as if the problem and solution was somewhere on his person. Of course, it was not. I opened my mouth to ask her how exactly she had gone about biting him but then the sound of his heart accelerating filled my ears. John's body convulsed and his eyes bulged. I knew that the pain was worse now and all concentrating in his heart but that was sort of a good thing. He would be a vampire very shortly.

I watched as his dark eyes began to fade red and Tanya cooed words of encouragement and comfort into his ears. An hour later, his body quaked one last time before his heart stopped and he stilled completely. I backed away slowly giving him and Tanya some space. His breathing was very slow and measured. He opened his eyes slowly and they widened in what I guessed was surprise as he saw with his new quality of sight for the first time. His eyes flew to Tanya's face and she smiled lovingly down at him. He responded by attacking her mouth with his in a desperately fierce kiss.

I took that as my cue to go ahead and explore the rest of the abandoned house.

_**TPOV**_

I knew that it was very disturbing that the silence after John's heart stopping turned out to be the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. I didn't care though. John had been suffering through the pain of changing for an additional two days and I just wanted it to be over for him. He took it like a rockstar but still I was going insane with worry and guilt. I'd never known a change to last that long and I couldn't help but think that I'd done something wrong.

I breathed a small sigh of relief when John finally opened his eyes. I stayed still though, letting him get used to his new senses. It didn't take him long at all though because before I knew it his lips were on mine. He climbed off the couch simultaneously pushing me back on the floor so that he could get on top of me.

"Not cold anymore. We're the same. So soft now. Better than I imagined. So much better," John said between frenzied kisses against my lips. All my previous worry and guilt was replaced with elation at hearing his excitement and happiness with the outcome.

John pinned my hands above my head with one hand and went up my skirt to rip away my panties with the other. A trill of anticipation shot through me as I wondered how much our sex life would be improved now that I didn't have to hold back and he was exceedingly faster and stronger. All my excitement had to be pushed aside though. John wasn't used to his new strength and his hand around my wrists was starting to get very painful.

"John, baby, we can't," I said not even attempting to free myself from his strong hold. He pulled back to look at me. His crimson eyes were filled with confusion, hurt, and anger. I instantly realized that he had not turned out like Bella. He was going to be the typical newborn. "We talked about this before, remember? You have to feed first, okay? We'll go hunt right now and then after we can have sex for the next seven years if that's what you want," I said keeping my voice light and soothing.

He looked down at my exposed pussy, that was already wet for him, longingly and then back up at my eyes. "But...," he began but I cut him off.

"Hunting first," I repeated a tad more sternly.

He was off me immediately and I stood up as well smoothing down my skirt. I could tell that he was angry that I had denied him but then I think he forgot me entirely as his eyes flitted all around taking in the room. I watched the different emotions take over his face, intrigue, disgust, wonder, awe, and confusion and that was all in less than half a minute. John was going to need a lot more controlling and guidance than Bella had when she was changed.

I tried to stay calm as my mistakes dawned on me. I should not have changed him without anyone else knowing. I was going to need some help with him. Luckily I had Bella here but I felt bad enlisting her help with him when I hadn't even told her about him and she just contended with that freaky wolf all by herself. It was also a bad idea bringing John to this house. It was abandoned but I could hear the heart beats of at least five neighbors. We should have taken him to another location where there were no humans around. I cursed myself for my stupidity and tried to think of a way to get him out of the house and prevent him from draining everyone on the block.

"Bella," I called placing my hand on John's cheek bringing his attention back to me and hoping that the feel of my hand on his skin would keep him distracted and docile for a few moments.

My sister appeared at my side before I'd even finished saying her name. I hoped that her speed would be of some help here because we would sure need it. Technically she was still a newborn herself and her residual strength would definitely be a big help here too.

John's eyes snapped opened when he caught Bella's scent. He pulled me behind him as he glared and growled at her. Bella took a big step back raising her hands in surrender.

"Shhh," I cooed rubbing my hand down his spine which seemed to do wonders to calm him. "That's my sister Bella, John. You just met her remember? She doesn't want to hurt us. She's here to help," I said kissing the back of his neck.

John relaxed entirely as Bella smiled at him. "Sorry," he grumbled.

"No worries," she replied. She had taken on a cooing tone as well and I was glad that the situation was clear to her.

"Bella, we need to get John away from here _safely_ so that he can hunt," I said pointedly. She nodded her head and took a cautious step forward. John wasn't paying her any attention anymore though. He was back to looking around the room.

"John you should stop breathing now. It's best that we get you out into the woods where you can focus on the animals," Bella said.

"Stop breathing?" he exclaimed incredulously. "No way! Everything smells so different. So much clearer. I break down the smells in my head and taste them on my tongue! It's amazing. I want to smell everything!" he said manically.

He took a deep breath and I felt his body stiffen under my hands. A growl ripped through him startling both me and Bella. I knew that he'd taken notice of the neighbors. I couldn't let him harm them. He'd feel so terrible later. I didn't want to hurt him either but it was the only way that I would be able to stop him.

I used all my strength to kick the back of John's knee and made him buckle and fall to the ground. I pulled him down to the ground so that he was flat on his back and straddled his belly. I placed my knees on the insides of his elbows so that he would not be able to move his arms. He thrashed and struggled like a wild animal beneath me but I kept on him.

"We'll get you in the woods soon, baby. I promise. Just hold on," I crooned holding his face in my hands.

He probably didn't hear a word I said but I had to try and calm him. Bella took hold of his ankles and began dragging him toward the back of the house with me still on top. I was pretty sure the scene would look comical to an outsider but this was probably the only way to stop him from massacring the community. Bella dragged us out the back door across the yard and into a thin strip of woods that was behind the house spanning the length of the block.

"There's another neighborhood on the other side, Tanya. There's no way I can keep pulling you guys without someone noticing. These tree don't provide us with much cover," Bella exclaimed.

"Please stop breathing, John," I begged looking into his eyes. "We both know you'll be devastated if you murder someone. I know your throat burns but the blood of animals will help you. If you stop breathing I'll let you up and then we can run somewhere to hunt. If you cooperate I can have you fed in less than five minutes," I told him.

He glared at me for a few more seconds before nodding his head, "Fine."

"Stop breathing."

His did as he was told and I slowly got off him. The second he was free he took off back toward the houses. He moved fast but no one was faster than, B. She had him tackled down to the ground before he'd even gotten two feet away.

"Listen dammit!" Bella growled at him as he tried to wriggle from under her. She wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled his head backward. "I will take your head off right fucking now if you don't get your shit together! You're in pain! We get it! We're trying to help you and you're acting like an ass! You're just prolonging your own suffering. Now you have a choice! You can follow us and be fed or you can keep trying to escape and I can keep kicking your ass! What's it gonna be, John?"

Five minutes later Bella and I were sitting on the ground watching John feed on a herd of elk. He had tried to escape us again but after Bella clothes lined him he finally gave up.

"I can't believe you got him under control easier than I could," I chuckled in disbelief.

"You were still trying to baby him. I learned from Jasper that when newborns lose control they need to be tended to with an iron fist," Bella shrugged. "I can't believe you didn't tell us about him."

I sighed knowing that this conversation was going to happen sooner or later. I would have preferred later but obviously Bella did not.

"I know and I'm sorry," I replied. "I was being petty and childish."

She turned her head to look at me with knitted brows. "What do you mean?"

I took a minute to try and organize my thoughts and explain why I'd kept John a secret all this time. I didn't know how Bella would take it and I didn't want her to be upset with me.

"I know it's not the same and that you didn't even know Edward was your mate for a long time but I was just pissed that you thought you couldn't talk to me about how you were feeling. I know that you only wanted to protect me and that you suffered a lot to do so. Part of me was still angry though and it just made me feel better to hide something from you like you hid something from me," I told her. "I know it was idiotic, petty, and childish like I said before but it helped me not to be so bitter about you having Edward. I didn't do it necessarily to hurt you. I just wanted to make myself feel better," I explained.

Bella nodded her head but I didn't know if it was in understanding or just to let me know that she was listening. I glanced at John to see that he had finished off the herd.

"More?" I asked him.

He smiled sheepishly and nodded his head. Bella and I got up and ran with him until he came across a moose and a possum. We both grimaced as we watched him drain the marsupial first.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess," Bella said. I nodded my head and then turned to face her again.

"I'm really sorry," I murmured.

"You don't have to apologize. I get what you did but that just lets me know that you were keeping things from me before John. It's apparent that you were a lot angrier than you let on. I expected you to be pissed. You didn't have to pretend to be alright about everything," she said.

"I just didn't want us to get into some huge blow up about something that was out of our control. No one has a choice in mating and I know that. You weren't trying to hurt me, Edward wasn't trying to hurt me. It was a sucky situation but there was no blame to place on anyone," I replied.

"I know that you loved him though. People aren't always rational when it comes to love. I wouldn't have been hurt if you wanted to scream and wring my neck," Bella chuckled sarcastically.

I sighed and shook my head. I glanced over at John and saw that he'd finished off both the possum and moose and was just meandering around. I figured he was trying to give us a little privacy to talk. I snorted a little laugh as he peered intently at the bark of a tree probably amazed at how much detail he could see now. His face was so close up on the trunk that his nose was almost smashed against it. Newborns are fucking hilarious.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking about Edward and myself, the relationship that we had, and what it was really about. Now I have John and I know what real love feels like. It's infinitely more than what I felt for Edward. I've actually come to realize that he was just a game, an obsession," I told her. "I've never had a man resist me. _Never_. So when Edward came along, I thought I could just bat my lashes and have him in the palm of my hand.

"That wasn't how it worked with him though. I had to actually chase him and I couldn't believe it. It was refreshing and exciting. At first he brushed me off completely and then one day he kissed me and I thought I'd won him. Two days later though he began to ignore me and it was like the game had started all over again. At the time he was the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen and since he was so wishy-washy with me I never got bored with him like I did with human men who immediately dropped to their knees for me. He was something new and thrilling. I just got confused with being in love with the chase and being in love with the man."

Bella exhaled in relief and I could actually see the stress leave her body. "That makes me feel so much better," she smiled at me.

"I'm glad," I said returning her smile. "Now we can finally be happy again. Go back to the way things were!"

I threw my arms around Bella feeling lighter myself. She laughed and hugged me back.

"Well I don't think things will be exactly how they were before. No more partying all night and seducing hot guys," she said. "We've got mates now."

"Oh, please!" I exclaimed pulling back slightly to look at her face. "Hell yeah we'll be partying and seducing hot guys. It'll just be the same hot guy every night," I said. "We'll leave the bed hopping to Irina and Kate."

"And I'm sure they'll be happy for less competition," Bella added.

"Of course," I rolled my eyes. "Now let's get back to the Cullen's place."

I looped my arm through Bella's and started walking over to my mate who was now inspecting his own hand in a ray of sunlight that had broken through the clouds.

"We'd better hurry, too. We've been gone for a while and I'm sure Edward is considering calling the FBI to track me down," Bella said.

"You're in dire need of a shower as well. You smell like that freaky mutant wolf," I said wrinkling my nose at her. "What the hell was up with that thing anyway, John?" I asked as we finally reached him.

He averted his eyes and fidgeted nervously in response to my question.

"What is it?" Bella asked picking up on his unease too.

"I think it'll be best to explain this to everyone at one time. We should hurry like Bella said. I don't know how much time we have before the whole pack comes."

Bella and I exchanged glances and I could tell that she was starting to get on edge. I looked back at John and wondered what the hell he knew. Something told me I was about to be very upset with him.


	33. Chapter 33

_**SM owns. **_

_**Thanks Mommakat!**_

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_**BPOV**_

I didn't even bother talking to John. He was somewhere in La La Land as we ran. He was just thrilled that he could move so fast and be agile. He was jumping on trees, running backward, turning all kinds of flips and doing random karate moves. I knew that he could hear me though and I hoped that would be enough.

"When we get back to the house, don't say anything about the wolf. Let me explain that part to Edward first," I said.

"Okay," Tanya agreed. "We should just tell the story in order of how it happened today. You start about the wolf, I'll explain John, and then he'll explain all the rest," she said glancing at her mate who had apparently been turned not into a vampire but a ten year old. I scoffed at the dreamy expression on Tanya's face as she watched John act like a big kid and just shook my head. She was a goner.

The big white Cullen house came into view and the second my foot hit the front steps Edward came bursting through the front door with an expression of both relief and fury on his face. He grabbed me by my arms and looked into my eyes before hugging me to his chest.

"Where the hell were you! I called you seventy-five times! I'm not even exaggerating! I actually called you SEVENTY-FIVE TIMES! Are you allergic to the cell phone? Is that what the problem is? I tried to find you and I had a straight trail until your scent completely disappeared and all I could smell was some grotesque stench that is actually all over you right now! I knew that something was wrong! I had that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and I was freaking out!" Edward ranted.

His lips were suddenly on mine, kissing me hungrily. I kissed him back hoping that would settle him before I had to go into my story. I brought my hand to the back of his neck and slid it upward until my fingertips were in his hair. I massaged the base of his skull until his kisses slowed down to something deep and loving. I melted into him as my knees grew weak and he tightened his hold on me to keep me upright and against him. When he finally broke the kiss, he dropped his forehead to rest on mine.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" he asked.

I bit my lip and hoped that he wouldn't lose his shit again when I told him. "I think I left it in Atlin," I whispered.

A growl rumbled in Edward's chest as he squeezed his eyes shut. I massaged his skull again and kissed his lips sweetly

"I'm sorry, baby. But we've been together almost constantly since coming to Forks and there wasn't really a need for it," I explained.

"There's always a need for one. What if there was an emergency like today? You were in trouble, I know it, and you couldn't even call me. I couldn't reach you and even if I couldn't track your scent I would have been able to track your cell," he replied.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

He sighed and hugged me close again. "What the hell happened and who the fuck is that?" he asked looking over my shoulder at John.

"Let's go inside," I told him and he instantly tensed. He looked me in the eye, then his gaze settled on Tanya and John holding hands. He nodded his head in the direction of the house before leading us all inside. The families were already convened in the dining room and ready for discussion. I glanced around, my eyes resting on Jasper as he looked at me with knitted brows before frowning deeply.

"Darlin' you know I love you, but you smell pretty awful," he said.

"Oh Fuck! I thought I was the only one," Rose exclaimed.

"Maybe you should shower," Irina suggests. "Like...right now."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. I ran up to Edward's room and showered quickly. I could hear everyone down stairs questioning Tanya but she refused to answer anything until I got back downstairs. I knew that she wanted to stick with my plan about letting me start and explain things first. I dressed simply in jeans and a shirt and went back down to the dining room. I sat in the empty seat beside Edward and he immediately took my hand in his.

"Okay what's going on," Carlisle asked from the head of the table.

Suddenly, I was nervous. Everyone's eyes were on me and I could just feel that this was all going to be a much bigger deal than what I'd previously expected. I blanketed Tanya and John with my shield just in case either of them slipped and thought about something before it was time. Tanya I wasn't so worried about but John was a rookie. I didn't even know if he knew that Edward could read his thoughts.

"Well I was in the woods about to hunt...but I've been having some... difficulty with that lately. I ended up just wandering around for a while and then I came across Tanya's scent. I followed it and I ended up at this house, but across from me also approaching the house was this huge, mutant, monster, beast of a wolf. It was the size of a horse at least and it was so fast and...," I began but then I got cut off as some of the Cullens started to freak out.

"Oh my God!" Esme breathed with a look of pure fear on her face.

"It's not possible!" Rosalie exclaimed.

Carlisle got up from the table and ran to the living room where he pressed a series of buttons on a keypad. I gasped in shock as steel panes covered every window in the house including the glass wall. Edward grabbed my face and turned it so that I was looking him in the eye.

"Show me," he breathed his voice strained with fear, anger, and disbelief.

I was so confused I didn't know what else to do but what he said. I removed my shield and replayed the incident with the wolf. When I was done, Edward wrapped his arms around me and stroked the back of my head.

"God, Bella. You could have been killed," he whispered.

"Is it them?" Carlisle asked.

Edward simply nodded his head. Esme let out a choked sob as Rosalie rounded on John.

"You are Quileute then, right? Do you know the legends of your tribe?" she seethed looking as if she was seconds away from ripping his head off.

Both John and Tanya got on the defensive. John was ready to attack Rosalie but Tanya held him back as Emmett jumped up and pulled his wife behind him as he glared at John.

A strong surge of calm filled the room and everyone visibly relaxed as Jasper stood up from the table.

"Everyone please sit down," he said calm but sternly. Everyone reluctantly did as he said and Jasper turned his gaze toward Carlisle. "What is going on?" he asked.

"Do you remember the treaty I told you we made about 70 years ago the first time we lived in Forks," Carlisle asked.

I saw recognition light up the remaining Cullens' eyes. My sisters and I were still the only clueless ones left in the room.

"Treaty?" Kate asked.

"70 years ago we came to live in Forks. While hunting one day we came across some members of the Quileute tribe. They knew what we were and demanded that we leave the area at once. We assured them that we were not a danger to humans and informed them of our lifestyle. We signed a treaty with them promising to never bite or kill any humans and to never go onto their land. In exchange they would not reveal what we are or come onto our land either. If either side breaks the treaty the wronged party reserves the right to declare war," Carlisle explained.

"And this man is a Quileute," Kate asked gesturing to John.

"Yes I am," he answered.

"And you were bitten by Bella?" Kate asked glancing at me.

"No. Tanya, my mate, bit me at my request," John replied grabbing Tanya's hand.

"Unfortunately the treaty says nothing about what the victims choice was," Rosalie spat.

"I know that," John whispered.

"Wait!" Tanya exclaimed turning in her seat so that she was facing him more. "You knew about this whole treaty thing and you didn't tell me!" she asked.

"I knew that you wouldn't agree to change me if I did! Tanya this is the only way that we could be together. Please don't be angry with me," he replied.

Tanya opened her mouth to speak but Irina cut her off, "Did he say you are his mate?"

"Yes," Tanya replied flashing Irina a quick smile before turning back to John. "We could have figured something else out! We could have left together and then I could have bitten you. Your tribe would have never known about any of this if I bit you in Russia!"

"I'm sorry," John responded dropping his head in shame. "I didn't think of that. I was just...," he began but Tanya held up her hand to silence him.

"Save it!" she hissed angrily. "Tell us about the wolf? How does that work into all of this?"

John took an unnecessary breath before speaking. "Certain members of our tribe are able to shape shift into wolves. It's a trait passed down to descendants of the first of our ancestors who joined their souls with the wolves. Our tribe had a run in with vampires centuries ago and the shape shifters were able to destroy the vampires. The wolves now serve as protectors of the tribe from any threat posed by vampires," he said.

"But if he knows this then the Quileutes broke the treaty first. Only the descendants should know about us! They wronged us first! The war is ours to declare!" Rosalie exclaimed a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

"But I am a descendant," John countered causing her to sneer at him.

"Oh are you, now? Because our venom kills the wolves. You can't possibly be a descendant and also a vampire," Rosalie challenged him smugly.

"Actually you can," John sneered right back at her. "All descendants carry the trait of the wolf in order to pass it down through each generation. Only the presence of vampires can activate the trait in members of the tribe between fifteen and twenty years old allowing them to actually gain the supernatural effect and phase into the wolf.

"Other descendants who are older or younger have the trait but it can't be activated because they are not of age yet or have passed the age. Being that I am thirty-two I am passed the age of being able to phase. I have the trait still which is the reason why my transformation took so long but I was essentially human and the vampire venom is not a lethal poison for me like it is for those who can phase," John explained.

"You selfish bastard! I hope you know that you've caused Tanya more harm than good! They are going to come after her, not us! The wolves have free reign on any vampire that is not a Cullen. A Cullen did not bite you therefore we are perfectly safe! I hope you enjoy what little time you have left because your own tribe will be here to destr...," Rosalie ranted but was cut off by Carlisle slamming his hand on the table.

"Be quiet Rosalie!" he said sharply. He was only speaking to her but the entire room completely froze. Carlisle had that kind of pull. "It is our job to inform our guests of the rules here and we failed to do that with the Denali's. I assumed since they already abstained from human blood and we had not seen hide nor hair of the wolves since we returned that we would not need to warn them to uphold the treaty.

"There is more than one party at fault here and if the wolves come for Tanya then we will support her. She _is _family and as her mate so is John! This is a serious situation in which we all need to stand together. So you make your decision right now. Are you with us or against us?"

All eyes fell on Rosalie who sat fuming in her seat with her jaw clenched tight, "With you, of course," she said through gritted teeth.

"Good," Carlisle nodded once and then turned to John. "Do you know who the current Alpha is?"

"Yes my nephew, Sam Uley," John answered.

"Do you think you'll be able to call him, convince him that the people of Forks and La Push are still safe and there is no need for a war?" Carlisle asked him.

"I could try."

Carlisle passed John a cell phone so that he could call Sam. John took the phone and immediately crushed it to bits in his grasp. Tanya sighed and pulled out her own phone.

"I'm so sorry Carlisle. His transformation was only just completed today. He doesn't know his own strength yet," she said.

"I understand. It's no problem at all," Carlisle replied.

John told Tanya Sam's phone number and she called him right away only to be sent straight to voicemail

"Keep trying to call," Carlisle said. "In the mean time, everyone stays indoors. If there is a need to hunt we leave in groups of six. John how big is the pack?"

"Ten wolves."

"Oh God," I exclaimed imaging having to fight ten of those huge fuckers.

"Don't worry, baby," Edward murmured in my ear. "You're still stronger than them. You kicked ass today."

I smiled and kissed him on the lips to thank him for the boost in confidence and reassurance.

"Carlisle we should maybe start kicking around some strategies. It's no guarantee that these wolves will be peaceable," Jasper said. Carlisle nodded in agreement and beckoned Jasper to follow him to his study.

Everyone dispersed after Carlisle and Jasper. Tanya and John stayed at the table to keep trying Sam and Edward and I went up to his bedroom. He closed the door behind us and gently pushed me against it. He planted himself directly in front of me leaving no space between us. I looked up into his eyes to find them burning with longing and need. He bent his head to my neck and began kissing and licking me in a way that instantly made me wet for him.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was," he breathed against my skin sending shivers down my spine.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"You should be," Edward replied huskily and swiftly ripped away my t-shirt making me gasp in surprise. "How are you going to make it up to me, Bella?"

"Should we really be doing this?" I asked as I fumbled with his belt buckle. "Aren't we on like red alert or something?"

"I don't care," Edward said as his hand slid down into my jeans and his fingers began massaging me through my panties. I stifled a moan by biting down on my bottom lip. "Do you?" he asked.

I was about to respond when Edward's body suddenly stiffened. He pulled away from me abruptly and I almost whimpered at the loss of contact. I looked into his eyes and saw shock gracing his features.

"Edward what is it?" I asked worriedly.

"The pack is coming...and fast."


	34. Chapter 34

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_**Thanks Mommakat!**_

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_**EPOV**_

I tossed Bella a shirt to replace the one I'd just ripped off her. She hurriedly put it on and we raced down to the living where the rest of the family were. They'd all heard what I'd said about the wolves coming.

"How far away are they Edward," Carlisle asked.

"A little over two miles," I replied before turning to Bella who was looking up at me with scared eyes. I knew that after all she had experienced with wolves this situation was probably torturing her. I pulled her into me and her arms locked me in a bone crushing embrace.

"I don't want to lose you!" she exclaimed. "You have to be careful. I couldn't bear to see you hurt."

I knit my brows and pulled back a little to see her face. "You're worried about me?" I asked incredulously.

"Of course! Those things are ferocious! If Jasper hadn't taught me how to defend myself, I'm sure it would have killed me. Promise me you'll be careful," she replied fisting her hand in my hair.

"You know I will," I said kissing her lips briefly. "I just wish that you didn't have to go through this. I don't…," I began but she cut me off.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine," she told me. "We'll be okay, right? Then we'll go to Russia and everything will be perfect like it's supposed to be?"

I nodded my head. I would do everything in my power to make that happen. I'd waited over a century to find Bella and I was not about to be separated from her because of some fucking mutts. I hugged her one last time murmuring my devotion and love in her ear before turning toward the door. They would reach the house in less than a minute.

I concentrated on their thoughts and was amazed at how their minds seemed to all be connected allowing them to communicate with one another telepathically. It was a little disconcerting trying to listen to them all and distinguish between their conversations and private thoughts.

I could recognize the voice of the alpha easily enough. When he spoke all the other minds quieted to listen and obey. When they were a few yards away from the house, the alpha decided to phase back into his human form in order to speak to us, but mainly just John. I could tell that Sam was pissed but his anger was derived from his hurt, betrayal, and abandonment. Sam had never known his father and John no matter far away he lived, had always been there for him. John's becoming a vampire put an end to any and all ties or bond they had.

The minds of the rest of the pack were worried that Sam phasing back was not safe at all but none spoke up to actually object. They knew that his word was law and that there was really no use in changing his mind on something he was so determined to do. Being that they shared a mind, they knew exactly why he wanted to phase and respected that as well.

"He's upset with you, very upset. He's furious but only because he's hurt and feels as though you have betrayed and abandoned him," I whispered to John.

He nodded and from his thoughts I could tell that he was not surprised and felt terribly guilty. Jasper sent him and everyone else a wave of calm before Carlisle opened the front door and stepped out on the porch with the rest of us following behind.

I almost chuckled at the shocked minds of my family as they took in the sight of the enormous wolves on the other side of our lawn. They were all growling and ready to pounce instantly should Sam give the word. They were just salivating for a fight. Sam stepped forward wearing nothing but cut off shorts and was glaring at his uncle with a fury that was threatening to melt his face. His fists clenched and unclenched as his body shook on the verge of phasing. His eyes were focused on John and it seemed as if he didn't even realize there were other people around him.

"Why?" Sam growled through gritted teeth.

John stepped forward but kept an extremely wide berth between he and Sam.

"She's my mate, Sam. She's to me what Emily is to you. I knew from the very first time I saw her that I couldn't live without her. I made this decision to make our relationship easier," John answered but Sam was already shaking his head before John had finished speaking.

"That is not an excuse! You think things are easy for Emily and I? They aren't but we deal with them because our love is enough to carry us through any challenge!"

"You say that because there is no way to make it easier! There was a way for Tanya and I so we took it! You cannot blame me for that."

Sam's eyes slowly traveled to Tanya, who met his glare with her head held high and unperturbed. From her thoughts I found out that she sympathized with Sam but was not afraid of him. She was sorry that Sam felt as though he'd lost his uncle but was not sorry that she had made a move that allowed her to spend forever with her mate.

"I don't blame you, John. I blame her. She broke the treaty and now we have no other choice but to take action against her," Sam said.

John took another step forward causing the line of wolves behind Sam to growl louder in warning. John paid them no attention.

"You do have a choice. Don't do this, Sam. I didn't tell her about the treaty and I told her to change me. She's my whole world. For the first time in my life, I'm truly and unbelievably happy. She's what I've been looking for all this time. Please don't try and take her away from me. I will fight to protect her against _anyone_ who dares harm her," John warned his voice taking on a steely edge.

Sam knew his uncle well because there was no bluff in John's thoughts and Sam knew by the look in John's eyes that he would indeed fight anyone including himself to protect Tanya. Sam let this fact sink in and with a heavy heart accepted it. His resolve wavered. He didn't want to fight John so he stalled by turning his eyes to Carlisle.

"It is not up to my uncle to inform vampires of the treaty. Assuming that they are your guests it was up to you to insure the safety of the humans here," Sam said.

"You are right and I apologize. Since our guests follow our diet and we were not aware that the pack had regenerated, it sort of slipped our minds, if you will," Carlisle replied.

"Your forgetfulness doesn't grant you amnesty. Especially since that one launched an unprovoked attack against my pack," Sam said nodding toward Bella. I instinctively moved to stand in front of her but Bella wasn't to be shielded. She moved around me crossing her arms over her chest, her defiant countenance almost identical to Tanya's.

"I was protecting my sister. I only growled to warn him away, but we attacked at the same time," she told him.

"He was defending our tribe," Sam retorted.

"Your tribe didn't _want_ to be defended," Bella countered causing his form to shake violently. Sam seemed to vibrate and blur around the edges. I pulled Bella back so that she was closer to me. I waited, reading Sam's thoughts as he tried to bring himself back under control but it was a struggle seeing that he was also angry at himself for losing it in the first place.

"I shouldn't be surprised," Sam finally ground out through gritted teeth. "You've never been loyal to your tribe. You turned your back on us long ago, running away as soon as you got the chance. It's only fitting that you would in the end do the one thing that would truly separate yourself from us," Sam said. "The only reason I even stopped to talk was because you're my uncle but I see now that, that was a mistake. You broke the law that I've been forced into something unnatural and beastly to uphold. You had a choice in the path you chose but I didn't. It's clear that you don't give a shit about me or the tribe. I'm not going to give a shit about you either. You'll kill me to protect her, well I'll kill you to protect my people!"

"Don't be so fucking dramatic, Sam!" John growled. "You're letting your anger talk. Of course I care about you. _That's_ why you stopped to talk first! Not just because we're family, but because I love you. I understand that you can't understand why I've chosen this life. I'm sorry that you were forced into being a shifter but I know for a fact that your grateful for it binding you to Emily in a way that makes you feel nothing but bliss when she's around. So don't give that woe is me bullshit because I know better! I also know that if our situations were reversed you would annihilate me even if I made a mistake and bumped into your imprint so don't try to make me out to be the devil because I would do the same for my mate!

"Maybe I did leave La Push but that doesn't mean I don't love my tribe, I just can't be confined to a reservation, especially one that just didn't feel like home. Nowhere felt like home to me, until I found my Tanya. She brings me peace and it just feels so damn good.

I'm begging you not to start this war, Sam. It's senseless. No one was harmed and no one has to be. Fighting will cause so much pain and suffering on both sides and for no reason at all. You say you want to protect our people but fighting won't do that. If you choose to fight, people will die and that will be your fault because you can decide to just walk away and spare everyone. You didn't have a choice in your life, but you have a choice in this. So what will you choose?"

I was proud of John. I didn't know him at all but I was sure that we would get along just fine in the future. He was strong and unashamedly devoted to Tanya. I was happy for my cousin as well. He would take great care of her and keep her happy, of that I had no doubt.

A tense silence ensued as all eyes focused on Sam and waited for his decision. John's words had succeeded in making him seriously reconsider his next move. He knew for certain that at least three of his pack would die should he decide to fight. Seth, Colin, and Brady were very new to the pack, all phasing for the first time in the last week. They still had very little control and as humans were still very young boys, children in fact.

He also knew that there was a great chance he would lose a wolf named Leah as well. She'd been a wolf longer than the three boys but she was constantly so furious. Her blind rage would hinder her in a fight against us because he knew we would all fight fiercely. He'd seen the battle with Bella in the mind of the wolf who'd attacked her named Paul and knew that Paul was very lucky that he'd escaped with his life. Plus after himself and another wolf named Jake, Paul was the best fighter.

There was no way to see sense in leading his pack into possible death when he knew that he didn't have to. The only thing that stopped him from leaving was his pride and his loyalty to his people and the treaty. He was trying very hard to do what was right and not what just seemed easy. His search for the answer was coming up fruitless and he eventually growled in frustration before deciding to turn the tables on his uncle.

"In 24 hours," he said as his eyes focused once again on John. "I'm going to come back here. If you all remain in Washington, we will attack with intent to destroy all of you. If you are gone, this will be pardoned, but you must never return. The choice is now yours."

And before anyone could respond, Sam had phased and ran off with his pack.


	35. Chapter 35

_**SM owns.**_

_**Thanks Mommakat!**_

_**Okay everyone this is the last chapter but there is an epilogue to follow!**___

_**TPOV**_

I laced my fingers with John's trying to keep him calm. Rosalie was going berserk but no one but Emmett was really indulging her. I glanced at Carlisle and saw that he was growing very irritated with her for the second time today. John stayed mostly silent but jittery through her rant because he knew that a lot of the blame was truly on him. He just wanted her to stop yelling. He wasn't used to his new ears and the noise was bothering him. Her hostility wasn't doing much for him either.

"We shouldn't have to leave! You should have told Sam that you were already going to Russia and that this had nothing to do with us!" she yelled.

"Rosie we were going to have to leave this place eventually anyway. So we have to do it a few years earlier, no big deal," Emmett said massaging her shoulders. She wasn't buying it though and shrugged him off of her.

"Not a couple years! We still had a good five here! They didn't say we _had_ to leave anyway. We didn't do anything wrong. They want to wage war then fine, we can take those fucking mutts. There are more of us anyway," Rosalie fumed.

"I'm not going to fight my nephew if I have a choice not to," John said.

I won't be fighting either," I added.

"Nor will I murder a bunch of teenage boys, Rosalie," Edward said. "You good and well know that you won't be doing it either. You're angry and that's understandable but now it's time to calm down and get to work. We've got 23 hours to pack up and be out of here," he continued.

"Even if you did decide to fight them the war would never end. As long as there are children born in La Push there will be wolves and they will have full access to all previous generations of packs' memories. They'll know about the treaty and how you decided to fight and then they will come to attack again," John said.

"You know what I would love?" Rosalie asked. "I would love it if you would just stop fucking speaking to me! This is all your fault and anything you have to add to the conversation will just make things worse!"

John sighed and shrugged his shoulders. Carlisle sighed as well and stood up from the couch.

"What we need to discuss is where we want to go," he said.

"Carlisle!" Rosalie seethed. "Are you seri…," she began but he cut her off.

"Yes I am very serious," he said calmly but there was a definite edge to his voice. "I get that you love it here but now we have to leave. You need to deal with that whatever way you can on your own because I'm not about to waste time listening to you whine. We have thirteen other homes in this country alone. If it makes you happy you can choose where we go next but I'm not going to sit here and watch you behave as a child. There isn't time and frankly it's extremely annoying," he told her.

Rosalie balled her fist and opened her mouth to say something but Esme made a small noise from where she sat on the arm of the chair Carlisle had just vacated. She had his immediate attention and glanced around nervously before settling her gaze on me.

"Well I was thinking maybe we could accompany you all to Russia. I mean Edward is going with Bella and let's be honest none of us are really happy with being separated from Bella or Edward," Esme said uncertainly. "I think it would be really nice for us all to live together for a while," Esme said.

The smile that covered my face threatened to split it in two, "Oh Esme! I think that's a great idea! We'll have to make some minor adjustments but our estate is definitely large enough to accommodate all of us," I exclaimed.

Alice screeched piercingly loud and launched herself across the room to hug Edward who already had Bella on his lap. Alice's impact caused all three of their bodies to collide resulting in a resounding boom loud enough to make the window tremble.

"I'm so happy! This is going to be perfect!" Alice giggled.

"I'm not living with that imbecile," Rosalie glared pointing at John.

"Oh come off it, Rose!" Irina exclaimed exasperatedly. "Why the hell are you so fucking in love with Forks anyway? It rains every damned day! I mean that has to be a hassle with your hair every day. Come to Russia where it's still cloudy but with significantly less rain," Irina said.

"No," Rosalie shook her head. "You all go to Russia. Em and I will head east to Maine. It's time for us to have a little quality time anyway."

"Sounds like a plan," John said with a smile. "How can I help you get there faster? Shall I help you pack?"

"Touch my things and I'll rip off your balls," Rosalie said through gritted teeth.

"Hey! Don't threaten my friends!" I exclaimed only half joking.

Irina, Kate, and Bella giggled as Rose growled and stormed off. Emmett sighed and turned toward the rest of the family rubbing the back of his neck.

"She'll calm down sooner or later," he tried to assure us but didn't sound so convinced himself.

"Please talk to her Emmett," Esme pled. "I'd really love it if we could all go to Russia together. People in love don't always think rationally. All John wanted was to be with Tanya and he did what he had to, to make that happen. You'll help her to understand that won't you," Esme asked.

Emmett smiled down at his adoptive mother and nodded his head before kissing her cheek. "I will," he said before turning and going up the stairs to join his enraged mate.

Carlisle sighed and turned to Alice. "I'm assigning you to clothes. We don't have much time so please only pack what is needed. Jasper, we'll need documents and I'm sure we don't have adequate time to obtain them so would you mind making them yourself?" Carlisle asked.

"No problem at all," Jasper said.

Carlisle finished delegating tasks to the rest of his family and my sisters went to help out wherever it was needed to move the process along.

"Can I help you with the documents Jas?" Bella asked but before he could reply Edward's arm tightened around her waist.

"I wanted you help me pack the books. We can start with the ones in my bedroom," he whispered but not low enough to stop everyone from hearing.

"Catch ya later, Jas," Bella said as she and Edward sprinted up the stairs.

"Edward we don't have time!" Carlisle futilely called after them. He sighed and shook his head. Grumbling to himself as he went to draft his resignation letter for the hospital. John was thirsty again so I accompanied him on his hunt to make sure he behaved. We were clearly already in enough trouble with the wolves. I couldn't risk him draining the town.

_**BPOV**_

I closed the door behind us as Edward and I entered his room. He immediately grabbed my thighs and hoisted me up making me wrap my legs around his waist. I moaned throwing my head back as I felt just how aroused he already was. My hands flew to his hair, clutching the silky strands in my fists. He pressed my back against the door and began lavishing my neck with open mouthed kisses.

"We don't have much time baby," I murmured before bending my head and taking his earlobe into my mouth and biting down. Edward's hips bucked into mine and my panties grew impossibly wetter. I was surely soaking right through my pants.

"I just need to feel you come around me, baby," he said breathlessly into my neck grounding himself into me again making me whimper with need. "And that won't take me long."

I was practically salivating for Edward to make good on his promise. He had me on the bed and on my back in the next instant. We tore away each other's clothes with needy desperation. It had been a hell of a day and I just knew that Edward could and would make it better. I could feel the tension, fear, and anger falling away with every caress of his hands, lick of his tongue, and kiss from his lips. I writhed and moaned beneath him as he worshipped my body but I wanted more and he was quick to give it to me.

Edward thrust inside me slow, deep, and hard making me moan embarrassingly loud as my nails dug into his lower back trying to pull him in even deeper.

"So good," Edward groaned dropping his forehead down to mine. He kissed my lips as he pulled all the way out and came back again. He claimed to not need long to make me come and quickly proved his words true. He set a steadily building pace and I rolled my hips up to meet him thrust for thrust keeping up with increasing speed.

It was only mere minutes before my legs started to quiver and my breathing came in shallow erratic pants.

Edward pushed into me impossibly faster and harder making me cry out as he wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Fuck! Edward yes!" I screamed thrashing under him. I was so close and Edward knew it. His thumb found my bundle of nerves and my body immediately exploded around him. I shouted his name as I came harder than I ever had before.

"Damn Bella!" Edward groaned as my orgasm milked him of his. He clutched my body to his as he spilled into me. His hips continued to rock into me as we rode out our release together. Even after he stilled, my body still quaked and he peppered kisses on my face, neck, and shoulders stroking my thigh with his hand.

"So fucking good…love you so much…no one better…need you forever," Edward murmured against my skin until my body finally calmed.

"I love you too, Edward. So much," I finally said wrapping my arms around his neck before kissing his lips.

_**EPOV**_

I couldn't bring myself to leave Bella's body after the most intense sex we'd ever had. I'd held onto her until Alice threatened to break down the door and pry us away from each other herself. When I eased myself from her, Bella gasped and whimpered making my dick twitch and long to bring her to climax again. It took every last drop of my strength not to do just that. Instead I kissed her one last time before leading her to the shower. We dressed quickly and then worked swiftly to complete the task Carlisle had assigned to me. By the time we had the house all packed and ready to go we had about 10 hours before the wolves returned. Shipping trucks came to pick up our furniture and store it in the house in Atlin while another came to ship our clothes and personal possessions to Russia and Maine.

"Please come with us, Rose," Esme tried one last time knowing that she would be turned down.

"We'll keep in touch okay," Rosalie replied giving Esme a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"…okay," Esme muttered in defeat.

Rose and Emmett said their goodbyes to everyone and we all wished each other a safe journey. They rode off in his jeep to the airport to catch their flight honking the horn as a final farewell. When we could no longer hear them on the road, John cleared his throat to get our attention.

"I just wanted to tell you that I really am sorry for all the trouble I've caused. I knew that Sam would be upset but I thought that if I just talked to him everything would be fine," he said. "I never meant to break up your family…," he continued before being cut off by Esme.

"John you didn't break up our family. Rosalie has always been very temperamental. She struggles with what we are and often takes time away from the family with Emmett. This has happened before and will happen again," she told him. "As for the trouble, we all caused it. If you apologize to us then we should apologize to you. The damage done to your relationship with Sam is far worse than what happened with Rosalie," she said.

John's shoulders dropped as he nodded his head. He had been trying to not think about Sam and the loss he was suffering. He hated the fact that things had turned out this way but he refused to believe that Sam was not capable of forgiving him. He planned to give his nephew some time and then contact him in hopes of a reconciliation.

"Our flight leaves in three hours. We had better start making our way to the airport too," Carlisle said taking Esme's hand.

"I am going to miss this place," Alice said glancing back at the huge white mansion that may never be our home again.

"Me too," I nodded.

Bella wrapped her arms around me and kissed my chest through my shirt. _"I'm sorry," _she lowered her shield to tell me. I kissed the top of head and reciprocated her embrace.

"As long as I'm wherever you are I'll be just fine," I replied. I led her to the Volvo as the rest of my family piled into their cars as well. Bella gave my knee a supportive squeeze as I started the engine. I took her hand off my knee and held it in mine after kissing the inside of her wrist. Carlisle and Esme started the procession followed by Alice and Jasper and then Bella and I as we left our past in Forks and moved toward our future in Russia.


	36. Epilogue

_**SM owns.**_

_**Thanks so much to Mommakat who offered up her spare time edited every chapter of this story for me. Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, and faved me and this story. Even though I couldn't get around to respond to all of you I every single review and I cherished them all. It made me feel wonderful to know that you all enjoy this little story that I wrote. Enjoy...**_

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_**BPOV**_

"What are you wearing," he asked, his voice low and husky.

"Nothing," I whispered.

"Nothing!" he groaned into the phone making me giggle. "Why aren't you dressed!"

"I was about to change into my bikini when you called. We're about to get in the pool," I told him.

"Meet me at the gazebo in Kate's garden," he said. "Stay in what you have on now."

"My birthday suit?"

"You're fast, no one will see you!"

I sighed and shook my head. I knew that I could probably make it to the gazebo and back undetected but tonight I was all Tanya's. She going to marry John in the morning and tonight was her bachelorette party of sorts. Edward would just have to wait to see me. I missed him too even though we had only been apart for a total of five hours but we would have to get out of our honeymoon phase eventually. We had after all been married for three years.

"Goodbye Mr. Cullen," I purred and hung up the phone before he had a chance to reply. Naturally he called me right back but I just laughed and sent him to voicemail. I rummaged through my closet pulling out a black bikini. I dressed quickly and went down to the indoor pool where all the girls were waiting for me.

"Lovely of you to join us, sister dear," Tanya said as she sailed smoothly through the water back stroking.

"Edward," I shrugged by way of explanation.

"This is all very disgusting. I mean what could you two possibly have left to talk about? You're attached at the hip!" Irina exclaimed.

"He wanted me to meet him naked at the gazebo," I said.

"Well _that_ is conversation I can get behind," Irina said as a naughty smile covered her face.

"I'm sure you can," I rolled my eyes before descending the marble steps into the water.

"I still say we should have gone to some clubs in Moscow! This is your last night as a single girl! No more slutty dresses and clear heels," Irina pouted turning to Tanya.

"Actually John loves my slutty dresses and clear heels. My collection has grown quite a bit thanks to him," Tanya replied thoughtfully.

Kate and Esme giggled from where they sat on the edge of the pool only letting their legs dangle in the water.

"Figures he'd be into all things tacky," Rose snarked.

"Says the girl who I caught wearing a leopard print latex catsuit two months ago," Tanya responded.

"Fuck you."

"I love you too, cousin."

It had taken Rosalie a little over a year to decide to come to Russia and that was only so that she could attend mine and Edward's wedding. Once she arrived though, Esme worked on her incessantly to stay. It only took Rose three days to agree.

Her relationship with Tanya quickly mended but it took a little longer for her and John. They remained tense and hostile toward one another for quite a while. Over time the ire waned but they were still nothing more than cordial to one another.

"Latex, Rose?" I asked scrunching up my nose. "Gross."

"Don't knock it until you try it," she shrugged seemingly unashamed.

Sometimes I felt like Rosalie would have fit right in with my sisters had she been part of our family first and not the Cullens. She and Emmett had quite the sex life and I, along with everyone else, occasionally had the misfortune of walking in on them in various locations. They never seemed to care though, they would just keep on humping each other like nothing was amiss.

"You know it's times like this that I miss being human," Kate murmured dreamily. "A little Russian vodka would make this night complete."

"That and some chocolate. I'll never forget and always miss chocolate," I added sadly.

"Hey!" Tanya exclaimed slapping the water. "This is not a human reminiscent moment! We should be talking about men and marriage and sex!"

"Men and sex, I can do," Irina said. "Marriage? Not so much."

"Well we'll handle that point," I smiled gesturing toward all the married girls. "Just because you're getting married doesn't mean things have to change. Your love is the same, the commitment and devotion to one another is the same, you two are the same. Only the label changes," I said.

"He might feel a little more possessive too," Rosalie put in.

"As will you," said Esme.

"I don't think I can feel any more possessive," Tanya replied a little shyly.

"I should hope not!" Alice laughed. "When we went to that festival a few months back in St. Petersburg I got a vision of you actually detaching that poor girl's head and she had only smiled at John!"

"It was a fleeting idea and I knew that she was thinking something awful because Edward glanced at me with that arrogant ass smirk he gets when he knows something you don't!" Tanya replied defensively.

I just shook my head in response. It was quite entertaining to watch Tanya and John's relationship unfold. They were both either overly affectionate and attached or hell raising mad at each other. The rage usually arose from jealously because truthfully they both were insanely possessive and demanding of each other's time. It was cute in a fucked up and borderline unhealthy type of way.

The rest of the night was spent laughing and talking about Tanya, John, sex, and men in general. It was just an old fashioned girls night, but as the sun replaced the moon in the sky the party ended and Alice leapt into action.

She of course was planning the wedding and was like a militant midget bossing everyone around and growling to insure she got her way. The boys arrived at the house promptly at 8:00am and Edward found me immediately.

"You're dressed now," he frowned.

I punched him in the gut playfully before wrapping my arms around his neck. I kissed his lips and looked into his beautiful golden eyes. I sighed realizing that his beauty still took my breath away just as it had the day I first laid eyes on him.

I dropped my shield to tell him. While my shield is down I also thought back to when I wet and naked after getting out of the shower last night.

"I won't stay this way,"

"Bella," he narrowed his eyes in warning. "Don't tease me."

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently while recalling the last time I had him in my mouth. He growled making me laugh as I pulled away from him. I was about to go up stairs to Tanya where she had to stay since John was in the house but Alice stopped me.

"I need you to go to the airport with Jasper," she said.

"Um, can we not send the girl who tried to kill, Paul?" John interjected. "I think this will go a lot smoother if we send someone more peaceable."

I turned to glare at John with my hands on my hips. "I'm not peaceable?"

"Well you're not known for your even temper," he replied. "But even if you were, don't you think it would be wise for them to be picked up by someone who they don't feel threatened by?"

"Whatever," I huffed.

"Don't be salty, B. I just really need this to all work out," he said and I can see just how much he meant it in his eyes. After leaving Forks, John waited a few months to let Sam cool off and then tried relentlessly to gain his nephew's forgiveness. He called, wrote, and e-mailed the entire pack nonstop. It wasn't until a few months before John proposed to Tanya that Sam started to come around by returning an e-mail. It was an angry yet heartfelt e-mail but it gave John the hope he needed to persist.

They kept up a steady stream of e-mails until John told Sam that he had proposed to Tanya and that they would be married three months later. Sam then called in his congratulations. John extended an invite to Sam and the rest of the pack and they surprisingly accepted.

"It will work out. Sam wouldn't have agreed to come if there was anymore animosity right?" I replied softening my tone.

"Right," he nodded exhaling audibly.

"Okay, then, John, you go hunt and Esme will pick up the pack with Jasper," Alice said.

John had been the typical newborn; crazy with bloodlust, unpredictable mood swings, and completely unaware of his own strength. Luckily there was more than enough of us to help him. It took about a year and a half for John to lose the mood swings and understand his strength. The bloodlust, we learned, however, would always be a part of him. John needed to feed at the very least two times a week. It tripped us out that his eyes would only remain bright gold for a day before they began to darken. Carlisle had a field day asking him all about how he felt and pondering other possible effects his wolf gene would have had on John's transformation. It turned out that animals didn't flee from him like they did the rest of us. Hunting for John was quite easy. He could simply walk over to the animal and bite, there was no chasing what so ever. As a result Emmett and I often went hunting with him to scare away his animal and liven up his hunting trip…and also to piss John off.

I watched as he left the house, before finally making my way to Tanya's room. She was there with Kate and Irina. They were doing her nails, Irina on feet and Kate on hands.

"John's left to hunt?" Tanya asked.

"Yea, just now," I nodded.

"Good," she breathed. "Some of the wolves will be bringing their imprints and I don't want him to suffer throughout the ceremony."

"Well he'll be the only one not suffering. I remember the smell of those mutts. This will be the happiest day of my sister's life and all I'll remember is how rank it was," Irina grumbled.

I snickered but Kate tapped Irina's arm making her yelp as Kate used her gift to shock her.

"That was so uncalled for!" Irina exclaimed.

"Well don't be a bitch! Those guys are John's family. I would have given anything in the world to keep in touch with my family after I changed. John has that opportunity and we should do everything we can to help and accommodate him!" Kate hissed.

"I was only joking," Irina muttered disgruntled.

They finished her nails in silence and after they were done Rosalie came in to do her make up. After Rose, I stepped up and styled her hair. She had picked a half up, half down look and I executed it flawlessly with loose spiral curls falling after a chignon at the crown of her head. I stepped back after my work was done and smiled.

"You're stunning," I said and hugged her tightly.

"You are," Irina agreed with a smile.

"Thanks," Tanya replied with a heavy sigh. "I'm so excited! I just can't wait to marry him!"

My smile grew as I remembered feeling exactly like that before my own wedding. I was off the walls with excitement and the minutes just seemed to drag. I was delighted to see Tanya this happy, this excited. I was glad that she's found someone who would keep her that way for the rest of forever.

_**TPOV**_

I couldn't help it. I had to hug Bella a second time. I could see how happy she was for me and I just felt the need to be close to her today. We'd been through so much in our relatively short time together and our bond has only strengthened because of all the happenings before this day. I'll never regret adding her to my family and I'm so glad I get to call her my sister. I wrapped my arms around her again and she squeezed me tightly letting me know that she understood how I felt and felt the same way.

"I love you so much, B," I whispered.

"I love you too," she responded.

We held each other for a long time until Hurricane Alice burst through the door carrying four garment bags which I'm sure contained my dress and those of my sisters. I could never chose a maid of honor so I simply had three bridesmaids. John had chosen Sam to be his best man and he would walk down the aisle with Kate but only because she beat out the other two in rock, paper, scissors.

"Okay ladies," Alice said dropping the bags on my bed. "I need you dressed and ready to go in thirty minutes," the mad midget demanded.

"Sure thing," Irina replied, none of us suicidal enough to do anything other than exactly what Alice said. She left the room as quickly as she entered and we all immediately started to dress.

I chose burgundy for the bridesmaids' dress but let them chose their own design. Irina of course chose the sexiest dress she could before it tipped the scale at slutty. It was haltered with a deep but tasteful v-neck, nonexistent back, and it hugged her hips quite snugly. Kate's dress was a one shouldered number with a split that ran high up her thigh. Bella's dress was off the shoulder with a sweetheart neckline. It was very feminine and very Bella. My own dress was pearl colored with a corset bodice, a big ball gown skirt with intricate draping, and a three foot train.

"I can't wait until John sees me in this," I smiled at my own reflection.

"Well no need to wait any longer chickadee," Alice said as she blew back into the room. "It's show time!"

She walked around the room inspecting all of us and telling us how beautiful we looked. I gave all my sisters hugs and kisses before they left me alone in the room. I could hear all the commotion going on outside where the wedding would take place. It was sunny outside so everyone would be in their sparkling glory and that made me happy. I felt like a priceless gem and I wanted to look like one as well. When Alice returned to the room, she smiled brilliantly and embraced me.

"I'm so happy for you, cousin," she said.

"Thanks Alice."

"Are you ready?"

"Hell yes."

"Well let's go!"

I walked down to the backdoor just off the kitchen and out on the trail that led to the ceremony. When I was finally able to see all the guests, I overlooked them all because the only person I was interested in seeing was John. He looked magnificent in his black tux, his hair was pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, and he shined radiantly under the sun. My breath caught in my chest and I got the all too familiar feeling of needing to cry but not being able to. He stood at the end of the aisle with my heart in his able hands, the key to my happiness in his pocket, and his love and devotion for me in his eyes. I'd been searching for this man for more than a millennium and he'd surely been worth the wait.

_**EPOV**_

The Denalis knew a lot of vampires and most of them had been excited to attend Tanya's wedding. Because I was privy to their inner thoughts, I knew that it was because they were all well aware of Tanya's previous succubus lifestyle and were too incredulous to not come and see her be tied down to one man. It pissed me off that they weren't here solely because they were happy for her but I never said a word because I wouldn't dare do a thing to take away from the pure bliss that appeared on her face when she arrived.

"Hey, what's that look?"

I turned to find Tanya right beside me. I let my face relax into a smile and shook my head.

"Nothing you need to worry about," I replied.

"Good. You shouldn't worry about it either then. There are more pressing matters at hand," she said.

"What's that?"

"The bride would like to dance with you."

I smiled and immediately swept her into my arms and twirled us out to the dance floor. She giggled and gracefully followed my lead into a waltz.

"So how does it feel to be married after all this time?" I asked.

"Fabulous!" she breathed closing her eyes. "Better than I could have ever imagined! John just makes my heart sing. As corny as it sounds, it's one hundred percent true."

I nodded my head knowing exactly what she meant. I glanced over at my own spouse and found her in the arms of none other than Mr. John Uley. He looked just as happy as Tanya and though he was enjoying the conversation he was having with Bella who he had developed a close camaraderie with, part of his mind was solely focused on Tanya.

"I have it on good authority that he feels the exact same way," I replied with a smirk. She rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure all he can think about is our trip to Forks after the honeymoon. You should have seen the look on his face when Sam said that we could come back any time we wanted. He just lit up," Tanya smiled.

"I did see and I have to admit that Rose may have been a tab bit happier. She was calm on the outside but on the inside there was mental dancing and cheering,"

"And there I was thinking that she had started to like it here," Tanya laughed.

"Oh she has," I assured her. "We're going to ride out our stay here but she's just glad that we have the option to go back when it's time."

"Such a brat," Tanya muttered shaking her head.

"But we love her anyway."

"True."

We danced in silence for a while before Tanya picked up the conversation again.

"I'm glad that we could get back here," she said. "I'm glad that after everything you are still one of my best friends. Your friendship means so much to me and I'm sorry that I jeopardized that before."

"It wasn't entirely your fault. We both made mistakes, so I'm sorry too. But we've been over this many times before. Let's not do it again today. Today is about you, John, and all the joy the future has in store for you two," I told her.

"Bella's a lucky girl," Tanya said smiling up at me.

"Hmph! He's the lucky one!" Bella said suddenly dancing beside Tanya and I. I rolled my eyes but really I agreed with her completely.

"Wanna take this maggot off my hands?" John asked.

I sighed exasperatedly, " If I must."

Tanya kissed my cheek before she and Bella seamlessly traded dance partners without missing a step. I pulled Bella tight against me and kissed her neck. I loved feeling her against me. Her body corresponded perfectly with mine and she was the most exquisite being in the world to me. I still couldn't believe that she was mine and more than that, that she wanted to be mine. There were plenty of days where I felt I didn't deserve her but I was glad that I had her anyway.

She brought her hand up to cup my face and kissed my lips, "I love it when you look at me like that. You make me feel as if I'm the most beautiful only girl in the world."

"You are, baby. You are."

The dance floor soon became crowded with couples and Bella and I decided to go sit down. We went over to the gazebo that I suggested we meet at last night. Unfortunately there was no real fun to be had there because the guests would still be able to see us. We sat on the bench and Bella sidled up to my side and I wrapped my arm around her. We watched the other partygoers dance and glitter faintly under the setting sun.

"Kate's been with that guy Garrett for quite some time now," Bella said watching her sister giggle as Garret whispered pretty but sincere words into her ear.

"Yea Kate's been with him all day but when's the last time you saw Irina," I asked her scanning all the minds on the estate to see if I could locate her. When I did, I wished I had just left her be.

"She's with that vampire with the dreads," I groaned.

"As in with him?" Bella asked and I nodded my head.

"Classic Irina," she sighed.

"True," I agreed.

"At least everyone is happy though. I mean really happy. Today there is no reason for worries, fears, or drama. Today everything is perfect, hopefully it'll stay that way. Do you think that it will?" she asked.

I looked around at our family's smiling faces and felt the love that was thick and palpable in the air around us. I thought back over the past several years and it seemed that almost everything that could go wrong, already did. The problems had been solved, relationships had been formed, mended, and strengthened. I could see no reason why our current state of contentment could not hold for the rest of our existence. I turned to my wife and kissed her lips briefly but passionately.

"Yes, Bella. I really do think it will."


End file.
